Hazel
I sat on the hotel bed with my legs crossed while swiping through Andre's tablet. He had to leave this morning and go all the way back to New York. Something about his office, I don't know I just know he didn't seem happy about that phone call. He left me his tablet so I could see pictures of the house. I did get to see it and I love it, but I'm starting to second guess the move.
So I'm hoping if I keep looking at the pictures, it'll give me the confidence to do this. I know it would be the best thing for me and Ava but I haven't even heard anything back about the jobs I applied to. I personally dropped off two additional applications yesterday. I don't wanna move without knowing I'll be able to find a secure job. Then if I go back to New York I can work with my uncle, but I don't really wanna do that..
The thing is I don't wanna go back to New York but I'm so scared of change that I feel like I need to. I'm confused about this whole entire thing, it's a big step. I picked up my phone so I could face time Tazo, he tends to give good advice. He answered and immediately his face popped up. He looked super tired, hung over or sick..
"Did you sleep last night?"
"Hell no, my damn kids got me sick breathing all in my face. I couldn't sleep because if they weren't whining they were throwing up. I had a long ass night"
"Did you give them some medicine and some warm tea?"
"I did and now they're knocked out, what's up with you though?"
"I'm... starting to second guess the idea of moving here"
"Why? What happen?"
"He took me to see the house, it's amazing. I love it but it's so much bigger than my condo and my apartment was. Its a freaking house, made for a family, it just feels lonely. I won't be able to bug you and see Tj and Miley.."
"But aren't you coming back Monday?"
"That's the thing, I'm not sure anymore. I wanna stay here because I'm a lot happier but then I feel like I should come back home.."
"Do what your heart tells you to do, if you feel it's best to stay and rebuild your life do that. I'll support you either way, live for Hazel and stop thinking about the what if's. You'll never know if you don't try. I'll come visit with the kids, we'll always be friends"
I really hope he's sincere about the stuff he's saying it would suck to lose the last person I believe is a true friend to me..
:
I decided to treat myself to some lunch at a restaurant close to the hotel. Being as though Andre had to leave I'm not going to let that ruin my last two days here. I came here to see a house and explore the city and that's what I'm doing. Now that I've gotten a feel of what it would be like here with just Ava I kind of like it. I'm loving the vibe and the positive energy with my baby.
I'm actually a bit happy he left only because it kind of forced me to explore on my own. I won't lie when I first came out of the hotel I was scared. I don't know anything about this town so I was nervous to be by myself. I've been to a few stores and it feels good to be in a new place even if it's only for right now.
I held Ava's carseat in the the crook of my arm and thanked the guy as he lead me to a booth towards the back. As soon as I sat down my phone started ringing, I was low-key praying for a peaceful lunch. I looked down at my phone to see my uncle Daniel calling, I haven't heard from him in almost two months.
"Hazel, I've been trying to reach you for the past two weeks. I have information that I believe you should know"
"Um.. okay"
