not how it's supposed to go ||KageHina Fanfic||

what i chose to do

Third Person’s POV

Hinata was just… hanging.

His cold, pale body, just hanging.

~(flashback) Before they went into the house or just after Hinata watched Kageyama’s video. ~

“I’m so sorry..! I really can’t live without you, Kageyama!” He takes the rope and stands on the chair. He ties it around his neck. ‘I’m sorry..! I’m so sorry…! I really… really can’t live without you after all…!’ He apologizes and apologizes. He removes the chair and then the rope catches him. He feels it strangling him. Little by little, he starts to die.

‘sorry, Coach Ukai… sorry, Takeda-sensei… sorry, Daichi-san… sorry, Asahi-san… sorry, Yachi-san… sorry, Shimizu-san… sorry, Narita-san, and Kinoshita-san… sorry, Tanaka-san… sorry, Noya-san… sorry, Yamaguchi… sorry, Tsukishima… sorry, Sugawara-san…………… sorry, Kageyama…’ Hinata apologizes for the last time as he was finally going to die. This life of pain, and misery will finally be over. No more sadness. No more heartbreaks. No more lies. No more bad things. He sees the clock change to 12 am. It was Christmas. I guess death is the perfect present for a person with a miserable life. He smiles one last time as he takes his final breath.

‘goodbye… everyone… sorry but… it’s what I chose to do… and i don't have long until i die anyway... goodbye..!’ His head and hands were just left hanging. He’s dead.

~(end of flashback)~

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” Sugawara falls down to the floor and then breaks down. Tears and screams just came out of him.

‘Shit! I was too late! Hinata..! I’m sorry..!’ Tsukishima also cries as he punches the wall and slams his face on it over and over again. He really was too late.

Everyone just cried and cried. The body of their beloved friend and partner was just hanging there. His face was pale and his body was lifeless. Nothing remained of him. They all know that Hinata suffered hardships and misery but, they didn’t know it would come to this. They weren’t expecting this at all but still, they were worried for him and this was just a ‘worst-case scenario’ for them. Everyone blamed themselves from either being too late, or not paying attention enough. This was a really heartbreaking thing to look at. No one was to blame. No one was at fault. This was Hinata’s decision. This is what he chose to do. Actually, the only one who knew everything about Hinata, is Kageyama. Which is another heartbreaking thing. They are partners after all. They’ll be together always. In life, and in death.

“Daichi, please… cut him down from there..!” Sugawara begs Daichi to do it. Daichi nods as he wipes away his tears. He takes a knife from the kitchen, and then cuts down the rope that’s holding Hinata. Hinata falls. Sugawara and Tsukishima catches him. They just cry on his body as they feel it get colder and colder and his body get paler and paler. Takeda-sensei and Coach Ukai have already accepted it and call on an ambulance. The others were just weeping and crying their eyes out. They’ll probably never accept it and move on. Hinata did hold a special place in all of their hearts. So did Kageyama but, he was always with Hinata and was hardly seen with others. Even so, they still loved and treasured their limited time with him. It was just sad to have the two friends you loved the most and played games with, die in front of your eyes. Everyone was also regretting the fact that they didn’t spend enough time with him. They all wanted to be with Hinata and Kageyama even more. Play more matches, walk around the city, hang out, and talk about their relationships. Unfortunately, that all ended today. They missed their chances of exchanging presents with the both of them. They missed their chances of getting closer to Hinata and Kageyama. They’ll never have anyone that can replace the both of them. They were just, the best friends you can ask for. But, taking care of them is something that only a person with a lot of patience and composure can handle. Luckily, mostly everyone there was that person. That’s why everyone loved the both of them.

The hardest thing is that, they eventually have to accept it. To accept that they’re gone. To move on. To look at their future. That really was the most difficult thing to do. To have someone that you love so much, just disappear or die and you have to move on, was just the hardest thing to overcome. It is difficult but if they don’t do it, then they’ll carry the weight of guilt and regret for the rest of their lives and not move forward at all. They’ll keep taking steps back and stopping for Hinata even though when they turn around, he won’t be there. Not anymore. And then when they notice that, they’ll just stop moving forward at all and just grieve and mourn for Hinata. That’s the only thing that will come out if they don’t move on. A bad future. Of course they should take their time. It takes time to recover from that. It’s just worrisome if Hinata’s death will mess up the futures of all of his friends. And they all should know that the world isn’t exactly what you call a nice place. It isn’t always filled with sunshine and rainbows. It isn’t a kind and peaceful place at all. Something called ‘human beings’ were messing it up. Not everyone but some were doing the worst things and also influences the other people around the person to do it too. Which then leads into anarchy. This sort of situation with the Karasuno volleyball members is exactly that. Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei were worrying about the others following them next. They were worried that Hinata dying, could mean the end of the other’s around him too. It may be foreshadowing but they weren’t going to take that risk. They decided on listening, observing, and looking at them more intently. They don’t even know if the others will keep playing volleyball after this. Which was another problem. They weren’t worried about the volleyball club ending. Not at all. That’s the worst thing to worry about right now. They were worried because if they do decide that they won’t play anymore, Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei can’t look at them properly. Even if it wasn’t their fault that this happened, they were still guilty. No more practice matches means, no more meet-ups, and hangouts and anything that involves socializing.

Minutes pass, the ambulance comes in. Takeda-sensei called them earlier. The others were still crying. Sugawara didn’t want to hand Hinata away. Neither did Tsukishima but, he wasn’t necessarily the type of person that shows that he cares for other people. He does care but, he just doesn’t show it. Maybe it’s because he’s embarrassed, or shy. He kind of accepted it already, but at the same time, he didn’t. He was still arguing with himself for being too stupid, or too slow to not see this coming. Actually, no one saw this coming. Eventually, Sugawara finally handed Hinata over to the doctors. These doctors said their condolences and ‘sorrys’ and then went off. Hinata was dead. He can’t be resurrected or revived. Sugawara stands up and wipes away his tears. He turned around but his eyes caught something. Something familiar.

A letter.