Hazel
Tears filled my eyes the moment I seen my baby's heart beating, this is the best day of my life. I covered my mouth as the doctor moved the wand on my stomach. I could see his or her head, I didn't expect any of this. I figured I'd hear the heartbeat and see a very small baby.
"By the look of your ultrasound you're about thirteen weeks and two days"
For me to be this far, I conceived not long after the abortion. This is crazy, I've been pregnant for three months and I didn't know. I didn't have any symptoms, I would have known earlier but I was told my period probably wouldn't come the following month. And it didn't but it wasn't because of what had been done.. I wish, I would have known.
"Is the baby okay?"
"Yes, everything looks fine, the heartbeat is very strong, a hundred and sixty beats per minutes. There's nothing to worry about, the impact didn't harm your baby at all. However you should be very careful next"
I didn't exactly tell her what happened because I know he didn't mean to push me against the wall..
"Okay"
She wiped the gel off my stomach and handed me the pictures, I can't stop smiling. I'm so in love and I haven't even met him or her.
"If you're being abused, you need to seek help"
"I'm not being abused.."
"You have a bruise across your back and one on your wrist"
I looked down and pulled my sleeve back down, it was an accident. I know the truth.. I get that it looks bad, but he didn't mean to do it.
"It was an accident"
"Next time it won't be"
"Listen you don't know me or my situation. I know how this looks but I'm not being abused"
I grabbed my bag and hopped down off the table. I won't sit and listen to her any longer, I get her concern I'm pregnant which makes things look ten times worse. I don't need her watching me closely thinking there's someone hurting me. I take a lot of things but abuse... will not be one.
I made sure to schedule my follow up appointment for next month before leaving. Despite everything I've had to deal with when it comes to King and whether or not he wants to be apart of this pregnancy I'm still going to inform him about everything. He might come around, maybe the pictures and the little updates will cause him to wake up. And he'll fall in love with our child like I have, I just don't wanna get my hopes up.
I came to my appointment alone, Rashawn would have been with me but he had to work. He couldn't drop was he was doing today, because he had cleared his schedule for the other date. That didn't work out considering what happen, I walked towards the bus terminal still staring at the ultrasound picture. I just feel like if he had shown up today he would have changed his mind. It's impossible not to feel something when you see the life you created. This is such a beautiful moment, and I've been given the chance to experience it again after all that I've done.
It was hard to accept the pregnancy at first because I kind of felt it was unfair of me to keep this baby when I didn't keep the first. That's something that will forever be in mind, no matter what. I can't rewind the hands of time so I can only look forward to what's to come. I'm happy with my pregnancy but I'm still sad about so much. There are things that I want to change, apart of me wants to give my baby a family. One where mommy and daddy love each other, I hate that me and King can't see eye to eye.
I looked down at my phone and opened the message I received from him.
King: Can we talk? Maybe over breakfast, I know the you wanna eat.
