Amberian (Gods of California I)

Chapter 4: Smashing Pumpkins

Ally woke and peered out the window. Outside in the street were the rotten remains of a dozen entities named Jack, scattered about like the victims of a massacre. 

When a car ran over the trail of entrails, Ally recoiled from the window, back into the darkness of her room. 

It was Saturday and she didn't feel like doing anything.

She felt different.

Her heart would thump with violent force every fifth or sixth beat. Each time would nearly bring her to tears and make her consider waking her mom. 

She probably wouldn't believe her, and would just tell her to calm down, which wouldn't help and would just make her look stupid.

The clock read 8:00 AM on the dot.

There were no messages on her phone. Not from Ethan. Not from anyone. Her mind filled with a thousand unintelligible songs at once.

Did I waste Halloween?

Ethan had said it hadn't gone as planned, but that he'd still had fun. Was it a lie? And what was with mom barely saying a word to her the entire night?

THUMP

Fuck!

She paced about the room, reaching for the doorknob several times but never touching it. There was no way she was going to let herself cry. Not again. She didn't have any tears left, and the whining was starting to become pathetic.

THUMP

Okay I'm actually having a fucking heart attack!

She reached for the doorknob again and finally turned it.

__

Mom wasn't home, she never was.

Ally thought she could call her. Maybe just talking shit out would make her heart attack go away and give her a moment's peace.

Something deep in her mind told her she was imagining it. That the palpitations were wrought by stress and overthinking in some kind of sick symbiosis. But she didn't trust the voice. It was never right.

The square patterns on the designated couch blanket were clearly defined. Perfectly distributed along the surface of the cushions. For a moment, focusing on such things steadied her and made her stop shaking. The knitted quilt made everything right in the universe, and her eyes fluttered closed, and her world became still.

THUMP

Fuck! How do I call 9-1-1?!

The sky was dark with grey clouds that broke high like mountaintops giving view to a vast, ashen sea. It was going to rain. And soon.

__

Jen smiled in a way she had so many times that lines had formed at the corners of her mouth as two truckers entered the diner and took a window booth. She picked up two menus and headed over to them, masking her distaste of the pungent tobacco smell that was prominent in their general vicinity.

"We've got burgers and breakfast but not necessarily in that order," she said, placing the menus in front of them.

"I can read," the burly man in the flannel said.

"I can't," said the other, looking to his friend with eyes of confirmation to the knowledge he hadn't yet shared while nodding confidently.

Jen's lips finally flattened, and a quip came to mind, but it never took full form, so she just walked away chuckling to herself as her cellphone rang on the counter.