deep love | 2

pre show troubles

a/n 

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J's pov 

"Sure" I say at the same time as Nick says "okay" and Joe says "I think we've practiced enough"

We all glance at Joe who seems slightly annoyed yet embarrassed. "How are we gonna rehearse when the other guys aren't here?" He says quickly.

"We can just play guitar first, then. J, you can practice with us." Nick says, shooting a look at his brother. "Joe doesn't want to" He says, turning his body away from his brother.

I see Joe's mouth open slightly but he closes it right away. He stalks away angrily as Kevin glances at Nick and then at Joe, who's closing the door behind him. Kevin lets him leave and turns his attention towards Nick.

"Nick..." He starts to say, but he quickly shuts up when he notices his brother has his head in his hands.

"I'm trying, GOD DAMN!" Nick yells, looking up. His eyes are glossy and he shoves his guitar case away from him angrily. I look at Kevin, shocked at his outburst. I'm unsure of what to do and I don't try to comfort him, I know he wants space. "I'm just trying to rehearse and get things back to normal but it doesn't work! I know J is trying and so I'm trying to put in effort too, but-" He struggles to find words and I see the frustration and pent up anger in his eyes. 

"I get what you mean" Kevin says quietly. "Trust me, Danielle and I are working on it too." 

It suddenly dawns on me that everyone was trying their best. Kevin and Joe were obviously shocked and hurt after the band's breakup, and I knew Nick was feeling guilty. But they all had one thing in common: they wanted our family to be there for each other. It was hard for Joe and Nick especially, but I knew they were doing everything they could. 

We're sitting in silence, Nick staring angrily at the ground and Kevin and I exchanging questioning glances. Finally Kevin nods his head towards the door and I stand up. "We're gonna get some water, we'll bring some back for you" Kevin says and Nick barely nods as both of us get up. The moment we leave the room, Kevin turns to me. We don't even walk away from the room, we both know we're only here to talk. "I feel so bad for him" Kevin whispers, cautious not to let Nick hear because he's right inside.  

"Me too" I murmur, leaning against the wall. "But we're all trying, aren't we?" I ask, but it's more of a rhetorical question. "Trying what?" My eyes widen as I look up to see my sister and Danielle chatting loudly, having come back from the bathroom. "Shh!" I place a finger to my lips in a bid to keep them quiet. They notice and they instantly frown. "What's wrong?" Leia mouths as she and Danielle approach Kevin and I. 

We step away from the door slightly and take turns to explain everything. "Wow" Is all Leia can say when we're done. Danielle is pretty shocked but she doesn't seem extremely surprised. I mean, what was surprising at this point, honestly? "So where's Joe now?" She asks, and Kevin and I shrug. "He went off to somewhere. He'll probably be back by the performance, though." I say. "We should let him cool off" Kevin says, and we all nod. "So what now?" I ask, gesturing towards the door. 

"We can try to comfort him, I guess. But he does need his space." Leia says, and I nod slightly and open the door. Nick is staring into space and when we enter, he turns to us, his eyes bright and slightly wet. I'm surprised to see him smiling. "You know I could hear you the entire time, right?" He says with a smirk, and my eyes widen as I glance at my sister. "I-" 

"I'm not mad" He sighs quietly, and I find myself smiling stupidly. "What?" He asks, and I shake my head. "Nothing" I tell him, but inside I couldn't be prouder. He'd definitely be angry if the same thing had happened weeks ago. I was proud of him, and how far he'd come. Leia hugs him and so does Danielle, followed by Kevin. "Why aren't you mad at him?" Kev asks quietly as he puts an arm around his brother.