At some point

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by ursula474

by ursula474

At some point we were happy
I know this but it pricks me like a needle so I avoid it

We had our own moments in paradise
But
There were no angels there

They're always telling me to let it go
Like a piece of thread through my fingers
I say you're sewn into me from years 16 to 19
It is not that simple

I am not that simple
I have gotten rid of the texts and the photos
The I love you's and the don't talk to me's

Your name doesn't even come up in capitals on my phone
But
It still comes up

You still come up

When I decided that I had finally had enough
And seen who you were
You weren't there anymore

So now that I have to acknowledge
That when you kissed me
There was a time when your chest was
Full of love
And when you said my name

You felt like you said the word peace

I think to myself
When did the world break you?
When did you feel scorn at my body
And my kiss feel like chalk dust

When did my falling tears
Feel like just spilt water to you?

And I can't breathe
Not knowing when that happened
Because I don't even know what I'm letting go

The fact that you never cared for me
Or that you're a liar
Or that you broke my heart and left
Or that we were simply

Incompatible

So I wonder what made you think
This could work?

How can I be asked to cut out the good from the bad
When I don't even know which one is which

At some point we were happy
But we were never both happy
At the same point.