Chapter 36 - King

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A few days after their last encounter is his birthday and she cannot help but feeling awful. Uncertainty arises as she wonders if she should wish him a happy birthday but doesn't know how he will react if she does. She threw him out after all. But wouldn't he be more disappointed if she didn't? What is she supposed to do? Ignore him more than she already has? She really thought she was doing a good job until she saw him at that award show, but she only managed to show him how much she still cares. That's why he came to her apartment, that's why he knew he could try to be with her again. This whole thing is not working. Maybe she needs to be more assertive and show him there is no future for them so he can move on. Because ultimately, there is no future, they both need to accept it and stop trying to sneak a little note, a smile, an embrace or a kiss. Jinyoung is there to stay and even through he loves both of them, he won't accept them together. It's a fact. No happy birthday message.

The following weeks are spent with SuperM, supporting them on their various award shows and TV appearances, after which they go on tour and she is reassigned to one of the NCT's subgroup, being as helpful as possible, learning about each member's needs and habits. Her routine is work, friends, sleep, more work and thinking about Jaebeom, every day, to the point that she is mentally exhausted. Why can't she let go? It has now nearly been eight months that they broke up but she cannot get over him, forget her feelings for him. She has managed to avoid numerous events and therefore avoided to see him in the hope that he could move on, but Mark always drops in every so often that he doesn't date, hasn't met anyone, focuses on work... it reminds her of someone.

It is now the end March, and Jackson has invited her to his black tie birthday party, with both Jinyoung and Jaebeom being there as expected. Even though he is being very insisting, she wonders if she should go.

JS: Oh come on Jina! He whines. I never see you anymore. I miss you, we all do! You need to be there. Bring a friend if you want.

J: I don't know Jackson, I'm pretty busy these days.

JS: Jina, if you don't come, I'm cancelling the event!

J: Stop being so dramatic, she says laughing.

JS: I'm not, I swear I will.

J: Fine, I'll come.

JS: Yesssss! Black tie, so don't be shy to look gorgeous. I know you know what I'm talking about.

J: Yes. I will wear fitted clothes and not my usual baggy gear, haha!

Slightly worried at the thought she will see the both of them, and how they will react to her presence, she comes to a conclusion. What if she showed them she'd moved on, would it help them both to do so too? She doesn't have to move on, she just needs to look like she has. It might be painful to start with but it will be better in the end.

It is D-day and after arriving at the venue, a little anxious, she passes the door of the main reception room. Even though she is trying to be discreet, she can feel eyes on her as she has opted for a very glamorous lace and dark satin gown, her hair up in a tight bun and her smoky eyes finishing the look perfectly.

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