A/N:
mmmm he looks good here
dear cass,
just know i only say that im going
to kill you off as an empty threat
because you get me annoyed:)
-lauren
TW// drugs, self harm, forced sexual acts and vomit (it has nothing to do with purging btw!)
_____________
present day
june 7th 2014- no pov
multiple kids zoomed passed him at the table. huge binders scattered across the table. two stressed adults sitting across from him, as a younger- yet still older lad sits next to him. m
he glanced out the window to see another pair of lads talking, as one lit up a cigarette. for two bandmates they were still standing- well... too close to each other to just be bandmates
"mum i already said we could take over, its stressing you two out! plus the new twins add on to that stress as well"
his green eyes flickered back to what was actually happening in front of him "jay- dan, we would be more than happy to take over" he had joined in on the conversation.
the woman ran her hands through her brown hair before speaking again "i cant let you do that boy! you already have so much going on"
"are the girls all out of school?" louis asked both parents, as they nodded 'yes' to him "well we can get the girls to help as well"
"we love and appreciate you- this! but we are almost finished planning any-"
"dan! you guys have already picked the theme, ordered most of the stuff, sent out the invitations. just let us finished up with the catering, band and all that extra stuff"
dan and jay sighed, having a silent conversation with their as. "mumma! im hungry" one of the tomlinson twins walked into the dinning room.
"dinner wont be ready until six my phee" jay sighed continuing how low they are on food. harry felt bad so he then suggested going out for dinner a little earlier.
which everyone happily agreed to before harry got dragged of to the tomlinson twins room "can we braid your hair?"
"is it even long enough yet?" he laughed throwing himself back on their bed "because i dont think so"
"i dont know! can we at least paint your nails?" daisy asked pulling out a bright pink nail polish.
"i dont see why not, have at it!" he smiled up, sitting up and setting his hands on each of his knees for the twins to paint.
the left hand- pink, the right- black, they were getting caught up. talking about how tour life is still super busy, how the girls just got makeup for their birthday.
hes missed the one on one time with the girls, they are like his own sister. everyone was going well until phoebe asked "do you still love our brother?"
as she painted his pinky finger black, his breath hitched knowing the questions that would follow.
with nodded slowly, with a smile "of course, how could i ever stop phee?" both girls looked up before daisy asked another question.
"does he love you back?"
his curls fell in front of his eyes as he shrugged "im not sure to be honest with you, i did things that made him angry at me- at everyone to be fair"
"does that mean hes angry at us? we heard arguing coming from the dinning room" daisy sighed closing the nails polish and placing it on the night stand.
he shook his head "no hes not, hes only angry towards one person now. everythings become normal- or at least one day soon"
"so hes not angry at us?" the other says.
"i could never be mad at you girls" they all looked towards the doorway, finding louis leaning against it.
harry smiled softly at his- well he doesnt even know. its not like they were together, but its not like they were just friends- or even just bandmate at this point.
"girls, go get your coats. we are leaving in a minute" the blue eyed one told them, the pair ran right out of the room "they interrogating you?" he walked closer.
the curly haired one nodded, with a slight chuckle before responding "when do they not?"
"fair point" there was a brief moment after harry stood up where the world just disappeared. like it was just the two of them.
they were standing quite close, it felt as if gravity was
pulling them closer and closer and- "ahem" they both turned away to see lottie standing by the door.
"time to go" she sent them an odd look "taking three cars. lou your driving with lover boy, fiz and i!" she walked down stairs before singing "lets gooo"
both boys blushed before heading down stairs to put their sneakers on. the twelve- well ten (since the deakins are just a few months old) decided on a simple italian restaurant.
"harold" a familiar female voice spoke, as they climbed into the front of the car "félicite" he smiled behind him.
"how are we this fine evening?" she asked with a bright smile upon her face. its a smile that runs throughout the whole family.
"wonderful and you?"
"better than ever"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
february 10th 2012
harrys pov
"sam- SAM" i cried, my stomach hurting like hell as i rocked myself back and forth on the bottom bunk.
she entered our room, a red hand print was on her cheek "whats up superstar?"
"it hurts- i need to thr- throw u-" before i knew it there was a trash bin under my face, she was behind me pushing my hair out of my face.
"easy there, let it out. come on, thats it" she encouraged as i emptied my insides into the small black bin.
"wanna tell me what happened?" she asked after she left the room to rinse out the bin. she climbed back into my bunk, wrapping me in her arms as she runs through my out-grown curls.
i sighed before closing my eyes and struggle to explain "the desk... they gave me a higher u-uh"
"a higher dosage? those dickwads" she hissed, most likely looking over to the desk "this whole thing has to be illegal, fuck sake"
"then how can they get away with it?" i mumbled,
"like i said... it has to be- but sadly its not. this whole thing is jus-"
"they made me try and pleasure myself again"
it was silent after that, i felt tears just run down my face. sam just held me tighter, i decided to continue through my tears.
"they showed me pictures of- girls... f-from what looked like p.. porn sights and i- i couldnt do it- so.. so they shoved a higher dosage of pills down my throat and... and made me look at photos of g-guys... the pills make me throw u-"
"shh... i know- they make you throw up your 'disease'... they have done it to me. i understand, lets just lay here and go to bed yeah?"
i nodded, asking for another story to help me sleep. sam tells me a lot about her life, she says she doesnt like when people say they are sorry about what she went through.
just having someone to talk to is enough for her, plus im not entirely good at giving advice. so i guess its a win win?
"lets tell you a happy story yeah? well its not all happy. but no story is ever all happy now is it?" she asked, i snuggled in closer to her as if it wasnt already impossible.
i just nodded.
shes not wrong though, no story is ever just happy. theres always something bad- whether they go into detail about it or not.
"well, my dad always supported me. through everyone... whether i changed my extra curricular or getting an f on my tests. my mum, complete opposite. she wanted me to continue piano lessons, get straight a's and find the right boy to marry. of course my parents arent together anymore. but i had to spend weekdays with my mum- weekends with my dad. but with this being said m-"
i shot up, pointing towards the bin on the floor. in one swift move she: placed the bin underneath my face, pulled my hair back and watched me throw up bile.
no food, just bile.
she sighed "better?" i shook my head "for now at least?" i then nodded my head, getting pulled back down into her arms. the black trash bin now on the floor.
"right, now with that being said. when i came out to my dad- he fully supported me. met maddie within that week. absolutely loves her! which is good. more than good. but when my mum picked me up from school one day and saw mads and i kiss... she threw a fit. didnt even buy it when i told her it was a dare. she said 'the devils dare' than within that week i got thrown in here"
"im sorr-"
"dont start superstar. you dont get to apologize for something you didnt do okay? its all my mum. shes as asshole- a dick!"
"okay, i wont. but i do feel bad... before you say dont i still do" i spoke softly to her.
i felt her smile "tell me about your childhood. i could use a story tonight as well yeah? maybe itll distract you"
smiling, i definitely would. i love talking about my family. never miss the chance to honestly.
"growing up it was mainly the three of us. my mums got robin now, call him my dad most times. because well he really is. it felt perfect, but like you said every story isnt all happiness. my biological dad- desmond. he left us, not like left us without a trace. him and mum werent happy. there was a lot of screaming and yelling most nights. he eventually left though. it took a toll on me, started self harming a lot- more than i do now"
she hummed as i continued "robin is good to my mum. gemma likes him too, hes like one of my best mates. he was actually the first person i told about my depression and self harm... and the first person i came out to. he said he wouldnt let anyone hurt me... um- yeah. but i later came out to mum and gems. they hugged and kissed me and asked if i had a boyfriend or not. to be fair when desmond found out he was confused but came around. i dont see him very often but its nice to know he doesnt hate me"
"i wanna meet them one day, and h... no one could ever hate you" she whispered.
i looked up to be met with her green -same shade as mine- eyes "these people do"
she chuckled a bit "i bet secretly the sing one direction songs in the shower" i murmed something i didnt even understand.
i shot up again, pointing towards the bucket.
~~~~~~~~~
present day
june 8th 2014 -no pov
"thats it love, let it all out" louis' voice ran through his ear as he threw up his guts "i told you not to ge-"
"i know you told me not to get the chicken alfredo. i was just stupid and got it anyways" harry remark, more annoyed than ever.
he was annoyed that he was the only one suffering from food poisoning when the eleven other people who were with him yesterday arent.
"oh dont get grumpy with me hazza! now come on, up off the bathroom floor. into bed, i will get you a damo flannel to place over your head"
"youre good to me" the curly haired one mumbled in awe as they made his way to his bedroom. louis helped him into some clean pyjama bottoms and out of his hoodie.
he crawled into bed waiting for louis to get back. when the older one did return he was carrying like seven things.
"right you, have some water. theres medicine here to help you ease the pain if needed. crackers if your up for it, bin for when you throw up- and dont try and hold it in. i know you hate throwing up but please just get it out of your system! and heres a damn flannel because you are burning up"
he place the cool flannel on top of harrys forehead. he had previously tied back the boys hair into a very tiny ponytail "and before you ask, im not going any where"
louis climbed on the other side of the king sized bed as the boy with the green eyes moved closer to him. harry somehow- in this very moment felt content.
he wasnt sure why as he was throwing up every single thing in his body, but louis made it a million times better.
___________
A/N:
HEY BESTIES:)
cass!!! little shit!!! ik you are reading this on the bus, now... ILY- sometimes😩🤚
anyways, hope you enjoyed. maybe put some teasing at the beginning for smth😼
cAsSaNdRa jOhNsOn knows what it is- if you remember bitch:)
alright everyone. i love you and have a wonderful day/night xx -L