FEARS

~19~

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Her eyes had a far off look in them. A sheen of sweat was plastered on her forehead despite the air-con in the room. Her bottom lip trembled a bit and if you look closely into her eyes you could see fear. As I stared at her, memories flashed in my mind once again.

"I enjoyed the date tonight," I whispered up at him shyly.

He gave me his usual smile. The smile that always came before my pain. I ignored that once again because I was in love with him.

"It's okay, love. Let's go in," he said gently, reaching for my hand to lead me into his apartment filled with good and bad memories of us.

No.

He was pulling at my hair. Screaming in my face for hugging Carlos. That was wrong of me. "I-I'm s-s-orry," I pleaded. I could feel tears stinging at my eyes already. At least he hasn't hit me yet so that's a good thing right?

"Don't fucking say that, love," he seethed, tugging me closer to him by my hair. I let out a harsh breath at the pain. I could feel my hair leaving it's roots.

No.

He says I cheated. How did I cheat? I just hugged Carlos. I don't think hugging is classified as cheating. But I knew better than to utter another word.

"I love you. I fucking love you but you had to fucking cheat!"

At these words, I could feel myself flying in the air before I hit a wall with force. My head bounced off the wall due to the impact. I let out a moan of pain. I held my head in my hands. I sank to the floor in pain. My head throbbed. I blinked my eyes trying to clear my vision. I was used to this. I was used to the pain. It was normal.

Stop.

I've apologised countless times. Nothing worked. He crouched low and gripped mt chin harshly in his hands. I whimpered. "Is it his name? Is it because he's Latin and I'm not???!!!" His voice boomed.

I watched in horror as he raised his hand. I knew what was coming before I felt it. The force from the slap threw me to the floor. My head bounced of the carpet. I fucking saw stars in my vision. My tounge reached to the side of my cheek and tasted that metallic taste...blood. This was....also normal.

Stop, please.

I've called for his attention. I started in a shaky voice but I need to do this. I trusted Keyshia and her word. "I....I can't," I took a deep breath, "I can't do this anymore. We're over Cain," I let out, my voice a whisper at the end. I didn't want to see his reaction so I looked down. I felt a weight lift off my chest at that. I allowed myself a small smile. I did it.

The room was silent, so silent you could hear a pin drop. Did he leave? I raised my head a bit. He was still there. His muscles were taut. He just stood staring at me. He looked broken. I felt bad immediately. I tried to stand to go to him. My legs felt wobbly. I stood and leaned against the wall. "Cain-"

"What have you done?" His whisper cut me off. His expression turned dark immediately. I haven't seen this kind on his face before. His chest heaved up and down. His lips rose up in a sneer. He took menacing steps towards me.

"Miss Evans?!"

I tried to back off the more into the wall. My palms were flat against it. I wish I could dissapear into the wall. He stopped right in front of me. I shook my head repeatedly, trying to silently plead with him. I didn't know what he was about to do. I moved my head side to side trying to search for an escape. There was none. I gazed at him with frantic wide eyes.