deep love | 2

is it because i'm a celebrity?

a/n 

i have somewhat planned out the next few chapters haha :) 

if you have read book one, you'd know that sometimes, i write the pov of different characters in the same situation, but in different chapters. i'm going to be writing nick's pov in the next chapter.

please leave comments, it means so much! 

enjoy!

J's pov 

I hear Kevin leaving, and I walk into the room with Joe. As I wrap an arm around him before closing the door behind us, I can feel his whole body shaking. We both sit on the floor- we're still in Kev and Dani's room. I entwine my fingers with his as he lets out a breath. 

I stay silent for a moment, hoping that he'll tell me what's going on, but a minute later of us sitting in silence, i turn to see tears streaming down his face as he cries silently. 

"I don't wanna go solo" He gasps, struggling to breathe. "I-I want the band" 

Joe leans against the bed, before lying down on my lap, gripping tightly to the oversized sweatshirt I'm wearing. I run my hands through his hair, before realising that he's sweating. I sigh softly as he sits up and buries his head in the crook of my neck. "I thought you f-forgot about me" He breathes out, wiping his forehead.  

"Can I ask you something?" 

I force a bright smile and nod, hoping that he's not feeling too bad. "Sure!" 

"Do you like me because I'm a celebrity?" 

I'm pretty sure that my eyes widen to double their size. 

"What are you talking about? No! Why would you think that? I-" Joe stares at me, as if trying to see if I'm being honest.

"Do I act like that's why I love you?" I ask him, a million thoughts racing through my mind. Did he think our relationship was fake? 

He stays silent before blurting, "What if you and my brothers only love me because I'm famous and for who I actually am, because all I do is sing and cry and I cry too much so-"

He pauses to gasp for air and I almost laugh as I stare at him. I shake my head and lean against his chest. I can hear his heart beating fast and hard, and I feel him kiss my hair. I look up to see tears running down his face. "Hey" I say softly, "Look at me."

I can see a blush creeping into his cheeks as his gaze drops to the ground. "Joe" I repeat, and I gently pull him close to me in a sitting position. Finally, his eyes meet mine and I wipe the tears that are running down his face. "Tell me one thing I did that made you think I didn't really love  you" Joe looks like he's about to say something, but he stops himself and smiles a little, shrugging. "It's easy to lie, you know?" I have a feeling he's talking about his brothers and not me. 

He stares at the floor again, and I cup his chin in mine and push a kiss to his lips.  

A few seconds later I try to pull back, but I feel his hands on the back of my head as he kisses me again and again. I grin and kiss his cheek before pulling back and looking at him. "I- I didn't mean what I said just now" He mumbles, and I nod. "I know" I whisper, and he manages a half smile. 

I wrap an arm around him to try to get him to relax. I know he's still in a state of panic, and though I'm not a professional, I've learnt a lot from Leia, who's a counsellor. I take the cup of water from the bedside table and hand it to Joe, who takes it from me and drinks a little of it. "You're gonna be okay" I whisper to him. "We're gonna go out and have fun, okay?" I tell him. 

He sits up a little. "Where?"

"Where do you wanna go?" I ask him, not really having a plan in mind. "Lunch and then the SPCA?" He asks hopefully, and I laugh. Joe and I go to the SPCA sometimes, not to adopt a pet, but just to see them and pet them outside of their cages- having our own pet is too much of a responsibility. 

"Sure" I kiss the top of his head, and as he turns to press a kiss to my cheek, I can feel him smiling. I grin and stand up, pulling him up with me. "Where do you wanna go for lunch?" He asks me. 

I pause before I feel a smile spreading across my face. "Nellie's"*

He laughs, and I allow myself a small smile for making him laugh. "Why not?" 

Kevin, Dani and their two kids are preparing lunch, so Joe and I ask them not to make our portion. About 20 minutes later, we're both in my car. It's a 10 minute drive to Nellie's, and I take out the portable speaker that I bought a while ago and press play on my Spotify playlist. 

"Mandy always laughs when I act stupid

I am unaware that I'm a nuisance"

I freeze as an old Jonas Brother's song starts blasting, loud and clear, in the car. I quickly change the song, but I catch a glimpse of Joe's forced smile and bite my lip.  

"Sorry" 

"It's okay" 

We don't say anything for the rest of the ride.