A Final Prayer

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by ursula474

by ursula474

"Whenever you are creating beauty around you, you are restoring your own soul."

I am not an artist
I am a witch
I am a hedonistic contradictory thing

Where I emerge from I have yet to see my kin
My tribe
The ground I was birthed from was scorched
Yet still I grew
I grew on scraps of love
Hungry
See I should have chewed at my own flesh
Sipped my own blood
Made in their image
I hold my own communion

How bountiful is my body
How elastic my mentality
How eternal my soul

And
I with fear
And
I with wonder
Was made

I gave myself in a day all the love I could take
A sleeping cat lay on my blanket and I did not move until my legs were nearly numb
Treasuring fragility
Treasuring the honesty
I prophesied I would see the metamorphosis of my hate so
My doubt so

Depression is my fallen angel
She used to look to protect me and I hate when she takes hold
She knows death too well for her to die so behind iron bars I lock her
I banish her
I give her a dominion
I give her horns
I give her a half face
I cripple her

Mercifully
She is sometimes right
She says it can not last like this and she is right
She says no one loves you
She leaves out as much as you should love yourself.
So although I do not sit with her
Although I walk beside myself and myself alone
I do not fear her words

Instead
I birth myself
I know that in the beginning
Were my words
My lips
My song

My tears
I walk on their water
I feed all 5000 of my ambitions
I allow parts of me to be swallowed whole
I will see them again again in calmer waters

So I know
I am Beauty
I tame my own beasts
My restoration is my proclamation that no one will never take my soul
For she will never bleed for anyone
She is power and glory
For ever and ever

Amen