⚠️TW: SUICIDE⚠️
In the dimly lit room, I awoke to find Dad, silently weeping in front of the window. The clock read 3 am, a time when the world was cloaked in darkness and our emotions often ran wild.
"Dad" I called out, my voice trembling with concern. "Dad, what's wrong?"
Bucky, his voice choked with tears, urged me to go back to sleep. "Honey, you should try to get some rest..."
But I couldn't just ignore his pain. I moved closer, wrapping my arms around him in a comforting embrace. "Tell me, please. What's troubling you?"
With a quivering voice, he replied, "Just a nightmare... nothing more."
Seeking solace in his presence, I snuggled beside him, and together we drifted off to sleep. As the night progressed, I could sense a warm arm and a comforting blanket draped over us, a gentle reminder of Steve...
Morning arrived, and I bounded downstairs, greeting Clint's kids and Laura with a cheerful "Good morning." Laura, in her kindness, prepared a stack of fluffy pancakes that filled the room with their delightful aroma. I devoured two pancakes, savoring every bite, before we all headed outside.
The air was crisp as the children and I engaged in lively games of soccer and football. Joy filled the atmosphere, and I basked in the happiness that surrounded us. All eyes were fixed on our playfulness, and for a fleeting moment, I felt truly content.
Clint interrupted our games, beckoning for our assistance. "C'mon, guys, we could use your help with something!"
Tony interjected, pointing out that I needed to continue my training. Reluctantly, Clint nodded in agreement, and I began my training regimen.
An hour passed, and just as Clint called for a break, a searing pain erupted in my head. It was then that I saw her again—Mia, my dear departed friend.
"Mia," I whispered, my voice filled with longing and sorrow. "I miss you."
In a ghostly tone, Mia responded, "I miss you too...oh Peter."
Embarrassment washed over Peter's face as I questioned, "What's wrong?"
Suddenly I wasn't near the others, we were in Mia's old room...with Peter!
His voice faltered as he admitted, "I kissed her..."
Shock and confusion gripped me. "What?"
Peter's words spilled out in a rush, "It was just one kiss, and it meant absolutely nothing... I made a foolish mistake..."
Mia's voice trembled with hurt as she lashed out, "Was Mj prettier than me?!"
Peter, desperate to defend himself, hurriedly denied it. "No! Mia, please believe me!"
But Mia's pain turned into anger, and she accused him, "LIAR!"
Frustrated, Peter shouted, "Mia!"
Unable to bear witness to their anguish, I found myself transported back to the day Mia had tragically passed away. Overwhelmed by grief, I stood frozen, my heart breaking all over again.
Peter's voice trembled as he tried to reach out to me, "Y/n-"
Uttering a feeble response, I stammered, "Uhm..."
Without further explanation, I turned and walked away, seeking refuge within the confines of the house. I locked all the doors and windows, feeling an overwhelming need to shield myself from the pain and confusion that engulfed me.
"Y/n, open the door right now!" Bucky's voice pleaded with urgency.
I met his gaze with tear-stained eyes, my resolve unyielding. Slowly, I turned away, my heart heavy with indescribable anguish. Steve, his voice filled with concern, called out my name, desperately trying to reach me.
"Why?" I whispered, my voice barely audible, as tears continued to stream down my cheeks.
In the depths of despair, I grabbed a knife, my mind clouded with thoughts of escape. But in an unexpected turn of events, Loki materialized behind me, seizing the knife and casting it aside.
"What the hell are you thinking?!" Loki's voice echoed with disbelief and concern.
Trembling and hyperventilating, I struggled to regain control. Loki, his eyes locked with mine, took charge, soothingly urging me to breathe. His touch offered a lifeline, a glimmer of hope amidst the turmoil that threatened to consume me.
"Breathe," Loki commanded firmly, as I fought against his grip, my body wracked with sobs.
Desperate to free myself from his hold, I resorted to kicking and flailing. But Loki, undeterred, lifted me effortlessly, opened the door, and carried me to the safety of my room.
Peter rushed into my room, his emotions still raw and tumultuous, as Bucky and Steve tried to calm him down. His voice cracked as he cried out, "Why?! Did. You. Do. This?!"
Struggling to find my composure, I continued to shake, tears flowing unabated. I curled up in my bed, seeking solace within the familiar cocoon of my blanket, my exhaustion ultimately pulling me into a fitful sleep.
At 3 pm, I woke up, my steps silent as I descended the stairs. The sight that greeted me was the concerned faces of everyone gathered in the living room. Overwhelmed by their presence, I retreated quietly, making my way back upstairs.
Undeterred, everyone followed, their eyes filled with worry and compassion. I found myself standing before the mirror, a reflection of a broken soul staring back at me.
"Y/n," Peter's voice trembled, as he tentatively approached me.
Instinctively, I recoiled, taking a step back, but he closed the distance between us. Rain poured outside, mirroring the tempest within our hearts. Peter, his face stained with tears, pleaded for my understanding.
"I know Mia was your best friend, and you're falling apart... but so am I," he confessed, his voice filled with remorse.
Emotions overwhelmed me, and I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. I reached out, touching his face, turning it gently towards mine. Locking eyes with him, I pulled him into a heartfelt embrace.
"Peter," I whispered, my voice laden with regret, "I'm truly sorry. Mia was my best friend, and her loss has shattered me."
He nodded, his gaze avoiding mine, the weight of our shared pain evident. But in that moment, as the rain drenched us both, I knew we needed each other more than ever.
Suddenly, the rest of our friends appeared, observing the scene from a distance, leaving us to find solace in one another's arms. Our clothes clung to our wet bodies, and tears mingled with the rain as we stood there, united in our grief.
"I didn't mean to hurt you," Peter murmured through his tears, seeking forgiveness.
The pain in his voice echoed my own, and I couldn't help but soften. I grabbed his face once more, urging him to meet my gaze. Together, we stood, rain pouring down our faces, seeking solace in the shared pain and understanding we found in each other's embrace.
"I... I understand, Peter," I whispered, my voice choked with emotion. "Mia's absence has left a void in both our lives. We're both struggling to navigate this pain."
Tears continued to stream down our faces, mingling with the raindrops. In that moment, the weight of loneliness and sorrow seemed to lessen as we clung to each other, seeking comfort and support.
As the rain poured relentlessly, our friends approached, their expressions reflecting concern and empathy. They stood beside us, silent but present, a testament to the strength of our bond and the depth of their friendship.
Tony, normally the one quick with quips and jokes, placed a hand on my shoulder, his eyes filled with genuine compassion. Natasha, usually composed and stoic, rested a gentle hand on Peter's arm, offering silent solidarity. Each member of our makeshift family conveyed their unwavering support through simple gestures, words unnecessary in this moment of raw vulnerability.
With their presence, the weight on my chest began to ease. Though the pain of losing Mia would never fully dissipate, I realized that I didn't have to bear it alone. I had a family—a chosen family—willing to stand beside me, offering solace, understanding, and love.
Amidst the rain and tears, I found the strength to speak again. "Peter, I'm sorry for my outburst earlier. I know you didn't mean to hurt me. We're both hurting, and I don't want our friendship to suffer because of it."
Peter's grip tightened around me, his voice filled with remorse. "I'm sorry too, Y/n..."
The gravity of our shared loss hung heavy in the air, but so did the promise of healing and resilience. We stood there, drenched and vulnerable, yet finding solace in one another's presence. The rain continued to pour, as if washing away the burden of our grief, leaving room for growth and forgiveness.
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