Harry Styles One Shots

One of My Own (3)

Summary: Harry falls out of love

Warnings: angst, fluff

Word Count: 6.5k

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It had been an excruciatingly agonizing past few months for Y/N. All of her assumptions had been proven true, and nothing hurts more than hoping and praying for days that what you presumed isn't true, but life sometimes likes to take you by surprise hitting you square in the face. It obviously took a toll on her; not only emotionally, but also mentally and physically.

Her mind was an on-going cycle of paranoia and she couldn't stop her heart from beating so hard every time someone she knew made a promise to her. Maybe Y/N had trust issues—it was a probable outcome—and it made her a little more hesitant when meeting new people, which made her brain hurt from ruminating if what they intended with her was what they really showed.

Physiologically, it was as if her heartstrings had been stretched, pulled to their extent and it had broken—she felt like she could really die from a broken heart. A vast hole in her chest sucked in gallons of energy from her; she was tired. Y/N was exhausted from being used and abused over and over again–she couldn't handle another blow, especially after Harry made the ultimate heartbreaking move by switching her for Daniella. There was a void in her that couldn't be filled by anything, regardless of how much she tried. It seemed that only Harry and his love had the power to do that. Y/N knew that she shouldn't even *consider giving Harry another chance with her, but she was extremely desperate to be fixed: to be normal again and most importantly, to not feel alone.

It was pathetic, really. Some people wouldn't consider giving their ex a second chance, but here was Y/N daydreaming about what they could be doing now instead of hating his guts. She dozes off in the distance more frequently, chin in her hand while she stared at the empty space in front of her during the lecture. In her mind, there was a screen that played happy times of her and Harry. Both of their faces glowing from the wide grins set on their faces. Her eyes were glowing and she could imagine that Harry's green ones were filled with adoration meant for her and her only. It was a torturous move to let herself envision the good moments when in reality, Y/N looked and felt like the complete opposite of what she wanted to be.

Y/N was isolated from the world. It was a gradual process; she didn't even notice how detached she became until her phone lit up in messages from her friends asking her if she could 'hang out' or some concerned emails about her health and well-being. That was the moment when Y/N discerned that she wasn't the same person that she used to be with Harry. She could feel her whole being slipping into the abyss she once stood in before meeting him, and she didn't know what to do. Would it be fair for her to live a fake, plastic life pretending to be happy with Harry when all she wanted to do was to yell at him and punch his chest to somehow project the pain she was feeling physically? Or would she rather live a life quarantined from the world even when she was surrounded by people who cared for her? (Did they really?)

As stereotypical as it sounded, it was as if everyone but Y/N was living life to the fullest. Even though some were breaking at the seams, they still held it together and plastered a fake smile whereas Y/N could feel her brows start to crease when a person began to tap her shoulder. Conversations were disappearing from her domain, and with that came interaction with people. Like she said, Y/N wasn't the same because of him.

The version of herself that she personified when Harry brought out the 'best' in her had vanished into the wild; lost and hard to find. That person will never come back because things can never be the same no matter how much she wished for it—no matter how hard he prayed for it if he did. Sometimes Y/N wondered if Harry had changed–obviously, he did, otherwise, they would still be together right now– if he still slept on the right side of the bed. If he still pushed away his Brussel sprouts–surprisingly– because he was known as a health nut. Y/N questioned if he acted the same with Daniela.