Trials and Tribulations [Chaelisa]

Chapter 72

Ten minutes later, Amy returned and informed Chaeyoung that Lisa had gone under sedation without any problems. “They told her to count backwards from ten once they’d flushed the anaesthetic through her line,” Amy said chuckling as she pulled up another chair so that she could sit beside Chaeyoung. “She only made it to nine before she drifted off to sleep.”

“Seriously?” Chaeyoung asked amused. “Wow, what a lightweight.” She commented laughing.

“You know you didn’t have to come with her today.” Amy said, smiling at her daughter’s girlfriend appreciatively. “I know how boring it can be waiting around in here. There’s not a lot to do.”

“I don’t mind,” Chaeyoung responded truthfully, putting Lisa’s book back on to the bedside table. “I’d only sit around worrying at home if I was there anyway. Besides,” she said meeting Amy’s gaze levelly. “Someone has to keep you company right?” Amy placed a hand on Chaeyoung’s and squeezed it, grateful for her kindness. “Can I ask you something?” Chaeyoung questioned tentatively, uncertain whether she was crossing some kind of line by opening up this particular topic of conversation.

“Of course,” Amy permitted. “You can ask me anything.”

“What was Lili like right back in the beginning?” Chaeyoung asked her. “I mean, when she first woke up…”

“After the accident?” Amy queried and Chaeyoung nodded. “Why do you ask?”

“I just…she doesn’t remember and I’ve always been curious.” Chaeyoung told her honestly. “She’s changed so much in the short time that I’ve known her but, I imagine that she must have changed even more quickly back then.”

“You and Jisoo haven’t spoken about it?” Amy inquired with a hint of surprise in her tone, imagining that Lisa’s best friend would have been Chaeyoung’s next source of information after her daughter.

“Jisoo doesn’t really like to talk about it and I don’t want to push her to if it’s too hard.” Chaeyoung explained.

“Well,” Amy started thoughtfully. “She wasn’t my daughter, not back then, not straight away.” She admitted. “It took months before I started to really see anyone that even remotely resembled the Lisa that I knew and loved.”

“Did she remember what had happened to her?” Chaeyoung probed inquisitively.

“No. Not for a long time.” Amy answered. “The first week after she woke up Lisa didn’t do much at all,” Amy shared with Chaeyoung, a contemplative look on her face. “She didn’t speak one single word, she just used to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. The most that she’d do is move her head from side to side and occasionally she’d lift her right hand, but, not with any purpose. It was almost like she was trying to figure out what it was.”

“Did she recognise you?” Chaeyoung asked. “No, I don’t think so.” Amy admitted sadly. “She’d look at me and there was nothing there, no recognition, no reaction, nothing. I’d speak to her and she’d gaze at me blankly. I don’t know where she was back then but it wasn’t here. It was somewhere else.” Amy paused for a moment to think back to those days, when she’d sat by Lisa’s hospital bed for hours at a time, her eldest daughter’s health her only concern. “It was about ten days after she first woke up, when I was sitting by her bed as I normally did just talking to her that she looked at me, a vacant expression on her face and she finally said something.” Amy divulged. “She said, ‘Mami?’ That was it, just that one word and it was so quiet that I almost missed it.”

“I bet you couldn’t believe it,” Chaeyoung commented, smiling at Amy’s openness.

“I burst out in tears,” Amy recalled, her eyes growing moist at the memory. “It had been so long since I’d heard her voice and all the doctors had warned us that she’d probably never be able to communicate again. They told us that she’d more than likely have irreversible brain damage and that she’d need full time care. Their most optimistic guess was that she’d be confined to a wheelchair, unable to do anything for herself. I remember when they’d first told me. I thought that if that was the best outcome that we could possibly hope for then I’d have preferred it if she’d died.” Amy met Chaeyoung’s startled eyes earnestly. “I know that makes me sound horrible but I wouldn’t have wanted that life for her. It wouldn’t have been living. My girl, she was so full of energy, so dynamic and vibrant. I don’t think that I could have watched her reduced to nothing, to not even a shadow of her former self. I think that would have been worse than not having her here at all, to just watch her endure her fate in silence, never quite knowing what she was thinking but always wondering.”