Chapter 39
Shiho Nishizumi sat at her office desk face in hands. Her eyes closed as she listened to the ringing of her cellphone going off. she refused to answer the calls for the sole reason of who was calling. She wouldn't answer, she refused to have anything to do with the caller. She wanted nothing but silence.
As the call ended and sent the caller to voice mail Shiho moved one of her hands to grab a glass next to a bottle of whiskey and moved the glass to her lips drinking the contents whole and placing the glass back on the desk. Shiho shook her head slightly and poured more of the drink into the glass. Again the cellphone rang with the callers intent to annoy her enough for her to answer. Yet Shiho was beyond such childish nags. Right? The callers continuous calling was like a child repeatedly calling out their parents name for attention. That's what this caller wanted, attention. Attention to ramble and complain about certain actions Shiho has been involving herself lately. But who could blame her.
Since some time ago the masses have been calling for an end to the match on the island. The demanding of their children's safe return and an appeasement with the Americans. Plus the one who has been facing most of the flak was herself. Shiho wasn't surprised, she was the one who orchestrated the
whole ordeal to start the match. It was all her fault. It was her fault the match was taking place, her fault that Maho and Miho were away from home for so long, and her fault for the two girls abandoning the Federation, or in other words, her. Yet Shiho didn't blame them. she felt horrible. The essence of her mother pushed themselves back into her mind and she lashed out like she had always witnessed her mother do back when she was a kid. This realization, that Shiho had once again acted like her mother, sent her to drown herself with the drink she had in hand.
For the who knows amount of time Shiho's phone rang and she couldn't continue to hope that the caller would up and quit. It wasn't like her. Shiho downed the glass of whiskey in her hand and reached over to her cellphone. She accepted the call and placed the phone to her ears hearing a voice she hated.
"Finally you pick the damn phone up. I thought you were raised better Shiho!" The woman on the other end said. Shiho scowled at the comment.
"I would have been if Father was there in my life." Shiho said. The sentence she spoke seemed to anger the woman.
"Do not give me that tone! Your Father was nothing but a cowardly squatter who took advantage of me." The woman said. Shiho frowned, that was far from true. Her father was an accomplished shop owner and worked ridiculously hard.
"Do not speak ill of my father! I don't care what you say he was more of a parent then you ever could be. He's the reason I pursued my life and helped me get to where I am now." Shiho said.
"And where is that pray tell. Alone in a room with a drink in hand? You are so much like your mother its uncanny." The woman said. This ticked Shiho off.
"You are NOT my Mother; you will never be my mother! Its all your fault I live like this. I could have been happy living Tsuneo and my little girls, but you just had to get in the way!" Shiho yelled. Only twice was she ever so angry. The first was when she first left Tsuneo to go home to the Nishizumi manor, the second was when she first relieved her mind of her mothers influence and came to realize what she had done, not just to herself and her daughters but for Tsuneo to.
"He was weak and imperfect. That young business man I set you up with would have been a better, more economical choice of a husband." Shiho's mother said.
"I didn't want a life lush with money If I couldn't be with the one I loved! You just had to interfere and install all that fear into my heart! The fear of not being able to give a good life to my daughters, the fear of being kicked out by him for taking up space in his life, and the fear having to come to you in shambles begging to be allowed a place to stay! It was all you!" Shiho yelled again. There was no answer from her mother, only the faint sound her breathing. Only after a minute was there an answer.
"I've always wanted you to live the life any Nishizumi deserved. A luxurious life. One that you have at home. Without that washed up imbecile of a man." Shiho's mother said.
"Yet my children hate me. At least trying to patch things up with Tsuneo has let some light shine into my life recently." Shiho said.
"That's the thing. You left him, and now your crawling back to him. You feel like you've lost everything. Your father died six years ago, you want nothing to do with me, and you sent your children off to whats practically a war to satisfy your own meager ends involving Sensha Do. You feel like you've no one that loves you anymore, that's why your talking to him again." Her mother spat.
"No! Your wrong!" Shiho yelled.
"You want to feel his love for you again just to have the feeling back. you don't care for him, you never have." Her mother continued.
"Stop it." Shiho pleaded. She wanted to throw the phone away. the divulge herself from the words of the witch that ruined her happy life. Yet she couldn't. Shiho felt as if waves were dragging her down underneath of thick sea of loneliness. No matter how hard she swam she only saw the surface getting farther and farther away. never would she again reach the top.
The words of her mother echoing in her ear. 'A Nishizumi never quits' 'A Nishizumi never takes a defeat' 'A Nishizumi never loves someone less then them'. these words felt as if Shiho was being stabbed again and again. A void of muffled silence encroached onto her, filling her surroundings with nothing but darkness, coldness, and deafness.
"Your just using him to satisfy your own needs. Your needs to be rid of me, to have children, and to fell relevant." Her mother spat again. Shiho slumped back into her chair, eyes dilated and devoid of sense and reason, her body felt cold and docile, immobile even. What reason was there to understand? Her mother was right. She was always right. Shiho never loved Tsuneo, she never cared what her children thought of her, if they could win in Sensha Do and bring pride to the Nishizumi name and live a life they deserved then what did she care what they thought? It doesn't matter. It never did. Nothing matters except upholding her mothers will. Her mothers teachings. The same teachings she gave to her daughters. Nothing else mattered.
Warmth? That was the thought that emerged through Shiho's mind. Where could such a warmth come from? Where was it? How could she get more of it? Questions plagued Shiho's mind as she scurried around her mind to find the source of the warmth that gave her such a blissful feeling. Where was it? How can she get more? Why her? how can something so filled with light and love choose her? why?
Shiho's eyes regained focus. She still felt cold and stiff bit she could see again. She saw the surface of the thick dark ocean around her close in on her. emerging from the water she felt a deep breath fill her lungs like she never felt this before. How wrong she was. She had felt this before, and only one person had ever given her the chance to do so.
Shiho glanced to her right and her eyes widened. She had forgotten he was even here. He had gone to the relieve himself in the bathroom earlier. His black hair waved, and brown eyes pierced into her soul. Tsuneo glanced down at her, his face full of worry. He hand clasped onto her shoulder and his sounded like a preaching of hope and safety.
"Shiho, are you ok? Whats happened? Who are you talking to?" He asked. Shiho couldn't answer. Not with words at least. The best she could do was let the gathering tears fall and wrap her arms around him.
"Shiho? Whats going on? Who's with you? It better not be that man, you know he's nothing but a bum from nowhere." Shiho's mother said over the phone with enough volume for Tsuneo to hear. He snarled and gently took the phone from Shiho's hands who wordlessly snapped her eyes at him with worry about what he would do. Tsuneo simply smiled and placed his forehead on hers before placing the phone to his ear.
"Hello Chie. How nice to talk to you again." Tsuneo said. If anyone else were present they could feel the distain emanating from the phone.
"Tsuneo Matsuda. How disgusting can one be." Chie Nishizumi said.
"I'd take it this isn't a social call? More like an, crazy teacher calling in to remind her student that she will never be ride of her call, am I right?" Tsuneo said. The rage emanating from the phone was so intense Tsuneo tempted to just hang up, however he needed to get a point across, and he'd be damned if he didn't.
"How dare you. You have no right to speak like that to me young man. I can never see what Shiho see's in a no life like you." Chie spat.
"Maybe if you took the time to understand your daughter you'd know." Tsuneo stated.
"Maybe, but you were the ones who ran off and married so young. Its no wonder Shiho left you to come back home to me. Even with little Maho and Miho in tow no one ever would think that the two of you would survive with each other." Chie said.
"Our decision to marry right out of high school was just that. Our decision. You had no right to intervene the way you did. Going off on that tirade at our wedding, coming to our place unannounced, and even planting those fears into Shiho. You are nothing but a self-centered witch who cares not for anyone or anything in this world." Tsuneo spat. Chie's anger was radiating through the phone at this point.
"You Brat! Just wait till I get my hands on you!" Chie yelled. Yet Tsuneo was unfazed.
"I'd consider it a favor if you never called my wife again. Goodbye." Tsuneo hung the phone up and placed it on the desk. He managed to catch a glimpse of the whiskey and glass sitting next to a picture of the two of them with the girls. The picture was when the girls were young. Miho was on his shoulders and Maho was jumping into hug him causing him to lose some balance. Shiho was behind his placing her hand on his back worried he might fall over. Those times were different.
Shiho finally regained her composer and sat up straight again. She cleared her throat and glanced up at Tsuneo with an embarrassed glare. "What took you so long?" She asked. Tsuneo smiled and sat down on the empty chair next to her.
"Bathroom closest to here was locked, had to find a different one. I walked all the way to the other side of the building." Tsuneo said. His smile then turned into a blank stare. "Why are you drinking Shiho?" his question serious and mundane. He had asked this question many times already since the two of them had started talking again.
"I don't know why I have to explain it to you." She said closing the bottle and moving to place both bottle and glass away. Tsuneo, however, acted faster and snatched the bottle away before she could put it away. "Hey!" Shiho jumped at him to get the bottle back, however he jumped away from her and
moved his hand further from her reach. Shiho moved to grab the bottle, but Tsuneo kept moving it out of her reach and began to move around the office smiling like a buffoon. Shiho grew a small smile on her face as she chased him around the office. He maneuvered himself to another side of a table to the right of the office putting it between himself and Shiho. She grabbed hold of the table and stared him down, faking to move to the left and right in attempt to get the jump on him. After a moment she went right. However Tsuneo went opposite, and she doubled back to follow him. He was always more agile, but she was faster.
Shiho moved quick and caught up with him as they reached the middle of the room. She grabbed him and pulled him down forcing him to his knees. She again reached for the bottle, yet he just barely kept it out of her reach. Pushing her weight onto him made Tsuneo fall onto his back, the bottle falling from his grip as he placed his hands-on Shiho's waist to brace her fall. As they settled Shiho made no attempt to move. She stayed, content with laying on top of him gazing into his brown eyes. He only smiled at her as she moved her hand and rubbed her fingers along his cheek. The two dared not move. The chance of this moment ending was to much for them to risk it.
Despite all that had happened in their earlier days Tsuneo still adamantly loved Shiho. Not a day went by that he didn't
spend at least a minute looking at the photo of them at the high school festival they went to together. Both of them so you and carefree. The feeling of her fingers on caressing his cheek reminded him of the days where the two would lay on the schools roof and simply enjoy themselves.
Shiho was still in love with him, she knew that. But either her pride or fear of her mother refused to allow her to say such. However with the feeling of his thumbs caressing her sides, in response to her caressing his cheek, plus the loving smile and gaze he gave her she knew he still loved her to. Yet one lone question resembled in her mind. Words he said to her mother just minutes ago.
"Tsuneo, did you mean what you said?" She asked. He raised an eyebrow.
"Which part?" He asked. Shiho glanced away before responding.
"When you told my mother that I was your wife. Do you still consider me that?" She asked. she dared not look him in the eye.
"We never finalized anything right? No divorce paper, or child custody court. I know you still have the ring I gave you." That last sentence drew her attention back to him. "You may not wear it on your hand, but I know you have it around your neck. And I know you regret leaving that day. I regret that I didn't try hard enough to stop you. But you know as well as I do that that tiny apartment was not well enough for two young newlyweds with two girls." Tsuneo said.
"I didn't care. All I wanted was to be with you. I could be living in a basement and I wouldn't care, you were all the girls and I needed." Shiho said tears appearing in her eyes again.
"Then, why don't we try again?" He said. His words confused Shiho but he elaborated on his meaning. "Why don't you we try to be a family again? You, me, and the girls. Just the four of us. No one else." He said. Shiho looked down again. Little in all her life was she surprised about anything. She knew the kind of guy Tsuneo was and she had a feeling that he might bring this question up at some point. However was she ready? Did she want to get back with him? Yes she did.
"I don't know why you still try, after I left you and cut contact with you." Shiho said. Tsuneo simply smiled and moved his hand to caress her cheek this time.
"You were under you mothers influence. You and I both know that she's a vindictive one. Now let me ask properly this time." He said sitting up and gazing at Shiho intensely. "Shiho Nishizumi, will you come and live with me again?" He asked.
Shiho smiled and nodded wrapping her arms around Tsuneo and giving a strong hug while receiving one in return. The two of them moved little if any at all. Until they were done with their hug they stayed near perfectly still. Once they broke off from the hug they gazed at each other again before closing in and pressing their lips against each other.
Not in a long time had these two been so happy. The two of them were so happy that they both began shedding tears, but they did not break their kiss. Shiho only pulled Tsuneo closer. She wanted more of him. She hadn't felt him in over a decade, and now she was going to leave that old and empty manor and live with the only one who ever truly understood her and her feelings.
Once the game on the island ended Shiho would go there, find her daughters, and apologize to them profusely. She never cared about what her daughters wanted when they were younger, but she would do all she could to finally have the family she yearned for.