Unpredictable Match 2

Twenty Seven

Zyier says, "no."

I take a couple deep breaths to calm myself down. My whole body hurts, my head is hurting. I feel like I'm being trapped someplace I don't want to be. I do not want to be here right now. Imma end up doing something I regret if he don't get out my way.

"Let go."

He says no again.

"Please," after this, if he don't let me go, he's won't have the option no more.

He says no, "I can't let you walk out upset. That's not safe."

I yank my arm out of his hand and push him to the side. It's not enough to get him away from the door, and in a split second I ball my fist up and punch him in his side. He grabs my fist, "Nigga calm down," he whisper yells. I pull my hand away from his grip and make the very stupid, dumb ass decision to punch him, hard, in his face twice which makes him stumble away from the door in pain. Before I leave, he angrily approaches me to hit me, but then hesitantly stops. I walk out without saying anything to him, and he says nothing to me.

Why did I do that. Why the fuck would I do some dumb shit like that.

I stop in my tracks, wondering if I should go back up there and apologize to him. I decide against it and quickly leave before his mother can see me. I try to pace up the street towards the busy one so I could take the bus. I don't think I'm putting up with life no more. I just made the biggest mistake I ever made in my life. Zyier is all I got, and I chose to hit him in his face. I can't stay at home. I got nowhere to go.

Nah, all jokes aside, I think I'm better off dead. The only person who I really cared what they had to say said he wanted to kill me anyways. If I'm so much of a problem why don't I just make everyone's life better and not have them worry about me then. I'm not worth shit anyways. I'm not worth shit to my family, and I hurt the only person who thought I was worth something.

Some random bus comes and I get on it and sit all the way in the back. I'm not going home. I don't know where I'm going. I'll keep taking public transportation until I lose myself somewhere, maybe I'll find something to jump off of.

I put in my headphones and turn the music up. I close my eyes. No one knows what it's like to be in my shoes. Everyone just looks at me like I'm the problem without even bothering to ask why I am the way I am. Everyone always trying to protect a 32 year old parent from his 15 year old son, as if I'm capable of really doing something to him. But nah, some would say I made him try to commit suicide, so yeah even though that was his actions, it's still my fault. When we in a room together I feel like I'm the enemy.

Anyone who got issues with him is automatically evil. So how I feel ain't valid. My issues with the way he raised me ain't valid. If it's anything opposing what he does or says, it ain't valid. And because it ain't valid, I'm being beaten like a nigga off the street while everyone stands around and watches or tries to intervene with some weak ass, "please stop."

I'm not stupid. I know my papa didn't like my daddy beating me like that. But it's the simple fact that I thought I had one parent that was too soft and the other one was reasonable. Instead, I have one parent who's too soft and another one who's too rough. It's too much.

I lean my head against the window. A text from Taleah and my papa pop up on the screen, neither of them being the person who I want to see. I open Taleah's.