Whistle over the waves. {BXB} [COMPLETED]

25. Aarav

I open my eyes. I splash some water again. I look horrible. Pale and tired. I don't want to look at the mirror but I cannot avoid it either. This is not what I expected.

Sakshi.....

How can something like this happen to her? The bold woman who fought back at the hospital, who has come all this way for her friend, who reminds me of my mother, how, just how can she refuse to fight for herself?

The guilt is catching up with me, I've almost bullied Sakshi's truth out of them, I've used Madhav's history as a means to keep him here, I've done all of this in the name of protecting him but am I doing it right?

Maybe. Maybe not. But I'm the only one doing anything. His father hasn't even tried. They've given up on him. He himself has. I cannot bring myself to do the same. I cannot seem to give up even though there are multiple reasons as to why I should. But I cannot. It is illogical and I'm well aware of the fact that avoiding logic only ever complicates everything but I cannot do it here. It is as if my brain shuts down when it comes to him. It would be so easy, to let him go, to find someone else. Life would go back to what it was before him.
But do I really want that?

I wipe my face and go downstairs. I find Sakshi alone in the garden.
"Hey" she says.
"Hey. I....I'm sorry for that...I..."
"It is ok Aarav. Come sit with me."
I do. We don't speak. We sit in shade as the afternoon ebbs and flows. The sun is all light and no heat today.
"Sakshi...can I ask you something?"
She nods.
"'Is that man threatening you or something? Is that why you haven't reported yet? If that is the reason then I can help..."
"No. Nothing of that sort. I'm being honest. No one is threatening me. Not any person at least."
"Then why?"
"Because I don't remember anything Aarav. Nothing from that night. All I know is that I was drunk. As the victim, my testimony cannot be 'I had scotch and then 0'. They will tear me in the police station before it even reaches the court. I won't kid you, 3 years ago when I broke off my engagement, it screwed me up. I've only been in casual relationships since, even brief sexual encounters. If I report, it will all come to light. This is a different world than where I'm from. My mother is still in that town in rural Kerala. She won't take it well. God knows what she will do because she values her pride more than anything and her pride is Me. My achievements. I'd rather stay silent than see her be ashamed of me. I know it is wrong....but...I..."
"Don't you feel angry? Like don't you want to go and murder the man who did this?"
"Yes."
Her eyes are red around the corners. Hot tears spill down her face. Her lip quivers. She is enraged and she has no one to pour her rage into.
As twisted as it is I can understand it.
I'm angry too. I'm angry about a lot of things. I'm bursting with rage which has no ground to rain on. It is a treacherous place to be in.
I want to know who this man is, this man who has rendered Madhav incapable of being with me. I want to find him.
And eliminate the problem.

"Sakshi. I need you to be very honest with me. Madhav told me that there is a man who he is bound to. Someone who somehow stops him from fully committing to me or anyone. I want to know who he is."

"I don't know Aarav. I really don't. If I did I'd have told you by now."

"Ok ok. I believe you. Then tell me why the two of you were not in touch for two years. What happened?"

"Three years. I.....oh god...I can't say this. I'm sorry but he has to be the one to tell you...I cannot."

No. This can't happen. She can't clam up now. I need to get it out of her. I need to know everything there is to know.
"Sakshi you need to be smart. You are telling Me. I'm his boyfriend. I'm the only one that he has dated, you said it yourself. You can trust me, you know that. You're telling me nothing that he won't tell me himself. It will take time but he will tell me. If you don't tell me now it will cost us time. Valuable time that we can use to help him."