deep love | 2

ending things

a/n 

hi so i basically just read through book one and i realised how bad my writing was in book one... i'm so sorry for the thousands of pov changes every single chapter and phone calls/ texts in italics.  

anyway i think (hope) it's alot better now... 

remember to comment, vote and save this story. 

enjoy! 

J's pov 

I wake up to the familiar tune of Pushing me away. 

Stop! Tell me the truth
Cause I'm so confused
Spinning round these walls are falling down and I need you
More than you know, I'm not letting go
I'm getting close, so take my hand
And please just tell me why 

I strain my ears to try to locate the source, before finally realising that it's not coming from outside the door- it's upstairs. I know that it's Joe singing- but why would he be upstairs and not in the bedroom?

I groan when I realise it's only 7 in the morning, but I force myself out of bed and tiptoe up the stairs, expecting Joe to be sitting on the top step and singing, or sitting in the hallway. But he's not- and the sound is coming from Kev and Dani's room. 

 I suck in a breath when I hear the voice on the other side of the door let out a sob as he repeats the verse. But then I realise something- Joe doesn't play the guitar- so why is there guitar music? 

That's when I finally start to piece 2 and 2 together- Kevin's playing the guitar, Joe's singing- they're dreading the band breaking up. 

My heart aches for the both of them, and I find myself feeling a little angry at Nick. I sigh and decide to give them some space, so I turn and head back to my room, lost in thought. 

"Jessica?" I look up when I hear a voice. 

Nick is standing at the bottom step, looking up at me. "Yeah?" I ask, walking closer to him as I reach the last step. 

"I-I just don't know what to do, the guys are upstairs singing- without me- and I feel so bad, but I-" Nick stops to catch his breath and I see a tear slide down his cheek. 

I go over to him, and he's struggling to keep it together. He stumbles backwards until he's leaning against the wall and sits down, putting his head in his hands. "It's okay to cry, you know" I tell him softly. 

We've had this conversation before- Nick doesn't dare to let his emotions show too much, and he already hates it when other people cry, let alone himself. 

"No it's not" He chokes out, trying his best to keep his voice steady but failing. I put an arm around him, not wanting to hug him because I know he hates people touching him- he doesn't even like sharing clothes with people. 

Deep down in my heart, I know that he desperately wants, and needs, to cry- but he can't bring himself to. 

I sigh and smile a little as he leans against me. "You wanna talk to them now?" I ask him as he wipes his eyes. 

Nick looks up, as if he's looking for an answer, and closes his eyes. 

"Is Leia awake yet?" He asks me, and as if on cue, she comes out of the room, rubbing her eyes and yawning. "What time is it?" She mumbles, but stops short when she sees her boyfriend sitting on the floor. 

"Are you okay?" She asks, sitting down next to us. I stand up to go, deciding to give them a little bit of space, and as I leave, I hear Nick whisper "thank you". 

Leia's pov 

"I hate this" Nick mumbles as he leans into me. "I hate not being able to cry." 

"No one's stopping you from crying" I say gently, interlacing my fingers with his.  

Nick sighs and stands up. "I needa go talk to them" He says, and I hear the dread in his voice. "Want me to come?" I ask him, and he nods. "I was waiting for you to wake up" he tells me, and I laugh. 

"They're playing all our old songs together upstairs" Nick mumbles. "I feel so bad"

I take his hand in mine and we walk up the stairs together. When we get to the top of the stairs, I feel Nick freeze, and I do too when I hear it- sobbing coming from inside the room. "I-I think I need to do this by myself" Nick says, his voice shaking a little. 

I wrap him in a hug and breathe in his scent. "You're gonna be fine" I assure him, ignoring the growing doubt in my mind. 

Nick's pov  

I knock softly on Kevin's bedroom door. Almost immediately, the singing and crying stops, and I hear one of my brothers sniffling.

"Who is it?" Kevin asks. 

"Nick" I say. 

"Come in." I take a deep breath and open the door.

I don't know what I was expecting- but both their eyes and noses are so shockingly red, and Kevin's face still has tear stains.  

I can feel both their eyes following me as I walk to the bed they're sitting on. Kevin puts down the guitar and looks at me. I gulp. 

"I know I told you I don't think we should do this together anymore, but-" 

"Why?" I'm interrupted by Joe. I look up and see his red eyes, tears now flowing down his cheeks again. 

"It's not the same again." I whisper, not meeting his eyes.

"No, I'll listen! If you don't think I'm listening to you- I'll listen!" He's almost begging me, and Kevin nods and looks at the floor. "Just please, don't do this." Joe's voice cracks at the end as tears continue running down his cheeks. 

"I've been doing this my whole life, I just want to try something new." 

"You get one taste of fame and it gets to your head, huh?" Joe glares at me through his tears, and I can slowly feel tears pricking the back of my eyes. "No, I-" 

Joe stands up and goes to the door. "Tell the fans. Don't talk to me again." And then he slams the door behind him.  

"Joe!" I can't even stop the tears that are rolling down my face. Kevin looks at me, and I can see some sort of sympathy written across his face, but he too, gets up and walks out of the room. 

I groan and bury my face in the pillow, trying my best to stop tears from coming- but then I remember Leia's words. No one's stopping you from crying. 

But as much as I try, I can't seem to let myself cry. Maybe it's the fear of embarrassment- who knows? Even I don't know.