not how it's supposed to go ||KageHina Fanfic||

lost control

Hinata's POV

I shake off the bad thoughts and everything else that was weighing me down. I didn't want my personal emotions to stop me from growing and getting better at volleyball. I needed to be better or otherwise, I'm just going to be a decoy that doesn't even know how to receive a stupid ball. At first I didn't care what people thought of me, but now that I've been hit with a lot of different emotions and events, it has gotten on my nerves recently.

I can't even look at Kageyama in the eyes so I decided to make Sugawara-san toss for me just for today because, again, I do not want to deal with Kageyama right now. I can't even calm down when I'm close to him. It's not that its because I love him but it was just because I was scared that I'll just burst out random questions and argue with him and waste his time and mine as well when we could've both been practicing. But trust me, I was hesitating. I was hesitating to just come talk to him straight up in the middle of the gym. Kageyama ignoring me and telling me to forget about it was just pissing me off so much. I still didn't get over it.

I looked over to his direction for a short while. I saw that his face was so cold and... plain. He seemed very angry or very displeased about something. Tsukishima was also blatantly avoiding him. His stares were also on a different level too. Even Yamaguchi was looking very scared and uncomfortable being around him. Did Tsukishima and Kageyama fight? I highly doubt it since they barely talk or even look at each other. So what happened?

"Hinataaaa! Spike my tosses please!!" Sugawara-san calls out to me. It seems that he noticed me looking back and forth at Kageyama and Tsukishima. I guess he was just worried. Which made me... really happy..

"Ok!!! I'll be right there!!" I reply. I sigh and stop thinking about other things and just focus on volleyball. I then head over to Sugawara-san.

I spike and I spike. Hitting Sugawara-san's tosses felt really good but, it felt the best when I hit Kageyama's tosses. I receive and I receive. I'm going to admit that I miss Kageyama scolding me about my crappy receives. I jump and I jump. I miss Kageyama telling me to jump higher and higher. Those were the good old days. Right now I was holding back tears. I shake the tears and thoughts off again and just continue to play volleyball.

~Third Person's POV~

Hmm. Coach Ukai was just staring attentively at Hinata. Others were too but they just get back at playing, after. But Coach Ukai looked at Hinata the entire time. He noticed that Hinata's smile was slowly fading as he spiked more tosses, jumped even higher, and received. He was getting really worried about that.

"Ok! Everyone, have a 5-minute break first!! Good job so far!!" Coach Ukai announces. Hinata was very surprised at the timing of when he was just about to cry. Hinata looks over at Coach Ukai and sees him staring. Coach Ukai just smiles at Hinata and Hinata surprisingly smiles back at him.

Coach Ukai was very pleased at Hinata's smile. It just reassured him that Hinata was going to be alright. It just completely removed his worries about Hinata. Meanwhile, Daichi was talking with Sugawara and Asahi, Tanaka and Nishinoya were talking about girls and Shimizu again while Ennoshita was scolding them, Yachi was with Shimizu, Kinoshita and Narita were just sitting on the floor talking, and Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were also just chatting. But Kageyama was just... gone. He wasn't here. He didn't go home already because his bag was still there. And Hinata rushed outside earlier... This isn't going to be good.

Hinata sees Kageyama heading out of the gym. He wasn't doing anything important so he decided to go and 'stalk' Kageyama a little. Hinata peeks out of the gym's door and looks at Kageyama. Kageyama looked around him to see if anyone was here and then he rushed around the corner. Hinata being the curious one, he also rushed to go see where Kageyama was going.

There he sees, Kageyama, making out with his girlfriend again. Hinata suddenly feels a lot of anger rising inside him. He was basically clenching his fists just by seeing that. He waits for the girl to go and get the fuck out. Then he'll go and finally talk to Kageyama. Hinata felt like he could do it right now.

The girl leaves. That means: it's time. Hinata walks up to Kageyama as soon as Kageyama finishes waving and faces front.

"Why. Why didn't you tell me before?" Hinata says in a dead serious tone. Kageyama knew he was pissed. He was clearly shocked that Hinata actually had the courage to come up and face him. He would congratulate him but right now, he couldn't care less about what Hinata does. He ignores it but Hinata quickly runs in front of Kageyama and blocks his way.

"Don't you even fucking think about running away." Kageyama was shocked again by Hinata's sudden tone and actions. He had never seen Hinata this serious. He knew Hinata wasn't going to stop so he finally decided to talk.

"I'm not... 'running away'." Kageyama says. He was also getting pissed because this reminded him of Tsukishima's interruption.

"Then why? Why would you leave me that night?" Hinata asks, tearing up. He was just so angry right now. He wanted answers. He desperately needed it. Kageyama doesn't reply.

"Why? Why did you leave me when I finally thought you loved me back?!" Hinata shouts. Hoping to finally getting a reply. Nothing. That made him even more pissed.

'stop.' Kageyama thinks to himself.

"Why did you have to go and leave me when I needed you the most?!" Hinata shouts again, crying his eyes out.

'please, stop.'

"Why did you leave me when I thought I finally had a purpose to continue living?!"

'STOP!!!'

"Why?!! Tell me fucking why?!"

"BECAUSE I ALREADY HAD A GIRLFRIEND! I ALREADY KNEW THAT YOU LOVE ME A LONG TIME AGO. WHEN YOU FORCED YOURSELF ON ME, I THOUGHT THAT I HAD NO CHOICE BECAUSE I WAS IN YOUR HOUSE AND YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN "NO" FOR AN ANSWER! I also asked you on a 'date' so that I could tell you I had a girlfriend. I just didn't think things would get this bad." Kageyama finally replies back. Hinata just knelt down because his knees were getting numb from all this. He couldn't take anymore. But, Kageyama started speaking again.

"Honestly, just stay the hell away from me. I already have a purpose in living. Unfortunately, that purpose isn't you. Goodbye." With that, Kageyama leaves. But, Hinata sprints past him while covering his face to not show that he was crying. Hinata quickly gets his bag and gets out.

"Hinata!! Wait!!" Sugawara calls out. But it was no use. Hinata didn't turn back. He took his bike and left. Kageyama also got his bag and left soon after.

This was a really life-changing day for them. Not just them, but to everyone. Kageyama just lost control a little.