Frozen Grapes | KSJ ✔

.twenty-nine.

Yuna hums as she walks around her apartment, spraying plants with a bottle. Small plants fill her apartment space, adding to the natural aesthetic of the area. 

"Since when were you so obsessed with plants?" I ask, popping a frozen grape into my mouth. 

Yuna bends down and touches the leaves of a plant. "Namjoon oppa got me into them." She turns around and smiles. "Look how pretty and cute and nice they look. Look!" Her hands spread out, gesturing to the green that was present in every corner of the room. We could be at a botanical shop. 

I laugh and shake my head. "Yes, very cute. Did you name any of them?" 

She frowns. "Coming up with names is hard. I do talk with them sometimes, and I come up with personalities for each of them." She touches the pot of a plant next to her. "This one acts cold-hearted but is actually really sweet." 

I laugh out loud. "Yuna, you look crazy right now. Just come sit down." 

Yuna grins but obliges, picking up her beer can on the coffee table. "Was Hyunsoo not able to make it?" she asks. 

I shake my head. "He's been weirdly busy recently." 

Yuna nods. "Yeah, right? I've noticed that too." She reaches forward and grabs a piece of fried chicken. 

I stick with munching on my frozen grapes, though the temptation to reach out and try one, just try one, is so strong, I can't tear my gaze from the bumpy texture of the fried batter. Just one. But just one will lead to two, then three, then infinitely more. I've been a victim of that mentality too often, and it didn't seem like I would be set free from the captor that was my own mind. 

Yuna throws another clean bone onto the pile and wipes her greasy fingers on a napkin. While simply sitting, her fingers automatically touch the butterfly necklace resting below the hollow dent in between her collar bones. I try to surreptitiously press on my own, analyzing. Did they feel more prominent? Maybe they stuck out a little more? 

My gaze drifts down to my thighs. Were they skinnier? Especially sitting down, I can feel the tug on my pant's waistline. Nothing in my closet fits me anymore, but I'm too scared to go out shopping and find out the new number I would have to search for when looking for pants. 

"Sometimes I forget you're introverted." 

My eyes snap back up to Yuna who is observing me. "That was really random." 

She just shrugs. "You were staring off into space, so no, not exactly random. It's just weird to see you usually energetic and bubbly around others and then sometimes crash when you're having one of those quieter days." 

I mean, if I were able to, those quieter days would be my everyday, but the reputation I had grown had tenure. My thoughts shift to Seokjin, who is unable to be quiet on those days he wanted to be. He constantly had to act excited and happy. My thoughts bring me down a hole again and my concern for him only continues to grow. 

"Hana?" 

I shake my head and adjust my glasses. "Sorry, Yuna, just really not feeling it today." 

She smiles. "That's fine. I don't mind staying with you, even if it means you aren't going to be doing anything." 

I feel bad wasting her time like this. If she was going to come see me, then it was my job as a decent friend to provide that entertainment and laughter. My head shakes. "I'm fine. I just needed a moment." 

She stares at me, and I can almost see the internal debate she's holding in her mind before she just nods and smiles. I didn't need her to be worried over me. I wanted to be a source of happiness for her, not concern. 

Yuna reaches out and touches the dog keychain on the bag propped up against the side of the couch. I don't realize I'm holding my breath until I remember that there is no way she would be able to make the connection between the keychain and Seokjin. "I can't believe we're already one month into a new year," she finally speaks up, dropping the keychain and reaching for another chicken wing. 

I nod in agreement. "We're seriously growing up too fast." 

Her eyes widen. "I know. Before you know it, we're going to get married and then have kids and then grow old and wrinkly and die." 

I laugh at the abrupt jump of conclusions. "Sure, Yuna. Remember this moment. Before you know it, we'll be babysitting kids at home while our husbands go fishing." 

Her head nods excitedly. "Remember this moment," she repeats. 

"One month," I reiterate, shaking my head. "Crazy. Since Namjoon oppa is still in America, did he contact you the day of or the day after to wish you a happy new year?" 

Her smile slightly drops at the reminder that her boyfriend was across an entire ocean. "I think the day of." She bites her lip, and I know I've brought up thoughts I shouldn't have. 

She was supposed to be happy. I was supposed to be that source of happiness. I wanted to be that source of happiness. 

"What was your resolution this year? My new year's resolution was 1080p." 

Yuna's laughter brings a smile to my face and I feel myself start to relax, grateful she was in a better mood now. "If this thing with Namjoon oppa doesn't end up working out, let's get married," she proposes through her chuckles. 

I grin back at her. "That's assuming you get selected. There's quite a large pool of applicants waiting for my hand." 

Yuna smiles at me and we clink beer cans together before taking a sip. "Seriously, Hana, are you not interested at all in finding a significant other?" 

I shrug. "I'm sure the right time will come. The best things in life always come when you aren't looking for them. What about you?" I direct the conversation away from me. "How are things with Namjoon oppa?" 

Yuna chews on her bottom lip. "Long distance is rough," she says with a shaky laugh, "but we communicate really well and the relationship is worth it, regardless of the waiting and the distance. It can just be hard from time to time." 

I nod in agreement, although to Yuna it would seem like it was with understanding. It had been over six months since I met Seokjin, and it felt like we've known each other forever while knowing nothing at all. We understood each other, but we didn't know each other. 

I missed him. A lot. 

I believe in superpowers. 

Right at that moment, a text lights up my phone and I smile down at the phrase I had telepathically sent him written out on the screen of my phone. 

He felt so distant, yet so close. 

I don't know how to feel.

//

I will never get over how adorable Yuna and Namjoon are. I can imagine so perfectly them raising a little plant family with adorable succulents and stuff and aqageipjnhaqghpqagnpqpqgrbg uwu.