Amberian (Gods of California I)

Chapter 12: Medicine

Her unwitting visit to Sunderland had flown under the radar but skipping school to go see a doctor wouldn't go unnoticed. Soon, everyone would point ant laugh at the crazy bitch who probably belonged in an asylum, and she'd be powerless to stop it.

She felt weak. Maybe she should've just stopped trying and trained herself to just deal. She'd heard a story once about Thich Quang Duc, a Buddhist monk who'd burned himself alive without even flinching. What was her problem? Two shitty night's sleep and she was crying to mommy. It was pathetic. Piteous.

Why'd she even care about sleep? When she was sleeping, she would dream, and the dreams would be worse than reality. 

There was nowhere. No place in the world for her to exist. Not even in her own mind.

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In the urgent care waiting room there were fake orchids and lavender blossoms on end tables littered with magazines. She'd been nearly asleep by the time her name was called and she told her mother to stay behind so she could embarass herself in private.

She hoped she wouldn't have Doctor Sebastian again.

Doctor Sebastian was kind of a prick.

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Aaron Khaja looked like the lead singer of System of a Down and Ally internally laughed her ass off when he introduced himself as the doctor.

"You have an appointment," he said as she stopped her pacing about the room. She couldn't tell if it had been intended as a question or if he was just one of those dudes who liked to state what was going on.

"Uh, yeah, that's why I'm here."

"You sit there," he pointed nowhere in particular, but she sat on the exam table, figuring that was the only logical place she could.

Doctor Khaja went to his computer and typed something urgently into a word processor. Not all of his words seemed to even be in English.

Ally drummed on her knees. It felt like he was giving her some kind of test. Nobody was so oblivious on purpose.

If there was something truly important he'd had to finish, she didn't understand why he'd even walked in. She wasn't sure she was in a position to determine normality, but it definitely wasn't the clueless, almost disrespectful disinterest he was showing her.

She cleared her throat, but he continued to ignore her. Memories of being small flooded her mind, when she'd do almost anything to make her parents notice her.

After clicking twice with fervor on his mouse, something printed, and after a quick glance at the paper, he handed it to Ally without even looking at her.

"Your pharmacy can get this for you."

Ally saw it was a prescription for something called 'Ambien.' Before she could even ask him what it was, he was gone, and the door closed behind him.

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She stayed in the car listening to a song called 'Low' on the radio. Trying in vain to remember the artist behind it before changing the station to country.

"Your cheatin' heart..."

Shuddering, she smacked the dial and the music stopped.

Dad loved Hank Williams. He had every one of his records in the closet. 

Like smelling coffee at 4:30 in the morning, she always felt safe whenever she heard the familiar twang of Hank Williams or Emmylou Harris. She recalled rides home from school, hearing a man with a voice like midnight sing about rings of fire and outlaws.