#0008 - A Phil Lester FanFiction #Wattys2017

Finally back to the comfort of home

~~~~ Lana's POV ~~~~

A few hours had passed since i'd woken up and me and Phil had spoken occasionally, both comfortable with any silence that happened to fall. To my relief, Doctor Sayers came in and unhooked me from the drip, ushering Phil out of the room after telling me something about discharge papers.

I couldn't stop thinking about what Phil had said to me. It had to mean that I was worth something to him.

No you're not, he's amazing, lovely and famous and you're just a fat, ugly bitch that everyone hates.

This thought sent me sinking back down into the bed, a tear rolling down my cheek as I sighed. Why can't I just be normal and worth loving? I wiped my cheek quickly as Dan and Phil walked into the room, Dan holding a small, yellow bag with what I presumed was clothes inside. I sent him a small smile and he came over and wrapped me in his long arms, still smelling strongly of mint like the first time we had met.

"I'm so glad that you're okay." He said, his eyes were bloodshot and the rims were red, indicating that he'd been crying.

Not over you, you're worthless

My mind tormented me as he backed away.

I got up steadily and went into the bathroom to change. The bag contained a hairbrush, a toothbrush, a black tank, some black leggings and Phil's giant yellow Jake the dog hoodie. I smiled as I sorted myself out.

~~~~~

We finally got home and I was pleased to see that my room had been cleared and all of the bed sheets had been changed. My arm was still heavily bandaged and Dan, Phil , and Carrie had been told to keep an eye on me for the next few weeks, so Carrie and Phil decided that the boys would be living with us for a little while. I chucked the empty bag into my wardrobe and found some extra bedding for a blow up mattress that had been left on my floor.

~~~~~

Carrie cooked us pasta for dinner, but a dark shadow was forcing me to leave it all on my plate.

Phil wont like you if you eat it, you'll just become fatter.

You can't eat this! They can't see you eat they'll hate you and Phil won't even consider loving you.

I ate one small bite, savouring the taste as it slid down my throat. Phil looked at me and smiled, nodding down at my plate in encouragement. I sighed and took one more bite before pushing my knife and fork to the side of my plate.

Two mouthfuls too many, you stupid idiot

I excused myself from the table and rushed up to my room, trying desperately to avoid everyone else. To my dismay, Dan managed to catch up with me and he slipped into my room behind me and closed the door.

"What's wrong Lana, you didn't even touch your dinner." He said softly, approaching me steadily in fear of me lashing out.

"I'm not hungry, thanks for your concern," I said casually, smiling in his direction. He just raised his eyebrows and I decided to open up to him. What's the worst that could happen? I trusted Dan with what my life was worth, and a though my head told me not to, I told him everything, from how I thought that he'd hate me if I ate to how I may have feelings for Phil. The tears flooded down my face and I instantly regretted telling him everything, but I knew that there was no going back. My stomach dropped completely as we made eye contact.

He nodded understandingly and got up and left the room without saying a word.

He doesn't care, he's probably going to laugh about you to Ph-

My thoughts were cut off to the sound of Dan returning and placing down his bag next to the inflatable bed.

"I'm here for you, i'll stay in here tonight." he said, and with that, I crawled into bed and so did he. All I could think about is how I didn't deserve these boys.

A/N TYSM FOR 1K READSSSS SORRY THIS IS A FILLER BUT MORE WILL COME! BYEEEEE

VOTE/COMMENT