Si cor meum erat, a libro, hoc est, quomodo legere

A Lit Match and Gasoline Trying to be A Torchlight

I feel like this world covered me in plastic
And I feel so much
Behind this thin clear sheet

I feel like
I feel nothing
And it feels like everything
Just like I am overheating underneath
And I think
I'm going to hyperventilate and pass out

At any given moment

I wish everyone would stop saying I'm just rude
That they can't see the film that keeps me from them
Every time I hear it
I fear I'm only seconds away from an explosion

And then I am
And then I'm not
And then I miss the burn

There is something to be said for an atomic bomb
I feel how lonely it must be

To set fire to
Everything you touch

Like they're not the ones
That named you
A disaster

All you want to do
All you've ever wanted to do
Is touch something

But you have no idea how

And they have no idea how hard you pretend to only be a forest fire
Or how hot and sticky plastic gets
How you just want to take it off and breathe

You know you could learn to control it
If they only let you
But they always let you know
Just how much earth you scorched

After they told you time and time again
How beautiful it was to watch your bonfire

So you put that plastic back on
Feel it stick onto your skin
Feel your skin stick to your sweat
Feel your sweat stick to your tongue

Fear tastes so salty that way
Tears too

And you wish you could just learn
To glow