𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞

39. one down

(10/6/2016)
Real life

I feel like I'm stepping on emotional eggshells as I step through the high metal gates of my school. It's the first time I've been back in almost a year.

A few people start whispering behind their hands at me. I get the feeling that the things they're saying aren't very pleasant. Ivy immediately told her other friends about our fight, and twisted it so that I look bad, as Haylee and Lily informed me yesterday afternoon to warn me.

It turns out that the people in my year have somehow grown even meaner and more bitter over my absence, which is just terrific. An audible snicker makes me pull my backpack closer to my body. I push the early signs of tears away into the locked box in my brain.

I spot Ivy with her other friends Kaitlynne and Olivia by the tuck shop laughing loudly, and squealing at something on one of their phones. I take a deep breath, and walk over, lifting my chin up.

"Um, hey, can I talk to Ivy?" The girls all share a nasty smirk.
"It will just a be a second." I ensure. Ivy sighs in annoyance and pulls me over so that we can talk away from her friends.
"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry I kept asking you if you were okay the other day. I didn't mean to push you, or make you upset. I just wanted-"
"Well you did, didn't you." She snaps. I blink as my brow deepens. Ivy looks at me and laughs weirdly.

"You know, for an 'actor', you're not very good at reading people's emotions."
"Ivy, please."
"No, Camryn. I'm upset, and there's nothing you can do about it. That's how it is. You can't come up with some brilliant plan to save me from my emotions. That's not how life works. Now if you would excuse me, I'd like to get back to my friends."

"So that's it? You don't want to talk so we can stop fighting?" I ask desperately, my voice cracking at the ends. Her eyes narrow at me.
"I don't want to talk to you, full stop."

A sinking feeling fills me as she says those
words. My knees start to weaken, and I run to the bathrooms just in time for my tears to escape messily down my cheeks, and just in time to be able to be oblivious to the insults I get from Ivy and her new best friends.

One down, three to go.

I cover my mouth to stop my silent wails from reaching the ears of others. Once the first newborn tear breaks free, the rest course down my face and run down my neck like a river overflowing after a storm.

The bell rings, but I ignore its siren. After a short while of sitting on the tile floor feeling miserable for myself, I pull myself partly together and leave the blindingly vibrant lights of the girls restroom.

If it's not okay, it's not the end. It will be okay. Let life take its course.

🌸🌸🌸
another happy chapter😂

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