I stay in the bathroom by myself for the rest of lunch, contemplating about what I should do next. Don't get me wrong, I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I just know I fucked up, and being the person I am, I don't want to face my problems. Giving in and slapping him just proved whatever rumor was going on around us was true. And that was all my fault. I can't control myself.
I contemplate making up some bullshit excuse to go home, just to find dad there, which would be a sticky situation. And on the other hand, I want to just skip the last two periods sitting in the toilet. There's no doubt that over lunch people would've found out what happened.If I skip the next lesson, people would pity me and I've already gotten too many of those looks the past few weeks. So instead I drag myself out of my little hole and force my ass to class.When I get there, nobody's in and the only person there is Mr. Jung, and when he sees me he laughs, I don't return the smile.
"Why are you so early today?" He asks.
"Study?" I said before pulling out random books from my backpack as an 'excuse' that I'm studying. Five minutes pass and soon the class starts filling up, giving a small glance as they walk past me, but none of them say anything. Jungkook doesn't even glance, he walks past, taking the seat behind me as if I'm not even there. Mr Jung starts to take registration for the lesson when he stops at Jungkook, whose voice is quiet. I know how sensitive he can be, even if he doesn't show it.
And that's when Mr Jung pauses."Your cheek is swollen Jungkook."
"Well, no shit," Jimin mutters angrily to himself and I have to remind myself of how mad Jimin gets when he's angry. Everyone waits for his answer, and as they do I can feel their eyes on me.
"Uh... a ball hit my face when I was playing soccer." He says, and Mr Jung raises an eyebrow not convinced, but either way, he continues, knowing better than to get involved with high school drama.
"Okay, next... Lisa."
"Yes sir," I answer, my voice quieter than usual. I watch as Mr Jung looks up from the piece of paper, his eyes glaring at the both of us as he puts the pieces together. It's really not that hard to figure out what happened.He continues taking the register, the room completely silent. Right now all I want to do is apologize to him, but it doesn't work with a simple, 'I'm sorry', there's so much more behind this already. That's when I feel my phone vibrate multiple times in my back pocket, I pull it out not caring if Mr Jung can see.
Jae: i'm going to get straight to the point
Jae: You probs won't see this until after school anyways
Jae: But I'll get straight to the point since they'll probably procrastinate until they tell u
Jae: I'm gonna get to the point
Jae: Don't get upset Talk about procrastination, 'I'm going to get straight to the point' my ass.
Lisa: ???Jae: Aren't u supposed to be in class rn?
Lisa: And you?
Jae: Fair point
Lisa: So? What were u gonna say?
Jae: I'll tell you afterLisa: srsly?
Jae: I'm picking u up anyways, I'll tell you then.
Lisa: Was it that important you had to text me now?
Jae: Actually yes
Lisa: Then TELL ME asshole
Jae: mom and dad are
Jae: nvm
Jae: I'll tell you at home
Lisa: wtf?
At that exact moment I look up too see Mr Jung's hand held out. "Phone."
***
"What is it then?"
I say, as I meet Jae in the parking lot outside of school. He scratches his neck uncomfortably,"I'll just tell you at home."
"NO, you said you'll say it now."
"Lisa, I don't think you'll want to hear right here-"
"I'm not going to come then."
I know I sound like a brat, but I really hate it when people hide things from me.
"Fine, just don't get upset, okay?" He places a hand on the steering wheel, looking out in front. "Okay?"
I say as I dump my bag at the top of the car, taking off my jacket and putting it inside. Damn, it's getting so warm-"Mom and dad are getting..."
"Getting a... what?" I can only think of one word to end that sentence, and that's not it, definitely not it.
"They're getting a divorce."I look down at Jae, who's looking everywhere else besides me. "You're fucking joking." My voice is stern at first before the panic starts to take over, "Tell me your fucking joking." He doesn't answer, and desperate, I ask again, "Jae, this isn't the time to joke around-"
"Does it look like I'm fucking joking?!" He bangs the horn out of anger, as we attract the attention of more students entering the parking area. "Y-You're lying," I say, as I grab my bag off the car, taking a step backwards. Lisa, come on-" He says as I shut the car door starting to walk away, trying to process whatever he just said, but my brain refuses to believe that. He's just pulling some type of twisted prank on me. A lot of people are watching right now, but I couldn't care less. I know Jae's not lying, he jokes a lot, but something like this... he wouldn't.
"Lisa don't -" He calls out one more time as I ignore him, bumping into the one and only, Jungkook. My vision is blurry with tears, but I still manage to see the worry in his eyes.
***
I slam the door behind me as soon as I get in, not replying to dad who greeted me and ignoring Jae's protests. "Lisa, come on..." Jae says knocking on the door. "Fuck off." "Lisa, language." I hear the footsteps of my dad as he opens the door to see me, my face buried in my pillow. At the sound of my dad's voice, I feel more tears coming out. There's been tension ever since dad came back, and it's because they knew, they all knew, besides me.
"Uh... did something happen at school..?" Dad asks awkwardly, clearly not knowing how to handle his own daughter.
"Dad, I told her."
There's a silence, "Why?" His tone is angry.
"You wouldn't have told her until right before you left, both of you wouldn't, that's not fair on her."If Jae hadn't told me, then when would they have? And that angers me even more.
***
Namjoon and I sit together at a separate table at the back of the dinner hall. We've been sitting together for the past week, and honestly, I owe him everything, because, without him, I'd be forced to sit back at the table in awkward silence with everyone else. Except now, it's not really like 'everyone else.'
Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung have reclaimed their old spot where they used to sit at the beginning of the year, Mi Sun, Jin, and Ji Sung on our current table, whilst Yoojung and Boram have gone back with a few other girls in our class. Everything has just gone downhill.I moved so it wouldn't be awkward, not for them just to... leave.
"Lisa, come on, you're not paying attention." Namjoon prompts and I snap out of my stupid thoughts. He's right, he's taken out time just for me and all I've been doing is spending the entire week, daydreaming, or creepily staring at Jungkook. I don't know why Namjoon hasn't thrown me in the nearest trash can yet.
"Sorry, so you multiply-" I stop when I hear a snicker and we both look up to see Jaehwa standing in front of our table a smirk on her face. That stupid smirk that I try so hard not to smack off. I raise an eyebrow giving her a questioning look.
"I'm busy, is there something you want?" I ask annoyed, seriously I am so done with every single girl I even walk near, whispering about me or giving me looks of pity. If there's one thing I hate, it's people that pity me. I can deal with myself, thank you very much. "So it's true isn't it?" I look back down at my paper, clicking my ballpoint pen, "What is?" And I hear her scoff annoyed because she's not getting the attention she wants.
"You kissed him." She says, and I hear the conversations in the hall die down as they listen to ours instead. Nope, she's getting exactly the attention she wants, and she's loving it.
"Well you must be late," I mutter and she smacks down her fake designer bag on the table. "Bitch, just so you know-"
"Just so you know Jungkook's mine, I love him so fucking much we're going to have three thousand babies together, blah blah blah, make sure to invite me to your divorce, and don't worry I won't be third-wheeling on your honeymoon to Hawaii or whatever place you rich kids go." I hear the table beside us snicker, "-Now can you get out of my way or else I will have no choice but to shove those fake designer six-inch heels up to your ass." I stop before smiling politely, "I hope you cooperate with me and-"She grabs her huge black bag before literally smashing it in my face. My head turns to the side as I feel the leather burn against my skin. I almost laugh before realizing, Lisa that wouldn't help the situation.Yup, I've turned into a crazy person. I feel more reckless than I have in ages, and I couldn't care anymore about anything.
Usually, I would try not to pick a fight with a Senior, but this time I know I'm not exactly helping the situation. I hear someone gasp, and I'm pretty sure that's Boram, thinking about it I haven't spoke to her in ages-"Do you want to fucking repeat that?!"
"Gladly, I hope you cooperate-" This time Namjoon stands up before she can smack me again. Yeah, I'm being a huge sarcastic ass to everyone I meet and I don't know why?
Honestly, when being nice, people take advantage of you, so being an ass is so much better. "Just so you know," Here we go again. Being the extra person I am, I shuffle my papers neatly putting them to the side, put all my pens back in my pencil case before zipping it up, and rest my hand on my chin waiting for her. For a second she's caught off guard, "Uh- just so you k-know-" She stops again shooting me an annoyed look as I tie my hair up, distracting her once more."I'm ready," I say with a small smirk, and I swear I hear Jimin snickering somewhere in the cafeteria, honestly I would love to watch this if I was witnessing some cafeteria beef myself. This time I see real anger flare-up in her eyes.
"God, you think so highly of yourself don't you?-" Says I'm-the-fucking-queen-of-the-school-everyone-bow-down-and-worship-me. Instead, I don't say anything, wanting to hear the crap that's coming out of her mouth.
Yes, I think hearing crap coming out of Jaehwa's mouth would be very entertaining.
"Your so fucking pathetic Lisa, always saying you'd never go down to that level, but look at you making out with Jungkook, knowing full well you have a boyfriend, you're worse than me." She smirks knowing full well she's hit a spot.
"Did that hurt?-" She gives a small pout but I don't say anything, I don't have anything to say. "-God, you're so fucking delusional, did you actually think he kissed you because he felt something? Honey, you're not something special, just because you hang around him like the hoe you are, doesn't mean something. Jungkook only does bets and you're one of them, drill that into your brain."
She pauses.
"No wonder you need tuition."
Ouch. I know I can be rude sometimes but there are limits. "Why aren't you saying anything, huh? You're always talking back? Is it because you have no friends to protect you? Seriously, your such a slut hanging around guys when it's clear they don't like you, cheating on your boyfriend-""So what does that make me?" And the focus shifts onto him, Jungkook. He's been blatantly watching the entire time and when he speaks there's a glint of amusement in his eyes. "What do you mean, oppa?"
Her tone immediately drops into something high-pitched, and I swear my ears get a heart attack, if that's possible, and I see Jungkook shoot an annoyed look.
"What is she? A monkey?" Namjoon mutters beside me, but this time I'm in no mood to laugh. (A/N: I JUST HAD TO OKAY?)
"I'm not your Oppa." Her mouth curves into an 'o' shape, slightly taken aback, Jungkook usually doesn't give two damns, he's too used to that sort of shit.
"So if I have a girlfriend, what does that make me?" He leans back on his chair waiting for an answer. Where is he getting at? He won't... right?"But you don't have a girlfriend, Lisa the little bitch, does." She says snidely, dropping the fake voice."What if I-" I interrupt Jungkook, knowing what he's going to say. This is Jungkook's first real relationship and I don't want anything getting in between them. I know how much he likes her. "-Can you just leave Jaehwa? I have work." Her eyes move between us two, a smirk forming on her face, it's obvious we're hiding something, the entire hall is barely breathing.
"I have a-" Jungkook starts, the asshole isn't getting the message is he?
"Why are you involving yourself in something that clearly doesn't-?!" And it's obvious now, we both know something no one else does.
"Lisa-" I don't know why, but my hear starts pounding when he says my name, "-I'm saying it whether you like it or not okay?" My eyes move to Ji Young, if people find out, especially if they find out how long they've been dating they'd pick on her, and I guess he never thought of that because he was doing it for me.
"I have a girlfriend I've been dating for almost four months, so can you stop calling her a slut, she was drunk and I clearly took advantage of that." I feel my heart drop. Literally. He admitted it, but at the same time, he lied for me. I don't know what to think. I gulp, my eyes threatening to water. Jaehwa scoffs, "Huh? Getting drunk at other guys houses, what are you? See how easily he admitted that? Lisa, your nothing, just a fucking toy, an easy one too-" She laughs when she sees me standing up getting my things, packing away my things, hell no, I ain't crying in front of everyone again. She looks me up and down, "Might as well show your entire ass with how short your skirt is-" I freeze, what the fuck did she just say? Before I can answer back, someone else does, someone I wouldn't expect.
"Do you even hear the bullshit that's coming out of your mouth?" Zoe.Jaehwa falters for a second, half laughing, half in shock.
"A-Are you kidding right now-?!" Honestly I don't even know what's happening anymore. And I know everyone is loving what's happening right now, waiting to gossip about it, but I can't be bothered, I just don't care, so I grab my backpack sling it over my shoulder and walk out to my new favourite hide out. The toilet.
"You know I always somehow manage to deal with it, but putting others down just to make yourself feel better isn't it Jaehwa. Do you know how fucking crappy it makes you feel when someone places a bet on you, like we don't have feelings? No you don't, because your always on the other side of it, aren't you ?" And when she speaks her eyes are on Jungkook.
"Bastard." I
s the last thing she mutters before walking out of the dinner hall.
***
I stand in the bathroom forcing my tears to stay inside. I know I act tough, as if shit like that never gets to me, and it wouldn't but it's Jungkook and that's why it hurts so much. We were friends, well so I thought. I didn't get to hear anything that Zoe said because I don't want people sticking up for me. I know she was trying to help, but I'm a stubborn asshole who's pride doesn't allow me to let people help me. And that's not a good thing.
"Lisa." It's Zoe, she's standing at the door, "Look if your here to pity me or say any of that bullcrap just-"
"Lisa.""Seriously I'm in no mood for-"
"Are you seriously crying over him?" At first, I think she's turned into her usual bitchy self, but she continues, "Out of everyone you?"
"What do you mean?" I ask blinking away more tears."I know I act like a bitch, but I like you Lisa, you don't care about other people, you're sure about yourself, you're confident, why are you letting it ruin you?"
"... What?""He ruined me, not you, Lisa you're stronger than that."
"I don't understand... he what?"
But all I remember from the two were dating for around two weeks and Zoe cheating on him, before breaking up, if anything she hurt him... right?"We dated, everyone, knows that part." She stops, thinking about of she should continue, "Nobody knew it was for a bet."
"A bet? What happened?"
"I guess it was one of those stupid bets boys do." She's not really looking at me anymore, and I can see her eyes water. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"
"I thought I was being overdramatic, its a small thing boys have a laugh over, girls don't really have a say, when I heard Baekhyun placed a bet on you, I thought you'd do something about it." Not gonna lie, I'm disappointed in myself too."What about now? Are you fine?"
"You never quite get over a boy like him."
"Why?""He's so different when you date him, I know it's a cliché but he makes you feel so special, y'know everyone says he could barely last a week in a relationship, but he could, easily." She pauses, "Makes me wonder how he would be with a girl he's actually interested in." It's as if she's talking to herself and I can tell even after all this time, she still likes him."But they said you cheated on him."
"I did it because I wanted to get revenge, he placed a bet on me so I cheated on him, it was stupid." She turns to me, "What was it like? The kiss?"I can barely talk about this with my friends, let alone Lisa.
"I... don't know." She leans her hands on the tabletop of the sink hauling herself up."It's like that isn't it?" She says a faint smile on her face. God, I hope it isn't that easy to tell with me.
Zoe isn't the bitch everyone says she is.She's just hurt.
***
"Lisa, why are you still here?"
Immediately, I scrunch the piece of paper in my hand hiding it behind my back, to see Mr. Jung. "Just getting something," I say my voice slightly shaky.
"Really? School finished ten minutes ago. "
Already? And as I look around, nobody's inside, the hallways practically empty. I scrunch the piece of paper slightly as if I could crush the words written on there. I thought they wouldn't mean anything to me, but they do, since I've been staring at it for this long. I only thought these types of things happened in books, movies, I didn't think people were so shitty in real life.
"Your grades seem to be going up, I guess Namjoon's a good tutor." He says and I nod. Probably because all I've been doing is studying the past week. Surprisingly, if I actually try to concentrate I can get things done. It's the only thing to get my mind off Jungkook and my parents. "Well make sure you stay the same during mocks next week."
He says with a quick nod before walking away. I shove the crumpled piece of paper in the nearest bin on my way out. I notice a crowd of people outside as I get closer to the school gates. At first, it seems like it's one of those freshman fights where everyone's screaming 'FIGHT, FIGHT' with their phones out as each guy throws lame disses at each other, putting off actually fighting. But as I get closer, I realize it's the exact opposite.
The crowd is silent and it seems to be mostly Juniors and Seniors watching. And there seems to be actual fighting. "YOU-""BASTARD-"Another punch. The voice sounds familiar, too familiar. Curiosity takes the best of me and I walk to the crowd, managing to get my small ass to the front.
"HOW DARE YOU-" He punches him again, this time the boy falling to the ground, his head crashing into the metal gate behind. "FUCKING BET ON MY SISTER-" And with every punch I wince, it hurts my heart to see the two fighting. His nose is bleeding along with his lips and his eyes bruised purple. I want him to fight back, but instead, he's letting himself get hurt. I've seen him get into plenty of fights. He's not even trying. Jieun's beside me, and I can practically see tears in her eyes, and I know it's hard to see. A lot of people know Jae, he didn't exactly leave the best impression back at school. Constantly getting into fights, and causing trouble, it was a hassle for mom to be at the principles office almost every week. Ever since he's been at college I guess he's been better at controlling his anger, this whole divorce is really screwing him up.
He has no idea what he's doing. He kneels down to be at level with Jungkook.
"How would it feel if I decided to place a bet to fuck your sister, huh?"
Jungkook eyes are barely open, blood dripping from his nose onto his school shirt. I don't even know how he found out.
"Who's Baekhyun?" He asks Jungkook.
How. How does he know?
Jungkook just shakes his head and with the little energy he has he speaks, "Who the fuck is Baekhyun?"Does the motherfucker want to bleed to death?
"You fucker I-"
I don't know what I do and why I do it, but I instinctively run to Jungkook covering him with my body, my hands wrapping around his neck as I pull him closer, his head instantly resting on my shoulders. They need to stop. He's getting hurt again, because of me. And I wait for it to come, but it doesn't. Jungkook's breathing is heavy and I can feel his blood dripping onto my shirt.
"What the actual fuck is wrong with you?!" I shout to Jae, who's also breathing heavily.
His fists slowly unclench when he sees me. They're bleeding. My head turns back to Jungkook, his eyes barely opening, and I can see the bruises on his face, seeing both of them like this makes me want cry. I don't know if I imagine this, but I feel my shoulder slowly getting wet. Is he crying?
"Lisa move-" Jae starts.
"D-Don't hurt him."