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OUR PAIN angst requested by notgonnamessthisup warning! mentions of self-harm! hey guys! long time no see! unfortunately this will be my last instalment in this book for a while as i've lost my motivation to continue writing it. i don't know if or when i'll be back, but i'd like to thank you, my readers for all your votes and hilarious comments and for supporting me through this journey! ✟
I always tried my best to be the best girlfriend I could possibly be without overstepping my boundaries. Still, it was a rather tricky task with Izzy Stradlin, especially since we had only been together for three months.
I knew something was wrong though, something was severely wrong and the more I got to know him, the more worried I became for him.
We had only been dating for three months but we had known each other for five in total, and I cared for him deeply, really I did, but I didn't want to scare him off by coming off as nosy, or simply mistaking his moodiness for something it wasn't.
You can imagine the dilemma I was in.
I decided to talk to his friends about it, they knew him better than anyone else, and even if they didn't know what was going on, it was probably better they found out than I did.
Axl, having known him for at least fourteen years, was the most worried out of everybody when I brought up my concerns. He tried to hide it, of course, not wanting to ruin his broody, bad-boy persona, but I could tell he was just as if not more scared for Izzy as I was.
"Look, Y/N, if something were going on he would have told me alright? He's probably just trying to focus on writing the new album. So just drop it." He was agitated of course at the implication that there was something wrong with his best friend that he didn't know about. It wasn't just the idea of not knowing that bothered him, it was the idea that if Y/N was right, it meant Izzy was hiding something from him, and he didn't like that at all.
"But, Axl, I'm really worried about him!"Y/N fought. "I think there's something really wrong and as his best friend I think you should-"
"I said drop it!" He interrupted with a shout and pointed an accusatory finger at the poor girl. "You barely fucking know him, let alone as well as I do! If there was something wrong with him I'd know! And I don't ever want to hear you telling me what to do ever again! Now fucking, drop it!" Axl finished and stormed out of the room, leaving Y/N alone with the rest of the band.
"Don't take it to heart, babe," Slash said resting a hand on her shoulder. "Axl's just sensitive about this kinda stuff. I'm sure he's probably as worried about Izzy as you are."
I decided to do what Axl said and drop it for the time being. After all, he was Izzy's best friend, so he was probably right about him just being stressed. I couldn't help but notice however that Izzy never wore t-shirts anymore, nor did he roll up his sleeves when he wore long sleeves. I wouldn't have paid any mind to it, but considering it was the middle of summer in good old sunny California, my concerns rose once more.
I decided to bring it up to the boys once more, this time without Axl present.
I could see and understand why he was upset, but I had had enough of his denial.
It was selfish honestly, to be more concerned about the possibility of your friend keeping secrets from you than his actual well-being. What I didn't know, however, was the fact that while the boys and I were driving over to Izzy's place to check on him, Axl had arrived moments before we did to do the exact same thing.
"Iz? Izzy? Where are you, man? I wanna talk!" Axl called as he wandered throughout the house. "Izzy?" He called again as he made his way up the stairs. "Izzy? Come on out man, I wanna talk to you." He looked in every room before finally approaching the master suite, the song Show Me The Way by Peter Frampton poured out through the bottom crack of the door, and Axl excused the loud music as the reason for Izzy's lack of response. He slowly opened the door, concern growing immediately when he heard sounds of sobbing over the music.
His face fell immediately when he saw Izzy hunched over, with blood dripping down his arm.
"Iz..." Axl looked at him, horrified by the sight in front of him.
Izzy slowly lifted his head, his face full of dread and even shame of all things. He was ashamed of what he had done to himself, and what he had been doing to himself for a while. "I'm sorry..." He mumbled as Axl immediately rushed over to hold him. He sobbed quietly into Axl's shoulder, failing to notice that four more people had entered the room until they joined their comforting embrace.
"Don't you dare apologize, Iz," Axl spoke. "This isn't your pain, it's our pain."
