"Jennie my black dress!"
"This is your black dress?"
"Well no then, I'm the only girl in this house!"
"Dang, Lisa, do you go clubbing or something because this dress is hot-""Lisa's too young to go clubbing idiot," Yeri says."Ugh, Yeri, my makeup!""What makeup? I never see you wearing any.""The makeup in your hand!" She passes me the makeup, pouting."Jennie my RJ plushie.""NO.""I will murder you if you don't give it to me now."
We both pull at the plushie, unaware of Yeri. She grabs a stool and reaches for the box at the back of my wardrobe. She pulls the box out, blows the dust on it, and places it on the bed. She starts pulling everything out of it, photo albums, letters, artwork until she reaches the bottom. She pulls out a heavy, handmade book, the title '99 reasons why I hate you.' She looks at Lisa who's still fighting with Jennie. The bottom is signed with a name, 'signed: JK.' She always thought there was something going on between the two. She saw the small glances he gave Lisa, how he was so overprotective of her when that boy Hyunjin showed up. She also noticed when they were texting each other at the sushi restaurant the other day, and how neither of them couldn't stop smiling after that. She's just about to open it when Lisa finally finds out what she's doing.
"Jennie- Yeri, hands-off, NOW."
She pulls the book closer to her, stubborn."NO."
"Give it to me."
"NO."
"Give it to me, please?" I ask desperately.
"Still no."
"You can't say no, because it's mine."
"And what's mine is yours."
"No, it isn't because it's mine."I quickly glance at Jennie, who's looking back through my clothes, and Yeri takes this to her advantage. She runs from the bed and across the room to the chair, holding the book high. I'm practically begging now.
"Yeri please, I'll do anything just don't read it.""Why? Is there something there that's naughty?""What? No, I've never even read it before.""Then there shouldn't be a problem." I forgot that Yeri can be such a sassy brat. I opt for a different way to get it. I shout instead."KIM YERIM I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DON'T GIVE IT TO ME I WILL TELL JENNIE ABOUT YOUR BOYF-"
"SO WHAT, I'VE BROKEN UP WITH HIM ANYWAYS."
She stands on her toes and flipping through the pages. She skips right through to the last page and I practically see her face change from mischievous to serious.
"Lisa, you weren't lying when you said you haven't read this?"
"He walked it in my face on the first day of school and I've never read it, okay?"
"You're not lying?"
"No!"
"Good."
Was what he wrote in there really that bad? And even if he wrote shit about me in there, I'm still holding onto it, even though I don't know why.
***
After eating out at that sushi restaurant, we had decided that on new years eve, we would go out to the annual funfair. If there are two things I hate the most it's ice and rides and that's the two things I've been forced to go to the past week. I've had a fear of rides ever since two years ago, when Jae forced me to go on a drop tower, and ever since then, I've been scarred. It was a dare and me being the stupid thirteen-year-old I was, I went on it, even if I was probably too short.
Unlike last time, everyone's come, and I mean everyone. Jimin, Ji Sung, Jin, Hoseok, Jungkook and Mi Sun, Tae, and Irene are coming to pick us up and we'll be walking from there. Jieun, Moonbyul, Yoojung, Boram and Jisoo are coming together since they live closer. Me, Yeri and Jennie end up being late, because Yeri and I were fighting for the book for a further half an hour. She persisted that I let her throw it away, and I persisted that I wanted to keep it. Jennie was the one who interrupted us halfway through our argument. I'm surprised she remembered.
"So what made you think it was a clever thing to be almost an hour late?" Jungkook asks as I wrap a scarf around my neck. I don't want to say why we were late so I make up an excuse. "Jennie set the pan on fire, I don't know how since there was nothing in it." Jungkook laughs, "You're horrible at excuses, at least it's better than your last one." I can't tell if he's being sarcastic or if he actually means it. Yeri who doesn't like lying doesn't say anything which is weird, seems she doesn't want to talk about what happened. But Jennie, won't let me use her as an excuse.
"I'm sorry, but don't use me as an excuse, they were fighting over some stupid book." I lock the front door and we start walking. "You, Lisa were fighting over a book? I swear when you see one, you run as far as you can from it." Jin laughs. "No, not a reading book, someone made it, I'm not sure, who made it again Lisa?" Yeri and I are shocked to hear that she even has an idea about the book, usually she's in her own world. "Yeri stole it from her and read it even though Lisa said not to, and then they both had a huge fight, I recorded the whole thing before I realized we were late." I hate her. "I'm going to send it to Jae." She adds as an afterthought. "You should've seen it, Lisa was so desperate for it, and Yeri-" Jungkook interrupts, "You aren't talking about the book I gave you?" Jimin laughs, "You still have it, I thought you would have shredded it to pieces." I should have. "No, I kept it, I want to know why he hates me, maybe I should make one for him, so he knows why I hate him." I stick my tongue out at him, and he does the same. "You two are like kids," Hoseok says. "We are kids," I say. "No you are teenagers," Jin says. "Doesn't mean I have to behave like one."
Jungkook changes the topic back to the book, "Why did you keep it?" He asks me. "Because I wanted to read it, but then I realized I'm too lazy to read, so I dumped it at the back of the cupboard, and yeah that's it." He furrows his eyebrows, "You shouldn't read it." Everyone else is having their own conversation, so only IJungkook and I are talking now. "Why not? It's mine now." Jungkook walks further and I stay behind to talk to the rest of them.
Yeri walks forward to Jungkook who's walking by himself and makes sure that no one's listening. "Seriously, whatever you want to tell her, you should say it in her face, not in a book." Jungkook stuffs his hands in his coat pocket. What Jungkook says next makes Yeri feel sorry for him.
"I wish I could tell her, but I'm too much of a coward, I already know that."
***
"I'm not going to lie when I first met you guys, I thought you and Jungkook were like friends," Jennie says. Jungkook doesn't say anything and it worries me. He's been so quiet lately, even when we went ice skating, he's usually loud and making sarcastic remarks that it scares me. He's just been so... distant. "We are friends of friends that's it nothing else," I say back. "Really you seem really close," Jennie says. "But we're not, okay, I don't like him and he doesn't like me, therefore we aren't friends." Jungkook finally speaks, "We're acquaintances, ok?" Irene whispers from behind me. "Acquaintances? Funny." We walk in silence for a few seconds before Mi Sun suddenly says something, she's either whispering to Jin or talking to herself.
"Because acquaintances have kissed, helped each other when they were sad, care about each other, have shared the same bed and known each other for almost their whole life. You know what? That sounds about right." There's another silence before Jennie deliberately starts speaking loudly like she hadn't heard what Mi Sun said.
Mi Sun walks up to me, "Shit Lisa, I didn't mean for that to be that loud, but seriously you need to stop lying to yourself." I know I'm lying to myself because once I accept Jungkook as a friend, I'll be able to accept anything, things I don't want to.
***
When we finally get there, we walk around, figuring what to do. Originally, everyone else was going to meet us at the entrance, but since we're almost an hour late, they already went in.
We've been arguing for almost half an hour now, mainly because I'm too scared to go on any of them. Yeri, Ji Sung, and Irene, and Jimin got fed up halfway through and went off themselves.
"I can't believe you are scared of rides." Jungkook says laughing."So what if I am?""I can't believe someone like you, someone who always acts so tough, is so scared of a ride!""Stop making fun off me!""You won't even go on the teacup ride!""You can go yourself, but I am not going!""It's alright babes, I'll hold your hand, if you're really that scared." He says winking, Jennie snorts and you blush. Stop Lisa!Taehyung coughs loudly, getting our attention. "You two idiots have been fighting for so long that everyone's left us." I look around, he's right, only me, Jennie, Jungkook, and Tae are left. Moonbyul, Jin, Mi Sun and Hobi have left. We walk past a rollercoaster, the color bright pink, the entrance a heart. Eww.
Girls are grabbing their boyfriends trying to get them to go on the ride. If Mi Sun was here I would drag her onto the ride with me, just to piss her off. And then I get an idea.
"Jungkook I'll go on any ride you want me to go if you go on that ride." He bursts into laughter, "You want me to go on that?" He says laughing. I nod enthusiastically, "I'll go on any ride you want me to." I say trying to persuade him. He doesn't say anything for a second considering my idea, "Alright then, if I go, then you have to go on the drop tower." The fucking drop tower, did Jae tell him? I'll go on the small one, he didn't specify. "And you have to go on the big one." He says reading my mind. "Then you have to go with Tae, okay? And you have to post it on Instagram, so everyone can see." Jennie laughs, "Yes, that photo is going to be blackmail material!" And that too. "I'm not posting it on Instagram." He says crossing his hands. "Okay then, you have to send it to the group chat, so us guys can see it."
Tae speaks, "He'll never say yes." Jungkook turns round to him, "Why not?" He shrugs his shoulder, " When Ji Sung and Jimin see it, they'll be annoying you for weeks." Jennie's wandered off to get some candyfloss. "But you'll be on there too." He says confused. "Yeah, but they won't care, because they know I like those type of things, they'll tease you because you hate all those sappy things."
Jennie returns with her candyfloss, "Lisa and I are going now." She says grabbing my arm. As we walk away, Tae and Jungkook also walk in the direction of the rollercoaster, so I can only see the back of them as they talk. I see Taehyung wiggling his eyebrows to Jungkook, and I overhear him saying, "Babes let's go." He says as he tries to hold Jungkooks hand. Jennie and I laugh at Taehyung as he annoys Jungkook further. He taps him on the shoulder. "Oppa, do you like my face?" He turns to Jungkook doing his iconic meme Jungkook stares at him blankly before saying, "What the fuck have I just witnessed." Jennie's laughing so much, she's practically crying. This is the content I signed up for. They're getting further away now, but we can still see them. Tae continues to annoy him. He runs his hand through Jungkook's hair, speaking in a high-pitched voice, "Oppa your hair is so soft, and you're so handsome, I wish you could be mine." He squeals up and down on the spot. "Remind me why we're friends again?" Jungkook asks him. "Because I love you oppa~" But he doesn't stop there, he grabs Jungkook by the chin, and puckers his lips, pulling him closer. Jungkook puts a hand between the two of them a disgusted look on his face.
"The shit I do for Lisa."
***
We wait in line, Jennie and I were wondering what Taehyung's doing to Jungkook right now. We've been talking for a few minutes before someone taps me on the shoulder. When I turn around, I'm shocked to see Hyunjin in the queue. "Are you stalking me or something?" He asks me. "Well technically, I should be asking you that, since you're behind me." He nods his head in agreement, "True." He turns his attention to Jennie, "You're her friend right?" Hyunjin says. "Actually, we're cousins, I'm from America," Jennie says. "You're from America? You know English?" He says excitedly. "No then." She says sarcastically. "Do you know what this means?" He speaks excitedly, "You know what I'm saying bro?" I have no idea what he's saying, but Jennie seems to understand. "You realize that I'm not your bro?" Jennie says back. "Your behavior is so... ugh!"Hyunjin suddenly says, and though I still don't know what it means, I find it so funny. He does it so dramatically, throwing his bottle on the floor in a rage, as one of his friends hold him back, as if he wants to fight.
We continue talking with Hyunjin and his friends, and it's only after a while that I realize the girl with the long wavy hair in front of me is Jihyo. She's by herself on her phone. I tap her on the shoulder and she turns around taking her earphones out. She looks at me confused before smiling.
"What are you doing here by yourself?" I ask her. "I came with Momo, but then she got too scared and ran off, and now she's getting high off candyfloss. She says as she points to the small candyfloss stand. "So you're going by yourself?" I ask shocked. "Yes?" She says. "And you're not scared?" She shakes her head, "Guess who I saw earlier, Yoojung and Boram and a few other girls, they were lining up for the Ferris wheel." The line moves forward. "Oh yeah, we were supposed to go with them, but we ended up late," I say. "Did you only come with her?" She says pointing to Jennie who's talking to Hyunjin. "No, I came with Tae, Ji Sung, Jungkook, Jin, you know the lot." She raises her eyebrows, "Jungkook?" She says half laughing. "Yes, he dared me to go on this ride." She turns around and I hear her saying, "Cute." That is not cute.
When we're finally near the end of the line, I remember when I went on this exact ride two years earlier and thinking it was the worst decision of my life, and thinking how stupid of a person I was to listen to Jae's dare. I guess I'm still the same stupid person. When it's our turn to get on, my stomach churns and I feel like throwing up, but then I remember how funny it would be to see Jungkook and Tae on the ride and I force myself to go on.
There're four seats on each side, so Jihyo sits on the end, Jennie next to her, then me and then Hyunjin. My heart is threatening to burst out of my chest as I sit. Everyone else is fine, smiling even. I remember Jungkook saying, "The shit I do for Lisa." It should be the other way round, the shit I do for him. And then I feel something, someone's hand. It's Hyunjin's. I turn around to him and he smiles. He squeezes my hand, "It's going to be fine." And weirdly, I'm a bit calmer than a few seconds ago. And when I speak to him my voice is barely a squeak. "I'm going to fucking die." And that's the last thing I say before the ride shoots upwards. Jennie screams and Jihyo continuously says, "Oh my god, oh my god, what the fuck." As we go up, I squeeze my eyes shut, hands holding onto Hyunjin's like my life depends on it. We stop at the top and I keep my eyes closed. Hyunjin whispers to me, "Lisa you need to open your eyes." I don't say anything. "Please." He says, and so I open my eyes.
You open your eyes for a split second, and you see the view of the funfair. You can see the lights and the people walking at the bottom, damn you're so high. "Holy shit," I say, my voice barely a whisper. And just as I say that the ride goes down and I scream loudly. Really loudly. I feel my hair slap me across my face. "Oh my flipping god Lisa, shut up, or else I'm going to throw up all over you!" Jennie says screaming. All Hyunjin does is laugh. Jihyo's reaction is the opposite. "Oh my god, this is fucking awesome!" How? This is hell.
When we finally get down, I don't say anything but stay in my seat, still holding Hyunjin's hands. I get off the ride eyes closed, breathing heavy. Hyunjin has to drag me. "Lisa are you okay?" Jihyo asks. No, I'm not. "I think she's died, she's not even opening her eyes," Jennie says. "Lisa?" Hyunjin tries.
"I am going to kill Jungkook," I say quietly. Before opening my eyes and storming off towards the exit of the ride. "Hey, if you're going to kill him, use a chainsaw!" Jennie calls after me. I'm going to make him lay on the tracks and get him run over. Is that too painful, or too painless? Eh, I need something more painful.
I find everyone at the entrance of the ride, waiting for us. Jihyo and Hyunjin leave, both of them going off with their friends and I wave both of them bye. When I get there, all of them are crowding around Jieun's phone. I hear Boram and Jisoo squealing. "Aww, that's so cute!" Boram says. What are they looking at? I then hear Irene laughing, "Look at Jennie!" And I hear Ji Sung said, "Wait, is that Jihyo?" And Jimin replying with, "I think it is."
"I want to see too." I say to Jieun, who gives me her phone and shows me the video. "We met with Jungkook and Tae right before it was you're turn to go on the ride, so we decided to video it." Oh right. I watch the video revealing Jennie her hands clasped together as if she is praying and Jihyo has her hands in the air, having the time of her life. The good thing is that no-one notices Hyunjin holding my hand since the videos taken too far away.
But obviously, someone has to.
Yeri appears out of nowhere a mischievous smile on her face. What has she done now? She looks at the video multiple times a playful smile creeping on her face but doesn't say anything. I love her so much right now.
But then someone has to spoil it.
"Are you holding that guy's... hand?" Moonbyul asks. Jieun takes a closer look. "Who's that boy?" Boram asks "Is he your boyfriend?" She asks again, as she looks at me with wide eyes. She starts shaking me, "Lisa your boyfriend is a handsome god, you never told me that." She pouts. "Who is he?" Jisoo asks. They're all crowding around me now, curious. I need my personal space.
"I am not dating him!" I say. Jieun raises an eyebrow. "Really?" She asks. "Then why were you holding his hand?" Boram whines. "He held my hand because I was scared," I say. "BUT WHO IS HE?" Jisoo asks.
"He's this boy she met at ice skating, oh and he's part of the football club that won against Jungkook's, their best player," Irene says. Boram looks so jealous. "I can't believe I missed this year's match!" She wines again, "I was this close to having him." She says. Dang, she looks near tears. Moonbyul and Jisoo both comfort a heartbroken Boram. She hasn't even met him.
"Listen I'll introduce you to someone else." I say. She immediately wipes away her tears. "Really? Is he hot?" That's Boram, boy crazy.
***
We end up asking a stranger to take pictures since we're all here. Yeri, being the smallest is in the middle and Jennie is beside her. I'm right behind, Mi Sun beside me and Ji Sung on the other side. On Ji Sung's side is Jimin, Jungkook, Jin and Tae and Hobi. On Mi Sun's side is Jieun, Irene, Moonbul and Jisoo. Yoojung and Boram crouch at the bottom. We take a normal one and then a funny one. We take the picture in front of the ferris wheel. Me and Mi Sun make a heart together as we take the picture. The man takes the pictures on my phone, so I end up sending the picture on the group chat, so everyone else can see it. Eh, it doesn't look that bad.
We decide to go watch the fireworks which take place on new years. We usually watch from our house, since you can see it pretty well from there, but it's going to be different watching it so close by.
I stop walking to tie my shoelaces. My cold fingers are numb, so it takes longer than it should. I stare at them walking away. They turn the corner and disappear out of my sight. By this time, the entire funfair is empty and quiet. They've all gone to watch the fireworks due in a few minutes. It's their main attraction, obviously.
"I've never had to walk this much since that one time Ji Sung and I decided it would be a good idea to go camping, and we were reported missing for two days but all we wanted to do was walk to the end of the earth-." I mutter to myself.
I see someone bend in front of me, and it scares the crap out of me. But I calm down when I see the back of Jungkook's black hoodie. Jungkook?
"What the hell are you doing?" I ask. He kneels on the ground in front of me. "You said you're tired, so I'll give you a piggy ride." He says turning his face towards me. "I don't trust you," I say frowning. "Then you'll have to walk even more." He says as he starts to stand. "Wait!" I scream before jumping onto him, swinging my arms around his neck and putting my legs around his legs.
He groans as he stands up, "For such a small person you're so heavy." He says. I smack him. "Thanks," I say sarcastically. He starts walking and we're silent for a few minutes. "What are you thinking about?" He asks. "Just that time you gave me a piggy ride when I was drunk." He stops walking for a second but carries on almost immediately. "Oh." He says scratching his neck awkwardly.
I quickly take my phone out of my jeans pocket, to break the awkward tension. "Do you like the picture, it's nice isn't it?" I say showing the picture that we took a few minutes earlier. I put my phone in front of him, maybe too close. "Are you trying to blind me?" He asks. "But is it nice?" I ask again. "Of course." He says. I zoom into his face, Taehyung has an arm around him. "Aww that's so cute," I say. He zooms into me and Mi Sun, "Aww that's so cute." He says mimicking me. "I hate you Jungkook, can't you be nice for once?" I say. "Me? You're the one who's not nice." He says.
"So what about the photo?" I ask. "What?" He says. "The one with Taehyung," I say. I can tell he's blushing even if I can't see his face. "Tae's got it, he'll send it later." He adds on "You're so cruel." I fake gasp, "Me? You told me to go on the drop tower when you know I'M SCARED OF RIDES." He moves his head. "Stop screaming in my ear." He says.
We talk on the way to the firework display, we're still pretty far away but we can hear people counting down. "We're going to be late Jungkook!" I say angrily. "Chill." He says. But we're too late. So we start to count down from where we are. "3! 2! 1" HAPPY NEW YEAR JUNGKOOK!" I scream into his ear purposefully. I also say it a bit too enthusiastically because I manage to fall off into a puddle soaking both me and Jungkook into water. I'm about to kick more on him but the fireworks starts, we stare at the for a few seconds, before Jungkook grabs my hand running toward the crowd. "We're going to be late Lisa!" He says mimicking me again.
I'm in a daze as he drags me towards the crowd and I don't know why. I find myself looking at our hands linked. And for my reason, my heart starts beating so fast, I think it's going to burst. Why am I thinking so much about it? If he doesn't think so much about it, then I shouldn't.
Yeri POV:
I see Jungkook and Lisa enter a few minutes after the fireworks start. Jungkook's weaving throughout the crowd, Lisa behind her, both hands linked. I raise an eyebrow. "What are you doing?" Lisa asks him. "You need to go to the front." He says. "I don't need to." She whispers to him. "Why?" He says. "I can see from here." She says giving him a face like are you stupid? "Oh yeah." He laughs, and they stay put where they are, right in front of me. They're both silents for a second as Lisa watches the fireworks, but he doesn't, he looks at Lisa.
I decide to analyze him. When Lisa turns towards him he quickly turns his head looking searching the crowd. She looks up again, watching the fireworks. Jungkook fiddles with anything he can, the zip of his coat, his phone, his hair, he's nervous. Soon people start to talk, so it's not as silent as it was before. He turns to Lisa, "Hey, do you-" Lisa turns towards him, silencing him for a few seconds. I also notice something about Lisa. When she turns towards him, she stares at him for a few seconds, his eyes, nose, lips, everything, I notice her furrow her eyebrows a little. They both stare at each other before Lisa finally speaks."Mmm?" She hums smiling. "Do you- h-have you seen anyone else?" He stutters. Poor guys flustered. I also notice how he quickly changes what he wanted to say originally. "I don't know, maybe they're near the front, they came earlier, didn't they?"
They talked in hushed voices, even if everyone else is loud, it's almost like they're flirting with each other. They're comfortable with each other, but at the same time, they're both nervous. I notice Lisa smiles the whole way through, she never does that with anyone, usually, it's sarcastic remarks and dirty looks. They also keep eye contact when they speak and to be honest, it's very intimate, anyone would mistake them to be dating.
They continue watching the fireworks, and I see something else, Jungkook's hand. He fiddles with it, almost like he wants to do something. I notice as he finally gathers the courage to do what he wants to. His hand slowly draws closer to hers. He takes a deep breathe when their hands are close. Take your time, Jungkook, it's not like I'm waiting. His hands brush Lisa's, come on before he pulls away quickly. I am going to bury a mountain on top of him, alive. Why didn't he just do it?
But to be honest, he looks angrier at himself, than I am. But I understand, he's scared that Lisa will reject him, that she doesn't like him back. And I don't think she knows, either that, or she knows but won't accept it. Honestly, I feel kind of sorry for him.
I look behind me, to see if anyone else has noticed. Jennie's too busy taking videos of the fireworks to notice. Mi Sun and Hobi are both talking to each other, laughing. And as I look at everyone else, they're all oblivious, not even one of them notice.