Starman | BTS 8th Member | *ੈ✩‧₊˚(editing)

15.

"Jisung, are you okay?" Jin asked, he was in front of me and must of been watching me for a while.
That's the worst thing about this place. Someone's always watching you. 7 pairs of eyes.

"what?" I jumped of course i hadn't been listening. "You haven't eaten much" he said guesting at my plate. I looked around the everyone's plates were nearly empty.

"Oh, just not feeling to good." it wasn't a lie.

I looked down at my hands, the newly healed cut on my hands had just turned into a shiny scar. I smiled lightly as i remember hoseok being absolutely stupid and claiming never to drink 7up again.

I tried to eat but i wasn't hungry, i wanted to eat, the food tasted good, but i couldn't eat. Forcing it down would only make me ill. It was almost like i wasn't made for food.

I got up once the table empty, clearing the food off my plate with much guilt.

I planned on returning to my room. I thought about taehyung. I had noticed he had stopped taking after jungkook a few days ago. This wasn't something that particularly raised my mood at all. One less person hating you isn't really comforting when there's a whole line next to you of those who despise you.

When i woke up the next morning, i was
fully clothed and the light still on with the uncomfortable feeling that came with it. I shivered i was no longer tired but i still yawned. I figured it must of been late.

Jimin's music had stopped, namjoon was snoring and my door was rattling which meant the other one had gone to sleep in his freezer.

I stretched, but it didn't get rid of my stiffness.

I sat at the dining table, my notebook was open and its pages empty.
It mocks me.
suddenly next week didn't seem that faraway. I took off my glasses, the lights now blurring together.

I doodled aimlessly, not very good ones. I've always had issues with my hands so they shook, that's why my handwriting is terrible. They never worked properly. I even got taken to a doctor once when i was young, but i dont remember anything, only me getting frustrated that i couldn't hold the pencils properly.

Heros by David bowie was stuck in my head, the same time. I kept repeating the same verse, over and over.

01:27. I'm not even sure if it's late or not by other people standards. Well i won't go to bed anyway, i dont have enough time in the day to do anything else.

Heros in my mind changed to something by the smiths and i cringed, trying to get it out of my head.

I put my pen down and went through twitter as for something to do.

I looked at who had posted recently. It was namjoon recommending a book or telling people to have a nice day. I smiled. I had given him some books to read, some in English and he was more than happy. Overjoyed to the point where he was unbearable.

I remember the day he had finished that book in particular. He had come storming into the living room, jungkook and taehyung shoving one another to have a seat on the sofa. Jungkook of cause winning. Taehyung didn't have chance.
He was doomed from the start.
And then i was sitting with hoseok in the arm chair.

Flashback

"You won't believe this" he rambled running in brandishing his book out towards us. We all looked up thinking it would be some interesting news to the world. But no.
I looked back at my phone. "

"the main character dies! But they also don't" he said taking up another chair. "
As if i haven't read it already-

"you wait til book 3" i laughed at his excitement i was about to crush.
"Do you have the third one?" He asked innocently.

Namjoons joy was lennie and i am George.

I grinned. i put down my phone, absentmindedly resting my head on hoseok shoulder.

My grin changed to a smirk. "there isn't one"

I watched his smile fall, very slowly as he took in my words. It was a sore sight to see.
devastation was the only thing i could describe it as.
"It's just a book" jungkook said looking at namjoons sad face.
"Shut up" namjoon said quietly and got up.

Flash back

I decided to walk out onto the balcony.
It was raining and i could see the street below through the trees that had turned a golden brown that made me twinge with happiness. The rain was hitting my head, cold drops going down my back. Though i didn't care.I looked down at my plants. taehyung was doing a good job watering. I smiled as i remember how he was scared i would be mad. I picked up The watering can and took a photo, putting it on twitter

Bts.twtter
Wow
#jisung

I placed it down gently, it had filled up with water from the rain. I went back inside as it was getting cold and i didn't want my jacket getting to wet.

A/n i hate old chapters of this book absolutely vile