Whistle over the waves. {BXB} [COMPLETED]

45. Madhav

There is no need to see him. Not anymore. My father lost his ability to care long ago. So it came as a shock when he actually bothered to talk to me.

As I searched for my diary, still in a daze from the shock of seeing my brother and Sakshi engaged, I found nothing in my room. I walked into his study, there he sat, like always, silent and pensive.

He looked older than I have ever seen him,
It feels strange, to know that your parents are mortal,
He noticed me,
"Oh, you know the way here?"
I ignored him.
"What are you looking for?"
"My diary... it isn't in my room."
"In the black cabinet, second rack, behind the red book."
And he was right,
It was there,
Preserved perfectly.
Hidden secretively, why?
"Why here?"
He smirked, his wrinkles dulling his face.
"It is my house... I can do whatever I want..."
"I know. I'll be out of it soon...."
"Becoming a Sen. I see."
"At least they will protect me."
"I protected you. I always have. Don't you dare say otherwise...."
"Yes...yes... all those years when your son was on top of me, where was your protection?" I tried reining the hatred in, "Then you had me sent to that hell."
"He was punished too."
"With what? A financial prison? That is it right? Do you know the prison I live in everyday?"

He looked away.
"I did my best... I... it wasn't as if I was born knowing how to be a father..."
"Then why have children? Why did you bring me here? I didn't ask to be born...."
"We wanted you! We wanted you but then she.... I planned everything with her in sight and then she wasn't there..."
"And how is that my fault Dad?"
"Do you think it is easy for me? To look at your face, your eyes and see her and see what I don't have...." he snapped at me, his eyes watering.
"So you abandoned me.... what was my fault?"
"Nothing was... I... I tried fixing everything... I still want to...."
"Fix it. Send him to prison. Send him away."
"I cannot... I cannot..."
"Why? Why dad why?"
"Because she loved him. He was her favorite... she made me... once she knew she was going, she made me... she made me promise that I will...."
"Always protect him... what about me?"
He said nothing.
"Did anyone even want me? Did you?"
He said nothing.
"But Aarav and..."
"The Sens are murderers. People who rule with brute force. I don't just manage portfolios for them. Power has a price Madhav, and it is not the powerful that pay it..."
"From a family of pimps to a mob. I don't mind it much..."
"I'm not a pimp Madhav. I tried my best to do what I could..."
"Yeah you did. I should get going..."

I took my diary and began to leave when he spoke up, "She did not want to have another child, I did. I thought we would have a little girl. I wanted You."
I tried to smile,
But tears didn't let me,
His face was less my father's and more of a life, that I was denied.
I left.

When I reached the room,
Pain came flooding,
It is as if,
Every suppressed sensation rebelled and arrived,
To tear me apart,
Physical, mental, emotional,
Needles ran through my brain as I tried to comprehend,
He. Is. Engaged.
He will marry Sakshi.
He will escape.

The tale begins again,
When I was 18
He thought it would be worth a try, to kiss me, to reopen our little secret....
I retreated,
I tore my wrist open in angst,
And like a dark guardian spirit, my father placed a curse on him,
His greatest wish,
Money. Power. Success.
Was taken from him.

He was bound in a slave contract, the price for his innocence. To live on an allowance, to work full time, in travel operations for the firm. To have no part in the inheritance unless he married.
And the inheritance shall go to his wife,
If my father saw her fit.

When he signed the contract,
Scared and guilty,
He didn't realise what my father was setting him up for.

He works but doesn't earn.
He is an heir with an illusory inheritance.
His dreams have been castrated.

But now,
He has a chance,
Sakshi will soon win my father over. She is perfect like that.
He will soon be free.
And I will be stuck,
Watching them live happily,
If I tell her the truth,
She will leave,
And she won't keep quiet,
She won't.
They will come for him,
Then they will smell the blood on me,
Then they will trace Aarav.
If I stay mute, I torture myself beyond mend,
If I speak,
I crush my house of cards.
There are too many skeletons in this closet,
One wrong move and the bones will all tumble out.

And yet I know exactly what to do.

"Mom... I... I'm so sorry that I have been avoiding coming out... I..."
"It is ok Madhav... now tell me what really happened? Suraj left for work. You can tell me."
"You have read the files. My brother is in town, it traumatized me to see him again.... but that is not why I wanted to meet you..."
"Son... I'm so sorry about that... then what is it?"
"Aarav... he is... the... that side is rising.... it is very close to the surface.... I try to cool it down but I believe sooner or later... he will do something.... something reckless... I need to get him away from here... from my family mess, I need to get away too... I..."
She stands up from her chair and sits next to me, her face riddled with worry, "What do you suppose we do?"
"New York. We met there. He loves the city. The speed of the city and distance will..."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes mom. He will be happy there, I guarantee you that... let me take care of him... I won't let him become the monster we fear him to be... I promise you."
She nods. A defenseless mother, so trusting.
And I mean it,
I won't let Him kill my brother.

Aarav has begun the preparations,
I have called Ruelle,
She has some classes freed up for me,
Hanif and Matteo have begun finding a housekeeper,
The Monroes have already arranged an apartment for us.

A life, one of happiness and love,
Is just within reach,
All that is left,
Is farewell.
And debt, to be paid and collected.
Promises that are to be willed into fulfillment.

"Sakshi?"
"Madhav! Madhav I have been calling you for so long! I have been visiting you everyday! Why doesn't he let me in... I need to see you, I need to talk to you..."
"Sakshi I'm leaving India soon. I need to meet you before I do. Come here tomorrow around 5."
I don't wait for her to reply before hanging up.

I have run for so long,
To and from this well of black truth,
All these years,
I have tread the grey line,
Now it is time to step into the ivory haze.
It is time.