Favourite (ii)

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Summary: harry loves one of his children less

Warnings: angst

Word Count: 1804 words

A/N: y'all know I've been feeling sensitive about posting this piece so if you have any comments BE NICE BE NICE BE NICE 🥺

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The events from the previous weeks rattled the Styles' household. Caleb woke to a tense morning the next morning where his dad was nowhere to be seen and Beatrice was holed up in her room. Dinner was even more awkward when silence draped over their backs like a cold blanket. Y/N tried her best to continue a dwindling conversation but there was only so much she could say until Beatrice's silence towards Harry's questions started to suggest that she didn't want to speak to her dad. The youngest daughter, Ruby, seemed to be the holy grail of each family dinner when she babbled about her day in pre-school.

Beatrice was set to leave home in exactly two days. Y/N could feel a sense of pride seeing her eldest leave the family home, setting off to university and becoming her own person. Y/N knew that Beatrice had a difficult time separating Beatrice, Harry Styles' daughter, from just Beatrice. Y/N looked back to when Beatrice was younger–an unexpected surprise that she learned to love when she felt the first symptoms of morning sickness–how she was bound to change her and Harry's life forever.

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Y/N wasn't sure if her brain blocked out the memories of Harry being hostile to their first child until recently; maybe it was a denial that there was no way Harry could blatantly show anything less than love for their child. But the more Y/N thought about Beatrice's birthdays, recitals and school events; all she could see notice now was Harry's distanced posture. His distraction when Beatrice performed on stage, the excuses when she had a dance recital, and the unenthusiastic greeting of 'happy birthday'.

Harry leaned his shoulder against the door frame of the barren room, observing the bed and bedside table as it was stripped bare of the flower-printed sheets, watching his wife flip through the photo album filled with Beatrice's accomplishments. The parents could not help but let a wave of nostalgia wash over them. The lamp on the bedside table lit the entire room. The fairy lights that were hung on her wall were taken down a few days ago; one of the items that Beatrice packed last.

"She asked me to help her put the lights up," Harry whispered, tracing his fingers over the cream walls, walking over to where Y/N sat on the mattress. "I told her I was busy and she did it by herself,"

Y/N sighed, lifting her head to direct Harry to the spot beside her, "I know," She sunk with Harry's weight at her side, his slouched shoulders further emphasizing his despondent mood. "We raised a good done, hm?"

Harry shook his head in disappointment, "No..not me," His chest ached with missed opportunities to bond with his daughter; all because he couldn't get over the fact that she came as a surprise. He was at the peak of his career and he wasn't too glad that he was forced to push everything back–his album release, promo, and tour–to the next year all because of a child that he didn't even plan on having in the first place.

In retrospect, Harry should have known better. He should have reacted like a mature adult, a father-to-be and became an actual dad to Beatrice instead of holding a grudge to an innocent little baby. He still had a successful career that he always dreamed of but he can never turn back time for all the shortcomings he had with his child.

Harry felt extremely guilty for missing Beatrice's childhood, so he tried to compensate for the guilt looming over him by presenting his younger children the type of love that he failed to give her. How daft was he to not notice his actions would only push her away from him? That, to Beatrice, it was Harry's way of highlighting the fact that he would never accept the way she was conceived?

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