Hazel
He loves me, he wants to be with me, he came back for me.. but why? I'm nothing special, I'm sure there's someone out there much better than me. I grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes, I just don't feel the same way he does. He smiled and placed his hand on my shoulder. I guess my silence was enough for him to know just how I felt.
"I understand, I guess I'm too late huh?"
"I'm sorry.."
"No need to be, I wish you the best of luck"
"You're a really good guy, but I'm not ready to take that step with you"
"Will you ever be ready? You can tell me the truth"
"I don't know. I'm still in love with him and.. Its hard, I just need time to think"
"What is it about him that keeps you coming back?"
"It's so much more than everyone sees, to the world I'm this dumb girl and that hurts me because I'm so much more than that. No one was there when me and him exchanged genuine I love you's. I don't expect everyone to understand because what y'all think and what I think are two different things. I love him that's the reason"
I'm tired of being judged, if I could snap my fingers and be done with King I would. You can't just throw away memories and forget what once was overnight. Rashawn is a nice guy, he has a good heart and he's very handsome. He has a good career, he's financially stable and he'd probably treat me ten times better than King but he's my best friend. I don't know if us trying to be something is the best idea..
"I never said you were dumb, but it's kind of absurd that you can love a man that mistreats you. Never once has he put his pride aside and genuinely apologized for hurting you. He just walked out of you and your baby's life not even twelve hours ago! And here I am pouring my heart out to you and I can't even get one ounce of the love you've wasted on him. I just confessed my love for you and I get, I don't know, I'm sorry. That's bullshit Hazel and you know it"
I don't know what to do, I know he's right. But I can't just agree to try things out with him if that's not what my heart wants. Why should I? I'd be playing with his heart unintentionally. Everyone would look at me crazy if I'd break his heart by still thinking about another guy.
"All I'm asking for is time, give me the chance to figure things out. I know it's unfair of me to ignore your feelings but it's not intentional. I need you more as a friend right now"
"I'll be back sometime tomorrow.."
"Where are you going?"
"I don't know, probably to a hotel"
"But-"
"Just go ahead to bed.."
"Are you coming back?"
He put his shoes on as if he hadn't heard me ask if he would come back. I sighed and got up, I have to work tomorrow so I guess I better go to bed.
"Yeah, I'm coming back"
"Please don't leave me, don't do what he did.."
He stopped tying his shoe and closed his eyes, I don't know what's going through his mind but I need to know. Is he going to go back to Texas now..
"I'm coming back.. I'll see you tomorrow"
"No you're not, I know you. You said that before you left the first time. You said you would come back and you did but five years later"
"It was different back then. I couldn't tell you I had to leave, it would have broken your heart"
"And you think it wouldn't hurt now?"
