Raavana's Mandodari

Suspicion.

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved"

- Helen Keller

* * * * *

* * * * *

~ Mandodari ~

Do you know what is the worst thing that can possibly destroy one's life? Ask me, and I'd say doubt. It doesn't let you live, doesn't let you go. It snatches away every positive thing in your life and fills up uncertainty. Suspicion is the real devil. And the only remedy it has - is trust. But again, trust me, trust is a double edged sword. It can ruin you or can get you peace. You are all probably wondering where I am going with this. 

And no. It isn't Raavana I am speaking about, but someone else. 

Let me give you a rewind of what happened today from the start.

After yesterday's fiasco, I took a leave today. I was exhausted both physically and emotionally. Added to that was the plan of going to Rajeshwari's college and talk to her batch mates. It took my all to stop myself from calling Raavana saying that I wouldn't come to the college today and that he could just go. I had to stop myself because I wanted to personally question the person who could have murdered my Rajeshwari. Coming to terms with the fact that Rajeshwari is no more, is hard. Very hard. Reality is sometimes hard, but I know it is important to accept it.

Even if whatever Raavana said about Rajeshwari was true, she did not deserve death. Definitely did not. It sometimes still feels like a dream to me. I believe that whatever a person is, it is because of the situations they faced and it is not right to make a rigid opinion about them without knowing their side of the story. Of course today Rajeshwari is no more with us to tell her side of the story, I mused sadly.

As planned the day before, Raavana and I started to the college with intentions to reach there before the classes start so we can talk to them without disturbing their schedule. After we reached the destination, thankfully before the classes started, Raavana headed out to have a word with the Principal while I stayed back to see if I can find out anything about Rajeshwari from her friends. 

The first person that I was on look out for Reena, because she was the only one I know enough to talk without seeming strange, or unusual for that matter. As I was wandering in the hallways looking out for her, I collided with someone. 

"I am so sorry, Mam. I was not looking where I was walking to" The girl spoke before I could.

"I am sorry too. I wasn't watching"