London born Gigi Lastra is struggling to make ends meet let alone make it big in the music business and make a name for herself. Working two jobs to keep her life afloat and provide for her family she's haunted by her past. That's until she meets t...
اوووه! هذه الصورة لا تتبع إرشادات المحتوى الخاصة بنا. لمتابعة النشر، يرجى إزالتها أو تحميل صورة أخرى.
*Major trigger warning
I've never properly spoken to anyone about my past relationship, it's too painful to bring up and I can't do it without wanting to throw up. Sofia, Bleu and Jacob know parts of it but not from me telling them. I tried to keep it from Anto because I knew he'd be upset but I'm sure they've probably mentioned things to him. Partly I don't want to tell them because I'm embarrassed, I was stupid, naive, weak but alternatively, it's just the sting and the replay of those years. I can't bear it. But I'm going to do it. I need to start trusting and I do trust Colton, he's always here for me and if I ever wanted to have any kind of relationship with him I need to open up to him. He may never feel the same way I feel about him but that doesn't matter because after today I would have been able to tell my story and bring light to the dark of it.
I get up off the floor shakily, his arms cage me so I don't fall. Colt towers above me as we walk out of the bathroom, the balcony doors off the bedroom show the sun half risen in the sky, signalling I had no idea how long we'd been sat on the floor for. A canvas of purple and orange paints the Chicago skyline, birds swoop low near the balcony and distant squares and rectangles dot past the hotel.
"We should probably get you some food first, you haven't eaten in hours," Colton says picking up the hotel phone, I don't say anything, I'm not even the slightest bit hungry, my stomach churns creating waves of nausea.
When the food arrives CJ sets it out on the balcony table, it's warm enough coming up to mid-June but I still feel a chill being in a pair of shorts and a jumper. He puts a plate of pancakes topped with fruit in front of me and digs into his own plate full of sausages, eggs and bacon.
"Alright I'm all ears sweetheart," He smiles lightly.
Okay, I can do this, its fine take it one bit at a time.
"Alright so... gosh where to start," I sigh, "My nightmares, they're about my last relationship... the reason I can't be in another relationship. I've had them for the last year and a bit. Sometimes they go away for a bit, sometimes they become frequent, like this week I've had three." My gaze drifts out over the city, " They're so horrible Colt, I feel like I'm back there. I can't breathe but I can't wake up from them. I just can't get away from it all." A sob wrangles past my lips and I drag my knees up to my chest suddenly feeling a chill.
"Oh sweetheart," Coltons picking me up off the chair and slides me onto his lap, wrapping his protective arms around me, I can't do this.
You need to let go of the past. Be vocal. Make some noise.
"If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have too." He whispers onto my neck, heating the skin. He's giving me an opt-out, I can just ignore it and we can sit here and forget this ever happened... but I can't, I need to do this. If I ever want to move on I have to be able to conquer this.
"No, I have to do this. If I tell you... that means he doesn't win," Tears run down my face as my voice weakens.
"Who doesn't win?" Colt's hands' cups mine and squeeze, he bends down and places a small kiss on my knuckles.
