I'm gonna explain more of Ellie because I feel like I'm gonna be confusing you more into the chapter so..... hopefully, this explains more about her.
Ellie always felt the need to impress Octavia, the need to always obey her no matter how much it affected her, and she always did what she was told Octavia just took it as a advantage. Sometimes she felt like she could never be her own person, not with Octavia around. As she grew older the more that feeling grew. Sometimes she'd cry at night knowing even if she tried disobeying Octavia she couldn't, she'd feel like a bad person who was weak. She needed Octavia. If she lost Octavia she would be alone... she didn't want to be alone, she was scared to be. She's more of a people pleaser, She criticizes herself often, felt like she was never gonna stop trying to please her mother. Some times she would have small panic attacks when Octavia wasn't pleased with her, she always thought one day when she slips up, everyone would act as if she didn't exist. When Madi showed up it got worse but at the same time pleasant, but Octavia didn't approve. Something changed in Ellie, nothing bad but nothing good either, and Madi caused that.
I'm so bad at explaining things if I'm not talking but I can't so this is the best I can write out explaining more about her.
Basically she has fear of being alone, basically auto-phobia, and the only reason she isn't yet because of Octavia who took her under her wing which causes her to always overthink it and awe her. If she doesn't and Octavia shows that she isn't even impressed one bit than she kinda like breaks down like she believes that Octavia will leave her to be alone because how weak she was.
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Don't hate me. Ik this story is kinda bad but it's wtv 😙✌️ a/n
