Don't Get Involved, Please

Distance

I couldn't sleep last night. I kept thinking about that little breakdown I had in front of Lobat. I just unleashed all my frustration on him. "He's not gonna be around me now...More importantly he might tell the others about it...! Anyways, I'll try to keep my distance from now since I really meant what I said last night. He might get extremely injured or maybe even killed..." I stopped my train of thoughts and went downstairs. "Maybe I'll keep my distance from all of them...Yeah, that's better" I thought.

"Good morning!" yelled Norio and I nodded and waved. I went to the fridge and got a bottle of strawberry juice and a bag of salty chips and then climbed back upstairs. "So what are you gonna do...today" Norio started but stopped as he saw me go back from where I came from.

I sat at my desk and started drawing something. I suck at drawing, but I still liked to try random things. I took a chip, a sip of the juice and went back to drawing. This was my routine today. Never came out of my room. I didn't even need to go to the bathroom. Nobody came to check on me. "I don't know if I should feel relieved or sad about that" I sighed. It was already night. But I wasn't done with this day. I started watching something on my tablet. Before I realized, it was morning again. "Is this what artists do everyday? Or maybe people who work from home? Or maybe...loners..." I let out a little laugh at that thought.

I went to the bathroom and did my thing once more, then went downstairs. "Good morning, Raven! You look like you didn't sleep so well" said Tori laughing a little. "Mhm" I answered and went to the fridge. Nothing.

I went upstairs again to get dressed to go outside to buy myself something. As I was on the way to the closest store there was, I saw uncle Moji that was headed to work. I instinctively hid behind a building and waited for the bus to arrive so I could go without any questions.
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30 minutes. 30 goddamn minutes I waited. It finally arrived so I stepped out and went in the store. I bought 4 bags of different types of chips and 2 big bottles of orange and strawberry juice.

I arrived back home and before Tori could ask anything I was in my room already. I went to my tablet once again and started drawing. I didn't even know if I was doing it correctly, but it didn't really matter. I just wanted to do something. Then I remembered that I had an ukulele. "I wonder if I can still play".

I played the ukulele for a while, until I got nothing else to sing. So I started to write something. It turned into a pretty sad song. It went something like this:

Just because I didn't choose this
Doesn't mean that you have a right
To judge me and say I'll get through this
Now that isn't something I like.

Maybe I am just a problem the universe just doesn't want to be solved
And maybe I am just a bad girl that just doesn't deserve to be loved.

Calling out for help
Calling out for help
I'm sure no one heard that
But I'm still trying

Calling for help
Calling for help
I'm pretty sure you ignored that
But I'll be okay

In the end, I guess this is the way.

"Are you alright?" asked someone out of nowhere. "Lobat?" I saw him standing at my door. "It's not good to spy on people. Not cool" I said. "You haven't come out of your room for a long time other than morning. What's going on? You sure have a lot of snacks..." he asked with his eyes narrowed as he entered the room and closed the door. "Look Lobat, I need you to keep your distance alright?" I said turning away from him. "Hm? Why?" he asked. "What do you mean why, you idiot? Did you forget who I am and what I do? It's been two days, you have a very bad memory" I pointed out. "Raven." he turned me around to face me and kept his hands on my shoulders. "What?" I asked. "I didn't forget. That's exactly why I won't stay away from you. You need to remember something yourself: I read your diary" he said and my eyes widened for a second. "I completely forgot about that" I whispered. "Yeah, I can see that. Now, I'm not gonna talk about what was in there, but it isn't a good mindset. Now...Call your father and ask about your mother at least. You haven't heard anything from them have you? I'll be right here, just in case you're gonna break down again" he said as he let go of me. "You don't need to stay here. You go. I'll be alright" I said and pushed him out of my room.

I sighed. He was right, I should ask if she's good. I called my father.

"Hello? Raven?" he said. "Yeah. How's mom?" I asked, going straight to the point. "She...she's dead." he said and started sobbing. I froze. I dropped my phone, then my legs dropped me. "This can't be..." I exhaled. "Raven! Are you okay?" Lobat rushed in the room. "This...is just great..." I said while having a sad smile on my face, then I clenched my fists and put my head to the ground. Tears were falling. A waterfall. "Raven..." Lobat said quietly. He stood next to me just as he said. He pat my back. Told me to let it all out. And took my phone to ask my father about the funeral.

"Tomorrow...we're going to your mom's funeral. Apparently, she didn't die because of your dad only. She also had a big tumour that they couldn't do anything about and that was mostly what killed her" Lobat explained and I stopped sobbing for a little bit. "What...?" I asked quietly. "That idiotic woman should've gone to a checkup more often!" I yelled and punched the floor. "Hey, the floor didn't do anything but hold you. No need to be aggressive to it" said Lobat, trying to lighten up the mood. "Yeah yeah...whatever. I'm not going to her funeral by the way" I said and Lobat jumped a little. "Why not...?" he asked and I got up and sat on my bed. "She was a horrible mother. Also father was horrible. Who forces their kid to join an evil organization, constantly argue in front of them and involve them in it as well? What type of parents do that?" I said laughing a little. "Yet you still cried over her death and showed that you care by saying she should've had checkups more often" Lobat pointed out. "Yeah...she's still my mother...that's the only reason I can make up in my head" I explained.
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We told everyone about it and uncle Moji didn't look surprised, nor sad, nothing. No reaction. No emotions. Maybe he knew it would happen and didn't care too much? Most likely. I went to my bedroom again and sat on my bed, looking at the ceiling. "I better get some sleep tonight, tomorrow might be a full day. The old hag always has missions on Tuesdays. I'll have to tell her about mother's death. Also to Devil. Man, how boring..."

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□{Chapter end}□