Tom was driving Meredith home from the hospital. There wasn't much talking. He really wanted to ask if Derek was something else to her but he didn't want to cross any boundaries.
"Uhm Tom?" Meredith broke the silence.
"Yes?" He replies immediately.
"There's something you need to know," she started playing with her watch as she got nervous. Usually she wouldn't tell this to a guy so early on in the relationship but Tom was different from any guy she has dated.
"I'm all ears," he chuckled a bit. Meredith gave him a forced smile and continued, "I lied, Derek and I weren't, I mean Derek wasn't just my boss. He was the first man I truly loved," she confessed.
"Okay-," Tom had no idea what to say. He kind of knew there was something more there and was wondering when she'll tell the truth but to be fair he had no idea what to say to that if she did tell him.
"Are you mad that I didn't tell you immediately?" She got really nervous and started playing with her thumbs. Her heart started racing as Tom stopped the car and looked at her.
"Meredith," he touched her thighs making her flinch a bit. That made him question so many things. Why is she jumping so much when someone touches her? "I am not mad. Look," he turned in his chair, "I don't know what you have gone through, what men did to you, what Derek did to you but when you're with me you don't have to be scared to be yourself to be scared to tell me stuff. I totally understand the reason you thought you didn't need to tell me you dated Derek. I wouldn't have either. I much rather forget about that part of my life," he finished. He saw her still shaking, scared of what he might do next. "Meredith," his voice was low, "Can I touch you?" he asked politely trying not o trigger anything. She nodded lightly. "Okay?" he nodded with her, "Come here, sit in my lap," he told her. Meredith obeyed and went over. Tom pulled her in close and started stroking her hair. His other hand wrapped around her waist. He was so gentle with her, trying not to hurt her more, "I want to help you, so if you're ready you can tell me what Derek did to you or what someone else did to you. But for now I'm just here for you, a shoulder to cry on. I won't be asking any questions not until you're ready. I just want you to know that when you're with me you don't have to be scared." he pulled her in close to his chest.
"Thank you," she whispered wrapping her hand around his neck.
After a few minutes they started driving again and finally got to Meredith's house.
"Thank you for everything," she hugged him around his waist when they got to do the door.
"Don't be silly, gladly do it anytime," he breathed in her scent. They pulled away from each other and stared into each others eyes when Izzy opened the front door.
"Meredith I thought I heard noises outs- oh well you're new!" Izzy looked at Tom smirking.
"Yes hi, I'm Tom." he put his hands out.
"British!" she sounded surprised, "kind of hit the jackpot with this one Mer," she whispered to her.
"Izzy," she stomped on her foot. Meredith looked back up at Tom blushing, seeing him trying to hold back his giggles.
"Auu, what was that for?" Izzy acted all innocent. Meredith just gave her, her death stare making her realise it was a bit out of line.
"So Tom," she looked back up at him, "care for a drink?" she asked.
"I would love to but I have to get to work, rain check?" he asked.
"Yes definitely."
"Okay well bye Meredith," he gave her smile before leaving the front porch. "Bye Tom," she watched him walk away.
"Oh my god," Izzy mouthed to her as they walked back inside, "Where did you get him?" they went into the kitchen.
"We met at the bar few days ago," Meredith answered trying to hide that cute smile on her face.
"You failed to mention he was this hot and British!" Izzy sounded hurt.
"You'll get over it," Meredith rolled her eyes and sat down next to the kitchen counter.
"And you're head? What happened?" She asked.
"Oh that's nothing!" She really didn't want to talk about it. She knows how protective her friends get. If she says it was Derek they'll give him hell.
"Meredith," Izzy warned her.
"I got hit by something and I needed stitches okay?" She tried to wrap it up.
"Alright no need to get mad at me. I'm was just asking,"
"I'm sorry, it's just been such a weird day," Meredith's head fell between her hands trying to process things. Seeing Derek just brought back so many feelings and she really wants to get over him but just for the life of it, she can't get him out of her mind.
"Is everything okay?" Izzy asked.
"Not really. Derek's back," she looked back up at her.
"Oh," Izzy looked like she saw something shocking. She was there when they broke up. It wasn't pretty. "Is he coming back to the hospital?" She walked around counter and sat down beside Meredith.
"I don't know. He's just so drunk. And doesn't know what he's doing. This girl Babe he's dating. There's something off with her," Meredith shook her head trying to figure out something.
"Her name's Babe, there's already something wrong with her," Meredith started laughing, "Yeah," she scoffed, "You're not wrong."
"Hey guys! What are you talking about?" Alex joined the room.
"How fucked up Mer's life is," Izzy teased her.
"Hey!" She punched her in the arm, "at least I have a life that can be fucked up," she snapped back.
"Ooh," Alex started laughing, "she got you good," he opened the fridge and took out the orange juice.
"You're supposed to put that in a glass. Other people drink from that!" Izzy warned him, seeing that he's about to drink from the carton.
"I bought it!" Alex ignored her.
"You guys are like an old married couple who hate each other, it's hilarious," Meredith laughed at them.
"Oh shut up, you're like a human traffic accident waiting to happen," Izzy rolled her eyes and stood up from the chair.
"My life is not so fucked up!" Her voice cracked.
"Keep telling yourself that," Alex chuckled, leaving the room.
"I hate you guys," Meredith slammed her hands on the table.
"But you love us," Izzy giggled leaving the room after Alex.
-
"Mer!" Cristina came running up to her, "did you hear that Shepherds back?"
"Wait already?!" Meredith got freaked out.
"You knew he's coming back and didn't even bother to tell me?" Cristina acted hurt.
"I was going to but I didn't think he'd be back so soon. I need to talk to him," Meredith started freaking out, "Do you know where he is?" Meredith ran back to Cristina realising she has absolutely no idea where to find him.
"I'm guessing he's in his office," Cristina answered.
"Okay thanks," she walked away really quick.
So many thoughts ran through her mind. Will he be sober or will he be drunk? If he was sober will he remember what he did to her? Her heart started racing as she got closer to his office. Shock rushing through her body. She didn't have a normal conversation with him ever since he left. It's now or never, she thought as she went up to his door and knocked on it.
"Come in!" She heard a voice but it wasn't Derek's.
"Oh uhm, Amelia hi," Meredith came through the doors shocked. She should have known that Derek didn't get his job back as head of neuro.
"Derek is in the Attending lounge," Amelia read her face, "I can page him for you. You two can talk in here," she said politely.
"That's very nice of you," Meredith accepted as she walked in and waited for Derek to come through the doors.
"Amelia you paged me?" He came in. Amelia didn't say anything. She just motioned her eyes over to Meredith making Derek stop breathing. "Meredith-,"
"I should go-," Amelia ran out of the room before she was caught up in that drama.
"Hi," she waved her hand and smiled at him awkward. Derek didn't know what to do next. Yesterday was all so blurry but he knows he's done something wrong if Meredith came to see him privately.
"You wanted to talk?" Derek filled the silence.
"Yeah ughm," she cleared her throat, "how much do you remember from yesterday?" She took a step closer.
"Not much to be fair, I remember some shouting, A lOt oF spinning and-," he stopped abruptly as he looked back up at Meredith remembering what he has done, "Oh mY GOD," he slapped his hands across his mouth, "I can't believe I hurt you like that!" He started freaking out.
"Yeah-, took me by surprise," she scoffed.
"I am so sorry Meredith. What can I do for you to forgive me," his voice started breaking.
"I just want to know if you're okay. Are you drunk or-?" Meredith really wanted the answer to be no.
"I am not drunk. I'm recovering, thank you." He took a step closer but Meredith stepped back, trying to keep her distant, "Right sorry. Still scared," the pain in her eyes made Derek almost collapse on the floor. How could he do that too her. This isn't what was supposed to happen, they were supposed to be friends. Now he went all crazy and ruined it.
"Derek?" Meredith brought him back to reality, "Is Babe making you drink all the time or is she making you do stuff you don't want to?" She was hoping she didn't break any boundaries.
"No! Why would you even say that?" Sudden anger hit him. It was like he had been possessed.
"Why are you getting mad at me?" Meredith kept her voice low. But Derek just started shouting, he was a whole new person, "Cause you keep poking your nose into my business! I'm not your problem anymore so just leave me alone!" He stopped to breathe for a minute before yanking the door open.
"Derek-!" Meredith shouted at him through greeted teeth trying be quite.
"What!" He looked back with disgust. Something was awfully wrong with him. Babe did something to him, said something to him, Meredith thought. She knew this wasn't Derek, he would never talk to her like that. Meredith didn't say anything, she went up close to him and hugged him. Derek was taken by surprise first but decided to embrace the hug. He felt so relaxed all of a sudden. Being in Meredith's arms once again, all his problems suddenly washed away. Derek pulled her close. Savouring this moment for as long as he could. Breathing her in, hoping he remembers her scent after they pull away. "I'm so sorry," he sounded like he was about to cry.
"It's okay," she started rubbing his back and giving out shushing sounds. "I don't think you're ready to come back to work yet. You have to take a few days to sober up and pull your shit together," she pulled away holding his arms. Derek nodded lightly trying not to break in front of her, "Come here," she pulled him in again. "Go home take a shower, take a nap, eat and just come back in two days or how many days you need." She had her hands in his hair, knowing very well that calmed him. As they pulled away Meredith could see tears trying to force they way out of his eyes.
Without even thinking Derek pulled her in close and pressed his lips against hers. It was like being back home for Christmas. Fireworks exploding in their stomach. It was perfect. She didn't want to pull away, she was too tired and his lips were so soft like a pillow, but she knew this was wrong, she had Tom, "Derek-," she stepped back.
"I-, I don't know why I just did that," he started trembling and ran out that door trying to get away from her as fast as possible.
"Oh my god," she tried to catch her breath. As feelings came rushing back. The months she spent pushing them down was just for nothing.
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So uhm short chapter but here you go! You got a little MerDer scene don't fvcking kill me! Okay? Thank you💀😂
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