not how it's supposed to go ||KageHina Fanfic||

wrong place, wrong time

Hinata's POV

I wake up. I try to open my eyes but it was difficult. The tears dried up and the sun was absolutely blinding. It was already time for school. I just spent the entire Sunday crying, bawling my eyes out or just wasting my time to think about what the hell was wrong with Kageyama. After he did it with me, he just left. He left with a pretty serious expression too. Which made me worry even more.

I still had 3 hours to do whatever I need to do and go to school. School was about 8:30 am and I woke up at about 5 am. I didn't even know if I slept or not. I might just have shut my eyes but my mind may have been awake the entire time. I wanted to forget about everything that happened. So many thoughts just came into my mind that night. Just a whole anxiety fest.

I decided that I shouldn't just sit around just doing nothing so I stand up and went downstairs. I thought that if I cooked something and ate something, I would eventually feel better. I just stop in my tracks and look around for a moment. The lonely atmosphere of the house gave me a faint chill down my spine even though I was so used to it already. Still, it gives me the creeps.

I just keep staring and looking around the room. I felt like I haven't got a good look on it. Ever. I was just left here alone by my family. Luckily, I was taught on how to cook, clean, and everything you need to do to keep a house stable. My parents, even though they were far away, still pay the bills and house itself. I'm just here to keep it in check.

I open the fridge and get some ingredients to make breakfast. I had some bread also so maybe egg and toast was good enough as a breakfast meal. I cook up some eggs and slather it on some butter. Even though oil was the common thing to use, butter makes it taste so much better. Just waiting for the eggs cook, I put some bread in the toaster and wait. I like waiting. It just means that I have some time to think about life and everything.

I hear a faint pop on the egg. The aroma of the butter melting filled the room. After I saw that it was already cooked, I turn off the heat and get my toast. It had already finished before. I take it and put it on my plate. Then, I take the freshly-cooked eggs and put it on top of the toast. I set it on the table and it did make me feel better. It made me much happier.

After having a good meal, I clean up the pans and the plates I used and then went to the bathroom. I still had about 2 hours so I was good on time. I take a bath and brush my teeth. I put on my uniform and get ready to go to school. I still had about an hour but I guess that being early wouldn't hurt.

I take off and start heading to school. Just looking over to see the sunrise and the horizon while taking a bike to school gave me even more time to think. I regret what I did but I also don't regret it at the same time. I love Kageyama. That's a fact that I've already accepted. The problem is; does he love me? 

A lot of thinking gone by and I have already made it to school. There was barely any people here so I wasn't expecting the clubroom to be open. I didn't know where I would go but I felt like the roof was a good place to just hang by while waiting for everything to start up in school. I park my bike and slowly walked towards the roof. 

I was just walking and then I hear some talking and some oddly weird noises. It was near the vending machine and the clubroom. I decide to go and investigate without making any noise as much as possible. I peek the corner. I immediately regret what I saw.

I run. I run and I run. Kageyama... Kageyama was... ugh. I sigh and kept on running. Tears were streaming down my face. I run up to the roof. I just sprinted toward the halls and past the classrooms. No one was here. Everything was still closed. Lights and doors. Teachers weren't even this early. Except... Kageyama... Kageyama was early. He was early but... he was spending his time by making out with a girl...

I burst open the roof's door and just collapsed and cried. I cry. I shout. I don't shout loudly because it might attract the attention of Kageyama and... the girl he was with.

I spend about 30 minutes just laying down on the ground. I eventually stopped crying. I was just laying down on the floor curled up like a ball. I see the time and notice that it was almost time for morning practice. I got up, wiped the tears from my face and look over to where the clubroom is. Suga-san, and the others were already there so I figured that I was the only one left.

I start to head down the stairs and just slowly walk. The rooms were now lit up and the doors were also open. There were just friend groups everywhere and talking and laughing. I also saw some couples but immediately averted my gaze.

I was close to the clubroom so I decide to shake off my thoughts first and put on a smile like I always do. I stop and look in the mirror. 

I can't.

I can't.

I can't smile.

I can't smile genuinely.

My eyes were just red from all the crying. 

My face was also covered with noticeable teardrop marks. 

My smile is gone.

My sunshine is gone.

My happiness is gone.