𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐫𝐲 [𝐡.𝐬]

22. without, love

become the warm jets- current joys

no perspective-

harry styles brushed the long shiny hair of Fiona monez on the bed, something he's never done- except for one person and that was blood-related.

the soft bristles hitting against the scalp of Fiona felt so good, she wanted to thank harry but the words just wouldn't come out. she was too tired, too tired to fight, too tired to talk, even blink.

she couldn't captive what was going on in her life, she didn't know what was real and what wasn't. she questioned her existence all night as harry held tightly onto her fingers. she questioned everything- her love for her parents, her parent's love for her.

She felt terrible and guilty that harry was doing all these kind things for her- she couldn't help it tho. she felt as if she was just a rag doll. Something new hitting her in the face like a little child throwing their doll everywhere.

There were so many surprises happening in her life every single month she simply could not keep up with it. She couldn't keep up with her studies and taking care of her siblings while getting raped at the same time..so she had to drop her favorite class.

she barely passed high school- and that was only because she did the only thing she only ever knew..and that was sleeping with a teacher just to get an A in math.

getting kidnaped, getting beat, choked, shot, then getting told that her father she thought died in her arms was just a block away from her.

she felt stripped, stripped that someone that she didn't know knew more about her life than she did.

as for harry.

showering her, cleaning her, brushing her hair- he finally felt needed. he liked the validation and need-ness he got from Fiona.

he had it once...and once only.

he felt good about himself, he thought this was his redemption arc from killing innocent people.

helping a depressed woman, become a nice person- he thought this would be enough to be sent to the 'good place' whatever that may be.

harry didn't believe in heaven or hell, but he did believe in good and evil. his dad was evil, but his mother was good.

his mother was an angel sent from heaven.

when harry was a kid he saw horrible things that his father showed him, he thought, 'why would my mother- an angel, be with someone so evil?'

the older he got, the more his mother stayed he thought, 'if that can happen to my evil father..that can happen to me' so he kept doing bad stuff. kept killing, kept torturing, kept selling. only because he thought.

an angel is going to come down and be with him.

like his mother and father.

the only thing he didn't know was that- that wasn't love. it was hatred and fear that was keeping the relationship the evil father and the angel mother had.

so he stayed, he stayed with his father as his sister Jamie and mother left. left to find more than this, more than killing and evil.

they went to find good.

the more harry stayed..the more he realized he was never worthy of love. he would never find someone like his mother- he never wanted to he gave up.