Adopted by the Sidemen

"Why is your music so sad?"

"Out of the ashes, I'm burning like a fire
you can save your apologizes, you're nothing but a liar
I've got shame, I've got scars that I will never show
I'm a survivor
in more ways than you know"

"Is that good?" I mumble to Talía for validation, "it's an amazing soph. you gonna post this on youtube? or keep it?" she asks looking at the other lyrics "I filmed me singing hey there Delilah so I need to post that soon" she nodded and we continued to write more lyrics.

"Cause all the pain and the truth
I wear like a battle wound
so ashamed, so confused
I'm not broken or bruised"

"why is your music so sad?" Tobi asked walking towards us "Because I'm a bad bleep" (Addison Rae) he laughs and reads the lyrics from my paper. "looking good" I nod and he leaves us alone again to write.

"Now I'm a warrior
now I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
and my armour is made of steel you can't get in
I'm a warrior
and you can never hurt me"

I mumble the lyrics before having a lightbulb moment and scribbling the next verse down. "that was fast, sing it to me so I get it" talía says and I nod.

"there's a part of me I can't get back
a little girl grew up too fast
all it took was once
I'll never be the same
now I'm taking back my life today
nothing left that you can say
cause you were never gonna take the blame anyway"

"I like that this but is a little faster than the rest" I nod and tap my pen lightly while humming the song "Okay, last verse. No pressure" I mumble before feeling a hand on my shoulder "You want lunch?" Josh asks me before looking down at the bits of paper strewn about the piano with scribbles all over "I'll make it neater so you can read them, can I have a sandwich?" He nods and goes to the kitchen.

"Now I'm a warrior
I got thicker skin
I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
and my armour
is made of steel you can't get in
I'm a warrior
and you can never hurt me
no, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah
you can never hurt me
again."

I high-five Talía and jump up doing a little dance. "What's happening here?" "I finished my song, Simon," I say singsongy "Talía did you drug the child?" I laugh and grab the bits of paper with my lyrics. "want me to sing it?" he nods and I sit down pressing the first key.

This is a story that I have never told
I gotta get this off my chest to let it go
I need to take back the light inside you stole
You're a criminal
And you steal like you're a pro

All the pain and the truth
I wear like a battle wound

So ashamed, so confusedI was broken and bruised

Now I'm a warrior
Now I've got thicker skin
I'm a warrior

I'm stronger than I've ever beenAnd my armour, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me again

Out of the ashes, burning like a fire
You can save your apologies
You're nothing but a liar
I've got shame, I've got scars
But I will never show
I'm a survivor
In more ways than you know

'Cause all the pain and the truth
I wear like a battle wound

So ashamed, so confusedI'm not broken and bruised

'Cause now I'm a warrior

Now I've got thicker skinI'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armour, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me

There's a part of me I can't get back
A little girl grew up too fast
All it took was once, I'll never be the same
Now I'm taking back my life today

Nothing left that you can say'Cause you are never gonna take the blame anyway

Now I'm a warrior
I've got thicker skin
Now I'm a warrior
I'm stronger than I've ever been
And my armour, is made of steel, you can't get in
I'm a warrior
And you can never hurt me again

No, oh, yeah, yeah

You can never hurt me 
again

I pressed the last key and then I heard everyone cheering and clapping "where'd you come from?!" I said burying my face in my hands "I was making your sarnie n I hear this!" josh smiled at me "who's it about?" Harry asked "Me and depression" the boys nodded "you posting it on youtube or?" I shrug my shoulders and take my sandwich off josh. "what's on it?" "Ham and Cheese?" I slowly nod my head "you never know he could if roofied it" the guys burst out in laughs "why would your own dad do that?" Ethan asked dumbfounded "Do you not know?" I asked taking about my childhood, they shake their heads minus Freya and josh.

I sigh and go into the living room. "Ok long story short I'm going to swear. both the male and female birth giver were dickheads, abused me. drugged me. nonced me and then abandoned me. so yeah, that's why I didn't trust none of you" their faces said it all "don't feel sorry, someone couldn't have 7 mental illnesses without some type of trauma"

"okay no offence, but how are you alive?" "Good question, god had his favourites" I pull my cross necklace out to show them "Aye matching," Tobi said fist bumping me. "movie night?" I ask and they all nod. for the rest of the night we watched films and had food, well I didn't.

- The next day -

"School shopping?!" I moaned getting out of the car "Yes so move your butt missus" I groaned and dragged my self into the shops. "I have a compromise, you don't make me go to school and I'll wash the dishes forever. deal?" I say as josh took us to the school clothes bit "no deal, do you like that?" he pointed at a skirt that looked doll-sized "I'm not a sket, that's nice" I say looking at another one.

- 4 hours later -
"JD has shit music taste," I say flopping onto the couch "what was playing?" Ethan asked "Some rubbish by some guy called KSI, felt like my ears were bleeding" I laugh at Jj's offended reaction "Frig you, give us a haul. what did you get?" "okay, black Adidas bag, black Adidas shoes, black tights, black skirts, shirts, shitty tie, pens and that, calculator and my personal favourite black hoodies" They all nod and then start talking about something else. I zoned out, as per usual