Trials and Tribulations [Chaelisa]

Chapter 28

“Lili,” Chaeyoung said, taking her girlfriends hand in her own across the table. They were sat together in the cafeteria at lunch the following Tuesday and Chaeyoung watched as Lisa ignored her lunch to stare across the room at Jisoo who was sat with Somi and Jennie.

“This is getting ridiculous,” Chaeyoung noted. “It’s been almost a week and you’ve still not made up with Jisoo…I thought that you’d decided to talk to her.”

“I did,” Lisa confirmed, averting her eyes back to Chaeyoung who was watching her puzzled.

“So…” Chaeyoung prompted confused, “what happened?”

“I happened,” Lisa said in response and Chaeyoung visibly saw the irritation etched across her face as she spoke.

“I don’t understand,” Chaeyoung admitted frowning. “Ever since I’d discussed it with you and my therapist last week I’ve been planning to talk to her,” Lisa explained. “It’s just that, every time I’ve tried, I can’t…”

“Lili I know you’re nervous about how she’ll react but I promise you, Jisoo will be fine.” Chaeyoung reassured her. “You’ll be back to mocking each other in no time, you’ll…”

“No,” Lisa interrupted in order to clarify. “I mean, I physically can’t.”

“Oh,” Chaeyoung replied finally understanding. “I see…” she said, not sure what else to say. Lisa groaned as she ran her free hand through her hair and looked back over at Jisoo.

“I tried to say ‘hello’ to her in the hallway yesterday,” Lisa admitted as she turned back to face Chaeyoung who was still watching her with interest. “All that came out was a few strangled noises,” Lisa explained. “I probably sounded deranged.”

“What did she say?” Chaeyoung asked, not for one moment believing that Jisoo wouldn’t have tried to capitalise on Lisa’s sudden attempt to communicate with her after a prolonged period of estrangement.

“She said ‘hi,’” Lisa shared her cheeks flushing slightly in embarrassment at the recollection of yesterday’s interaction. “Then she asked me how I’d been and if I was doing better.”

“Lili please tell me you answered her,” Chaeyoung pleaded, tilting her head in order to try and read Lisa’s face as her girlfriend dropped her gaze to the table and covered her eyes with her free hand.

“I couldn’t,” Lisa replied avoiding Chaeyoung’s searching look. Lisa shook her head slightly from side to side mortified by the memory. “I just stared at her for a minute and then when I tried to speak, nothing would come out,” Lisa told Chaeyoung. “Nothing, not one word. Not a single sound.” Chaeyoung made a sympathetic face and squeezed Lisa’s hand prompting her to continue with the story. When Lisa didn’t, Chaeyoung asked, “What happened next?”

“She asked me if I was alright,” Lisa finally said, lifting her eyes to meet Chaeyoung’s again. “I think she thought I was about to have a seizure or something,” Lisa went on thoughtfully. “I couldn’t speak or do anything so I…I walked off…” Lisa finished evidently frustrated with herself.

“Lili,” Chaeyoung said with a mixture of understanding and disappointment in her voice at Lisa’s admission. “You’ve been doing incredibly over the last week,” Chaeyoung told her seriously.

“I know,” Lisa agreed and Chaeyoung smiled at the words, pleased that she was starting to acknowledge her own achievements, the small victories that she’d won. “I really think that increasing my therapy sessions to twice a week has made a difference,” Lisa went on.

“I think the doctor increasing the dose of your antidepressants has helped as well,” Chaeyoung noted. “I know that you weren’t keen when they suggested it…” Chaeyoung recollected.