A Walk For You and Me (Friends Series #1)

Chapter 38

"Girl, why though?" Nabigla ako sa sinaad ni Aki. "What does really went downhill?" 

Even my other friends were shocked when they heard what Aki said pero ako medyo alam ko na sasabihin niya yun because of her personality. 

Nakatingin lang ako sakanya and I do not even bother myself to answer her muna. I am really thinking too much about it because I needed it kung ayaw kong ma-misinterpret nila ako. 

"Don't ask her na nga Aki, alam naman natin yung reason kung bakit ganun diba." Pumipigil na si Corrine because she knows baka kung saan pa mapunta yung tanong. 

Nakatingin lang rin saakin si Aki at hindi niya tinatanggal ang tingin niya. 

"Chione, why don't you answer my question." Hamon niya saakin. "Stop avoiding the situation and you know you can never run away from this." 

Tahimik ang ang mga kaibigan namin and they are just looking at both of us. Hinihintay nila kung ano ang sasabihin ko. Pero mismong ako ang may hindi alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko. 

"I don't know. I do not know what really is happening with me. I feel I was traumatized with what happened in the past and I feel I cannot afford to be in that situation again." Nakaupo na ako sa kama ko because I feel my energy was sucked out from me. 

"And you know you need to face the reality Chione. Hindi sa lahat ng panahon ay pwede naming saluhin lahat ng bagay na may connection kay Connor. You are not getting any younger, you need to face this to move one faster." Pang-aral saakin ni Aki. They are all sitting down again. "Kung hindi mo haharapin ngayon, then kailan?" 

Matagal ako natahimik and even my friends are waiting for my reply to her question. While waiting for my answer ay inabala nila ang mga sarili nila on whatever they wanted to do. 

"Alam mo kesa sabihin mo ito saamin, why don't you fess up on Connor what you truly feels. Para narin alam niya yung nangyayari." Hindi na nakapag-hintay pa si Gavin. I know he felt bad for his cousin because he was always left out. 

I am feeling overwhelmed with all of the words that are going on because I know for sure that I do want to move on. The main problem is that I do not know where I should start. I know I should decide where I would start because that's the only time I could really move on from everything.

"Ayaw mo na ba talaga?" Mahina ang pagka-sabi ni Corrine sa tanong niya. "Nasaan ba sila Leila, sila dapat yung mga nag-tatanong nito." May halo pang reklamo. She was actually trying to lighten the mood because sorbang gloomy na. Halos hindi mo na makilala yung pagiging seryoso ng mga tao.

"if kung hindi niya pa alam, let her be." Forever savior ko talaga si Ethan. Kahit anong mangyari alam kong kakampi ko siya. 

"Ethan. She is not getting any younger. Let her decide now for what she wanted to do for her life. Hindi naman palaging nandyan ka para sakanya. She needed to be responsible enough to decide not just for her own good but also for her daughter. You always spoil her, Ethan." Aki is riling up, hindi na maganda kung dadagdagan pa yung inis niya.

"I'll tell him, Okay. Just. Please stop fighting." Singit kong pakiusap. 

May narinig akong mahina tawa kaya napatingin ako sa gawi ni Aki.

"Well since you already decided on what you needed to do, then do the action." Hamon niya muli saakin. "We all know how indecisive you are. Baka bigla nalang mag-back out ka ng hindi namin nalalaman." 

"I do not know-how. Sobrang nag-lash out ako kay Connor the other week kaya I do not know where to even begin. Should I say sorry first or should I just go straight to the point?" I am rambling because I really do not know what I would say to him because of what happened. 

"Come on girl, kaya mo yan." Tumatawa na si Corrine and it is the sign that everything will be okay... eventually. 

Since we already establish the thought na I am going to talk to Connor when I meet him again ay pinabayaan na ako nila Aki. 

"Oo nga pala! Nasaan sila Leila and Alice?" Napatanong ako bigla because hindi ko agad napansin na wala sila because I am contained with my thoughts. 

"Diba shift ni Alice ngayon and si Leila naman ay kakauwi palang from her shift. Kaya hindi na namin isinama, pagod na iyon masyadon at baka hindi na kayanin ng katawan niya pa. Kapag hindi pa siya nagpa-hinga." Saad ni Gavin.

Both Leila and Alice are now in their residency stage and they are both having a hard to coping especially in the first years pero ngayon unti-unti na daw silang nasasanay. 

After talking to me ay they all got out of my room pero si Ethan lang ang naiwan. Nakatingin lang ako sakanya because I do not know bakit siya nagpa-iwan dito sa loob. 

"Why are you still here?" Umupo lang ito sa tabi at hindi naman siya nag-sasalita. "Why nga?"

Nakatingin din ito lang saakin. "I just want to know if you are okay. Hindi na kita nakausap pa after what happened." 

Nakatitig lang ito saakin. I do not intend to answer his question kasi hindi ko rin naman alam ang isasagot ko and also nasagot ko naman na kanina yung tanong nila.

"Chi, saakin ka pa matatakot na sumagot. When in fact halos lahat na nga information ng buhay mo ay alam ko kaya just answer me." Tawa lang ang ibinigay ko sakanya at tumayo narin ako para sana lumabas na kwarto ko. Ayaw ko kasi talagang sabihin kung ano man yung tinatanong niya. 

Naririnig kong kumakain sila sa may dining area and parang wala nangyari kanina. Kaya natawa naman ako sakanila. Even with something is going on ay hindi parin talaga nila kayang tigilan na hindi kumain kahit anong mangyari. 

Zoe is also eating merienda with them. Tawa nga ng tawa ito while animatedly telling her stories. Narinig ko rin ang mga yabag ni Ethan from my behind hanngang sa naramdaman ko nalang na may pumatong na mabigat na braso sa balikat ko. 

Napatingin tuloy ako kay Ethan when he did that. 

"What?" Mahina kong tanong rito. Pero tumawa lang ito bilang tugon niya saakin. 

Hindi ko namalayan na nakatingin na pala saamin sila Aki.

"Bakit hindi nalang kayong dalawa? I mean wala naman dibang mawawala kung kayo nalang." Biglang tanong ni Gavin. Nagka-tinginan kaming dalawa ni Ethan.

Alam ko naman na ayun ang gusto talaga nilang mangyari na kami nalang ni Ethan. I know I'll be contented pero what about the happiness, the true happiness.