Starman | BTS 8th Member | *ੈ✩‧₊˚(editing)

19.

He looked at his watch and gasped.

"I have to leave in 5 minutes." He sighed jumping up. He grabbed his bag shoving the notebook inside. He left a few minutes later. I had retreated to the living room when he had gone. He ran out the door flailing his hand in a waving motion.

I guess yoongi is pretty hard on him. Yoongi doesn't like jisung. He thinks he's the root of all evil. When I'm, not even sure jisung knows how to tie his shoelaces and owns Kermit plushies. Very evil behaviour.

Jisung pov ⋆

I speed walked over to the studio, quickly putting on my mask. My face was still red from whatever hoseok was trying to do, but i was to worried of being late.

I carefully took the steps up to the studio, I don't think I could run.

Yoongis doormat came into view. The familiar doormat that I had welcomed me for the last month or so.

I just let myself in as yoongi always took ages to reach the door. It was empty. My heart sored and rejoiced that I wouldn't have to stay have him read my music aloud. I grinned placing down the paper on his desk clapping my hands and stretching. I would hide in my room till further notice, he would talk to me about my songs tomorrow. And that's a full 24 hours. A curse and a blessing. Like most things in life.

I walked out of the building putting in my earphones.

I placed my music on shuffle.

The beach boys. Defiantly not. I laughed to my self keeping on the music anyway. Its a secret I listen to the beach boys. No one must know how much I enjoy surfin usa.

I sighed looking up the sky. It was pale, but not not the horrible, humid type where it rains. It when the sun slightly peeps over the clouds, tinging them yellow. I could see the colours. But it was blurry. Fuzzy. My glasses lay at the dorms in sad pieces

I smiled keeping walking through the park. I wondered by the river looking at my reflection.

My mask covered most of my face. I looked weird without my glasses. My hair fell in all places. It was extremely long. 

I took out my phone and went through Twitter. It seemed pretty boring today. It just seemed that people were talking about my interview.

I closed the app as quickly as i had opened it. I don't want to read any hate comments. Not today.

I was minding my business walking slowly. I sighed. I'm not sure why they had disliked me so much. I know sometimes I'm obnoxious and just an emotionless asshole, but i tried to be nice. Jungkook still disliked me. Very much. He gave me dirty looks. He hates me spending time with Jimin and tae. Especially tae it seemed. I was playing a game with tae at some point and jungkook came and planted himself right in between us. I've never had a civil conversation with him.

Yoongi still thought I was some crazy fan who didn't have to work at all. This made me angry. he thinks I don't know what bts had to go through to be where they are now. They were a family. And I still felt like I was intruding. Everyone was so nice. But I don't think I deserving it.

I overthink things. I think they secretly still don't like me. How one by one they started to like me.

They only did it to save the group, make it look like we get along. I don't even dare tell them anything out of pure fear of rejection.

I typed in the pin to the dorm slowly opening the door and flopping down on the empty sofa.

I'll just stay quiet and avoid attention.

"Hello james" taehyung said cheerfully sitting next to me.

"Hello" I smiled faintly sitting up so he could sit comfortably

"Nice plasters" he giggled

I flushed, feeling the plaster on my chin.

I smiled getting up and walking away but he called after me.

"Hey jisung" he called. But i was already in my room. I took a deep breath.

I would just act like i never heard him.

I dove onto my bed hiding underneath the covers.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. It was jeewoo. "Hello" i said tiredly into the phone.

"Hello hyung" jeewoo sounded just as tired as me. He had an edge to his voice that made him sound like he was going to cry in any minute.

"Are you okay?" I question. He was so much different from when i had left.

Before he was happy for me, he called me saying all the things he did in a day. He even broke a few rules, no sweets in the morning. Which was understandable, i always nagged him about having a good breakfast.

But know he sounded tired and stressed. I feared that if someone pushed him to far he would break. And i would rather him have cookies for breakfast than nothing at all.

Jeewoo hmmed in response to my question.

"Yeah im fine. Just tired that's all" i sighed coming out from under the covers. "You're not i can hear it in your voice," I said softly.

He remained silent for a few second

"Damn you" he chuckled lightly. "You aren't even here and you're reading me."

I put my coat back on and grabbed my bag. I think i needed to visit again.

"I've just been working too much" he mumbled.

He sounded so tired.

"You need to stop jeewoo" I said closing my door. "You need to focus on studying. I told you money was taken care of. You don't need to worry" i said, softy.

He sniffed. "I need to do something to take my mind off things. All I do is worry, hoping mum will be okay, and i worry about money"

I knew he was crying. He probably hadn't been talking at all to anyone. He reminded me of myself. But jeewoo is sensitive. The most sensitive person I know. I was pretty cold, not wanting affection from anyone. I guess i was numb to it all. But maybe that's because i had a coping mechanism of dancing. I

"Don't worry about money I've already told you. I already took care of it" i said writing on a post-it note to the members where I was going.

"I'm coming over anyway" I tore the paper away, putting it in the fridge.

"I've taken care of anything. I made sure of that before I left. Stop worrying." I said softly. I could him crying. I was rushing now

"I'll be there soon."

A/n: spelling mistakes are so embarrassing