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SCARS sad fluff warning! mentions of self harm ✟
To say I hated myself was an understatement. I loathed myself. I dreaded waking up in the morning and having to look in the mirror, only to see a face and body I would never be happy with.
I've tried talking to some of my friends about it, but they weren't much help. They said I had no reason to feel the way I felt, even told me I was being selfish, and that I was only looking for attention.
I never brought it up again.
It only got worse, however, when I started dating Axl Rose. He never hurt me personally, but I couldn't help but compare myself to the many beautiful women that had been in his life before me. Gorgeous models with perfect bodies and million dollar smiles; how could I ever compare to that?
Now matter how many times Axl insisted he cared for me, I couldn't help but feel self conscious. I feared the day he'd tell me he'd met someone else, someone much better than me. Someone who wasn't afraid to show him her body, no fears as to what he'd say or how he'd react to the scars that covered her wrists.
✟
I undressed myself for a shower, and unfortunately caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I let my clothes fall to the floor as I approached the large pane of glass, inspecting every flaw, every blemish, every imperfection.
I wanted to cry.
I loved Axl, really I did. But I would never be able to reveal myself to him, and he would probably leave me for that.
Tears welled up in my eyes, and I began to sob.
He was going to leave me, it was only a matter of time.
"Y/N? Are you in there? Are you alright?"
His voice broke my thoughts, and before I could detest, he came in. I looked at him with wide eyes, my chest heaving as my breaths increased.
I started to cry again, not daring to meet his gaze when he rushed over to hold me. I sobbed into his chest and stained his t-shirt with my tears.
"What's wrong? Why are you crying?" He asked in a tender tone.
"I never wanted you to see me like this..." I weeped as his fingers gently threaded through my hair.
He stepped away from me for a moment, but still held my hands in his. I turned away as his eyes washed over my naked body. "Why not? You're beautiful." Axl smiled kindly, until he noticed my wrists. "But I see you don't feel the same." He pulled me back into his arms and lifted my chin so that I would meet his gaze, his beautiful green eyes we're filled with sadness. "Why baby?" He whispered gently. "Why would you do this to yourself?"
"I hate myself Axl... I really do..." I bawled. "What are you even doing with me anyway? You're Axl fucking Rose, you could have any girl you wanted... So why so why waste your time with me?"
Axl frowned. He scooped me up in his arms and carried me towards our bedroom. He helped me wrap myself in robe before sitting on the bed, and pulling me into his lap. He held me close, and pressed a few small kisses to the top of my head before finally speaking.
"I know I can't change your mind about how you feel about yourself, and I know I can't fix whatever's going on inside your head, but I want you to know that I love you more than life itself, more than you could ever even imagine. You're my whole world baby, and I'm never letting you go."
Tears started to fall from my eyes again, but this time, they we're tears of immeasurable joy. "I love you too, Axl..." I mumbled quietly. When I looked up to meet his gaze again, he smiled and pressed a kiss to my forehead. He then took my hand, and pressed a gentle kiss to my scarred wrists.
"Y/N baby, you're worth so much more than you know..."
