understand
/ʌndəˈstand/
verb
perceive the intended meaning of (words, a language, or a speaker).
'why can't you understand me?'
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"When someone leaves and another comes do not expect them to be the same, for everyone is different, and you should kno...
Trigger Warning(s): Implied Eating Disorder, Mentions Of Needles, Mentions Of Hospitals, Throwing Up, And Hating Of One's Body
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Tommy remembered standing in the grass on a warm summer's day, looking down at his body and having the same thoughts. He remembered trying to suck in his stomach and pull his shirt away from his skin so it wasn't noticable that he was overweight. He remembered when he pulled down his short sleeves to cover the stretch marks that ruined body.
He remembered standing in the mirror and holding his stomach in an attempt to make it flat. He remembered begging Phil to buy pants and sweaters to cover his body, always a size too big. He remembered standing on the scale every night and watching the numbers tick down but never thinking it was enough.
Tommy remembered crying and holding himself while he shook, unable to stop the feeling. He remembered throwing up in the school bathrooms after lunch every day. He remembered his pale face and the bags under his eyes that only got worse as time went on.
He remembered going to the doctors and being told he was deathly underweight but not believing them. He remembered looking down and seeing his ribs pushing against his skin. He remembered being forced to eat just to have the same sick feeling and throwing up again, sometimes not even wanting to.
Tommy remembered waking up in the hospital, everything hurt that day. He remembered his brother's faces, he remembered his father's face. He remembered the equipment around him, the needles stuck in his broken body. He remembered being so tired and falling asleep as soon as he saw the doctors.
Tommy looked in the mirror, he thought he did it too much nowadays, he didn't like to remember but he still did. Now it wasn't like how it used to be, he didn't think he was ugly or fat, he thought he was amazing, because he is. He didn't deserve the pain he had gone through because of how he looked, and no-one else does, what's important now is he understands that. He smiles when he sees himself when he looks in the mirror and it's the best feeling he could ever have.
