Starman | BTS 8th Member | *ੈ✩‧₊˚(editing)

53.

Jin continued like that for 3 days. Every day i would hope he would improve but get worse.

Anything thing i did wrong was suddenly blown up out of proportion. He would deny my help. He wouldn't sit with me. He wouldn't even go near me. Distant wasn't a strong enough word.

He wouldn't even come near me.

The weirdest moment by far was the day after he started being funny.

"hi" i said sleepily sitting next to him. It was 10 o'clock and i was sleepy.

I was under the notion, that he was simply cranky the day before.

But no.

I leaned against him for support. My head was particularly painful that day so i knew having a tiny nap beside jin would help as it often did.

He tensed as i leaned against him. He didn't do what usually did, which was put his arm around me or

He just sat. Tense. "jisung. Get off please" i did so, but slowly, not wanting to move too much.

"sorry" i said sightly putout and embarrassed.

"if you're tired go to bed" he snapped. I glared.

"oh don't sulk just because you can't get what you want. You're 19 you don't need to lean on someone" he hissed.

And that's when i knew there was a problem. That i had done something wrong.

I was even slightly annoyed by how he thought i was sulking.

"sulking-" i repeated under my breath, hardly believing a word of it.

"fine." i got up. Leaving him be, just as he wanted.

I wanted to laugh.

But then the urge to cry was stronger as the pain in my head increased.

The other members had noticed his behaviour and would give me looks of sympathy.

The things i did wrong her wrong but stupid.

Every day i would question it and i hated every waking moment.

Jin was the first member to ever accept me. He comforted me and believed me. That what hurt The most every time i realised he had changed.

However, when the third day came, i had accepted it.

Today i finally got out of bed. It seemed like i would eat breakfast and go back to lying in bed, staring at the same poster for hours on end until i fell asleep then it was dinner. I would try and skip it but hoseok was having non of it.

"I'm not hungry" i mumbled, my head in my pillow.

Hoseok sighed. "yes you are. Now come" he pulled me up and tugged me out of bed.

The weather had been terrible lately, contributing to my low mood.

But it seemed today it looked a lot brighter.

The maknaes were messing around, jungkook pulling faces at taehyung while taehyung put his middle finger up at him from under the table.

"We have an award show soon. They normally tell us a month in advance so here we are. " namjoon sulked staring at his drink.

I tried not to choke on my food at this point.

I had learnt that the topic of award shows was a highly sensitive one, as they had been previously cheated out of things or being fooled before.

I kept my mouth shut avoiding eye contact with the others. I had less of a say on this topic. and Rightly so.

"jisung your phones ringing." taehyung nudged me, making me jump. "fucks sake" i sighed as i heard it ringing from my room.