Carmuel oneshots

I love you

I was listening to 'I love you' by Billie Eilish and it made me think about the scene where Samuel told Carla he loves her. So I decided to write their timeline in s3 with the lyrics of the song.
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"I love you."

It's not true, tell me I've been lied to

Carla needed a second to comprehend what he just said. Somehow she couldn't believe it, she didn't want to believe it. The nerve he has, telling her this at school while begging her to confess. Why does he think to have the right to tell her that, to make her feel this way again. She hated that even though she was furious with him, he somehow managed to make her heart jump.  Somehow, her physical reaction was to instantly say it back, but her mind stopped her. Even if she felt that way, she knew that this could never be something. She was too fucked up, he was too naive, there was no chance. So she needed this to be a lie. After she let her feelings take over for a second, deciding if they had a chance, her brain finished the thoughts. The image of him standing in the police station, completely fine, except for a few scratches, made her blood boil again. He played with her, toyed with her emotions and now he tells her he loves her. Now that he got what he wanted? That didn't sit right with her.

She got so angry at the fact that he used her, tricked her and was now telling her what she wanted to hear before he fucked up her whole life. If he hadn't done that, than maybe their chance was bigger, but now it was just a lost cause. She looked at his hopeful look, his innocent eyes, she hated them. Well, she loved them but not now, not when he wasn't to innocent anymore. She just wanted to slap that look off his face, so she did, with full force.

Crying isn't like you, what the hell did I do?

And there goes his heart. The slap wasn't really felt on his face, well he did feel it of course, but there was more of an emotional shock. He knew he shouldn't have blurted it out like that but he couldn't hold it in anymore. He needed her to listen, but this wasn't the best way, clearly.

"Only if I do as you say right? You'll toss me aside once I've done it!" She yelled in his face. She was clearly still mad about the whole missing story. He didn't know how to make her see that he didn't want to force her to confess that way, but it was the only option. And he's been trying to make it right ever since then but she wouldn't even talk to him.

"No it'll prove that you're the person I fell in love with!" He quickly responded, emphasizing the word love. He hoped she would just try to see it from his side. Deep down she knew that she needed to confess sooner and she was in absolutely no position to be mad, she did do what he accused her. And that was probably the worst feeling, she felt so guilty. She fucked up so many lives, now she had to pay for it. And the fact that Samuel still saw her as a good person, as someone he thought was worthy being with him, amazed her. This boy was so good, he was too good to her, and for her.

Samuel could swear he saw her eyes were glistening form tears. She was clearly struggling to hide it and it scared him a little. This didn't happen often and now he was the reason she was so lost that she couldn't even keept her facade up anymore. Crying isn't like her, he knew she felt like crying all the time but she never let herself. But right now, he saw she was trying to stop the flood, but some streams managed to break through her barrier.

Never been the type to let someone see right through.

She wanted to say something, get mad at him, but her mind went blank. He just said it again, love. And the fact that he had faith in her to do the right thing, to let herself be the real her, made her even more desperate. She had to make a decision that either way, was going to hurt the people she loved most in her life. She had to chose, family or love. It really was a cruel joke, these thing would only happen in movies. But the difference was that in movies, there would be a happy ending, while real life had no such guarantees.