𝐀𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐨 𝐎𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤

𝓱𝓲𝓼𝓸𝓴𝓪

You hear some ruckus from outside as you get ready for bed. Now feeling off, you stay up and somewhat alert...thank god you did. The loudest knock imaginable hits your front door. You run to the door and whip it open. "What the hell- Hisoka?"

"Hi dear~♡︎" You blink a few times completely confused. "Come here, I want a hug~" The jester whined at you taking your wrist into his hand.

As he softly pulled on your wrist you ask, "are you drunk or something? You're slurring your words."

"No! I just want hugs...maybe even some cuddles too~♡︎" Hisoka's hold was suffocating as he pouted and held you to his warm stone-like chest. It was snowing and you have man crushing you on your front stoop.

"Could we go inside at least? I'm cold!" He looked down at you and picked your body up, walking into your house, shutting the door and rushing you to the couch. Hisoka put you in his lap as he sits down with his arms around your chest now.

"You can let me go now," you roll your eyes.

"No~♡︎" He childishly replied with a wide smile on his face. He heard you sigh and rubbed his cheek on yours then kissed you. "Oh, don't be like that! You love me, don't you?"

"Oh come on! Quit being weird and let go!" You whined, trying to get out of his grip only to be held closer, which you didn't think that was possible.

"No, let's stay like this for a while~♡︎"

𝓬𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓸

Chrollo was drunk off his ass and thought to see you. Walking to your place, he thought of what to say; a mental script that would be used to help him not look like he is as intoxicated as he was.

Finally arriving at your place, he stumbled to the door. He knocked as casually as he could.

You hear the knock at check the time...who the hell knocks on your door at 2 in the morning? You get out of bed and use your fingers through your hair to make it look presentable at least. "Uh...hello?" There was nothing there but you know you weren't hallucinating.

"It's so warm in here!" You hear Chrollo moan in comfort as you turn to see him already in your living room...but how?!

"Ch- I mean boss- why are you here?"

He turns to look at you, 'fuck I didn't think of anything to say about that...how stupid!' After a minute of blankly staring at you, he turns his head away and finally says something. "I needed a place to stay. I hope you, um, don't mind taking me in?"

You deadpanned. 'His back is turned to me and he's slurring his words...he's drunk.' You sigh as you go into the kitchen, making him something to drink. "Sit down, make yourself at home, etc. I'll make you some tea."

"Thank you," was all he could say...you knew already? Chrollo's way with words completely slipped and so did his composure, apparently.

He sat on the couch observing you. You, on the other hand, got his tea ready and walked to the table across the couch. "I'll get the guest room ready-"

"N-no...I mean umm..." his blush consumed his face as he tried to do some damage control. 'What the hell do I say?! Oh god she's on to me, what do I do?'

"You wanna sleep on the couch?" Your brow furrowed as you tried to figure out what he wanted.

"I- uh...?" You sighed. "I just thought to sleep with you...I don't mean it like that! B-but uhh it j-just seems easier?"

'Slick, Chrollo, very slick.' You held back some laughter at his fruitless attempt at trying to make sense. "Alright, drink up then we can head to bed." All he did was blush more and nod.

What a mess...

𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓾𝓶𝓲

It took three bottles in a row of the hardest liquor Hisoka could have found. Illumi's slurring of words and Hisoka's laughter put the situation very clear to you.

"Oh hi there, doll face, didn't think to see you here~♡︎" Hisoka tries to be his normal flirty person...but it fell flat.

"You're in my house." You say point at the couch that both men were on.

"Oh...right~" Hisoka giggled for a while and Illumi started to as well. You were speechless.

"Y/n, dear, could you get some more for me?" Illumi tries to say as he looks to you with his empty glass in hand.

"Sure." You say as perky as you can and take the cup...you're putting water in, he wouldn't notice the difference anyways. You add a droplet of liquor in to look like you were pouring it but then took a water bottle and poured the rest of it in.

You were right, he didn't notice. They both passed out on your couch a few minutes later.