My boss

The Break Up

It's been a few months at the new job now and it's going pretty good. I've learned more about technology in the past month than I have in my whole life.
As for me and Sam we aren't doing very well. It seems that everything I do or say is wrong in her eyes. I do my nest everyday to make her happy but it's so hard when I feel like we barely ever talk to each other about how we're feeling. The past few days we haven't talked much. We go to work, we come home, we go to bed.
Alli and I have been talking more often. Only as friends of course. No matter what I would never cheat on Sam. It's been nice to talk to someone that doesn't yell at me for little things. It's been hard though not to let myself fall for her. She's so sweet, and supportive, and I miss having someone like that in my life.
"Hey! How's everything with you today?" Alli asks as she walks by my station at work. That smile. Ugh. Why is life so complicated?
"It's been better. But I'm hanging in there!" I try to say being enthusiastic but I can tell she doesn't buy it. I hate bothering her with all of my problems. She could be doing much better things with her time.
"Really? The fake smile? What happened today?" She says with a tone of concern. She knows Sam and I have been having issues with our relationship lately.
   "Just the usual. She thinks I did something wrong so it's all my fault. This time it was over a freaking pizza. Apparently I put the pizza in the oven the wrong way." I tell her trying not breakdown in the middle of the work day.
   "Hey, how about we have a friend night at my place. Wings, beer and 90210? The new version because I know that one is your favorite." Alli asks while trying to pretend to type on her computer next to me.
   She knows me so well. How could I resist food, beer and my favorite show? I already know what Sam would think but you know what, I'm gonna do something I want to do for once.
   "That sounds amazing! I could really use a night of peace." I try to not seem too excited about it. This will be the first time we are hanging out outside of work. Not that I have anything to be nervous about BECAUSE IM MARRIED. Ugh. I really need to get my head in the game.
"You okay over there grumpy face?" Alli asks in her concerned voice like usual. I really should stop making her worry about me. But it's sweet that she does. Damn, she caught my thinking face. I was hoping she wouldn't notice I was internally yelling at myself.
"Yeah all good. Just trying to find a way to tell Sam I won't be home with her later." I try to laugh it off but on the inside I'm freaking out. "I don't want to start another argument. That seems to be all we do anymore. I can't remember the last time we just talked, and laughed, and shared a meal together without yelling at each other. I love her but this isn't what love should feel like....ugh sorry. I'm totally getting into my feelings again. You do not need worry about me or listen to me rant about my dooming love life." I tell her as I try to focus on my work in front of me.
   She gives me this look and I'm not quite sure if it's concerning or her realizing I'm a nut case. Probably the second because I totally am.
   "Gray...it'll be alright. Whatever happens, happens. Love isn't supposed to be easy. There will always be a few hardships here and there." She says with that concerned voice again. I wish it were that easy.
   The work day passes and I'm on my way to find Sam and tell her I won't be home because I'm going to hang out with Alli. I see her walking towards the car and I flag her down. She turns to me with that smile that melts my heart every time.
   "Hey babe, you ready to go home? Did you forget your stuff inside?" She asks as she notices I don't have my things with me. I left them inside because Alli still has a few things to finish up so I was waiting on her.
   "Yeah, well no, I uh-I'm gonna go hang out with Alli after work...is that alright?" It feels weird to have to ask permission to hang out with a friend. She looks at me and I can already tell she's annoyed.
   "Seriously? You're gonna go 'hang out' with the girl that can't keep her eyes off of you? Of course you are." Sam is now raising her voice slightly as we stand in the parking lot.
   "Are you kidding me? She does not! We're just friends and that's it! What is your problem with her?"
   "My problem? You're the one that seems to have checked out of our marriage the day you met her. You know what? You might as well stay with her because we're done. I'm so sick and tired of making you choose." She yells at me. I can't believe she's doing this. In the parking lot of all places!
   "Seriously? Are you really breaking up with me because I wanted to hang out with a friend?" I try to reason with her.
   "No. I'm ending this because ever since you met her you've barely even noticed me. We barely have sex anymore, you're always finding a reason to be somewhere else!" She continues to yell. I can't believe she's doing this in the parking lot of all places.
   "Fine. If that's what you really want then just let me know when I can come and get my stuff..." I'm standing there trying not to cry. Trying not to show her that she broke me. "Goodbye Sam. Hope you find someone that makes you happy."
   I walk back inside. Trying not to breakdown in the middle of the room. I can't believe that just happened. How could she just end our marriage in one argument? Over hanging out with a friend? She she seriously thought Alli has a thing for me? I would have noticed if she did. Ugh. Speaking of Alli, I see her sitting at her desk where she practically lives. I'll wait until tomorrow to tell her about what happened between Sam and I. I don't want to ruin our friend night.
   "Hey! There you are! You ready to go? What's wrong? Why are your eyes so puffy?" She sounds so concerned it's actually kinda cute.
   "Uh-nothing. Just allergies. I'm fine I promise!" I try to convince her with a smile but I can tell she doesn't believe me.
   "Seriously, what's going on? Did Sam say something when you told her you were coming over to my place?" The red head asks. We start walking out and head to her car. Have I mentioned how in love I am with her car? Matte lavender Camero with white leather seats. If I could marry a car I would. We finally get in the car and I can't hold it in any longer. She's gonna find out eventually so I might as well tell her now.
  "Well she uh-didn't take it very well. We fought like usual, she accused you of having a 'thing' for me and she kinda ended it. That's all." I try to pass off with a monotone voice so she doesn't worry too much. She gets a weird look on her face though when I mentioned the part about Sam accusing her of having a thing for me. Wonder what that was about?
   "WHAT? Sorry I didn't mean to yell...but Gray, she seriously broke up with you? Because you wanted to hang out with me?"
   "Yup. She sure did. I have no idea where I'm gonna go. I guess I'll just find a cheap hotel nearby until I can find my own place." I can't believe this is actually happening.
   "Hey, look at me." Alli says as she grabs my face to look at her. "I know it sucks right now, but it's her loss. Look at you! You're a catch. And if you're worried about finding somewhere to stay then...stay with me. I have the space and I can't let you stay in a dirty hotel." Her hand is still holding my chin and I can't but blush a little because her hands are so soft. I'm torturing myself.
   "Alli, as nice as that sounds I can't impose like that."
   "Of course you can! I promise it's not a bother at all. It'll be fun. Like one big slumber party." She suggests with a laugh towards the end. I mean, I guess it would be better than a cheap hotel.
   "Ugh, fine. But only until I find a place of my own. And it won't be long at all."
   I look over and she's looking at me with the biggest smile on her face. I hate the feeling I get when I look at her. The way she makes me feel every time she smiles at me. I just broke up with my wife and all I can think about is the beautiful woman sitting next to me that is now apparently my roommate? Wow, my life is such a mess.
   We're finally at Allis place. As we walk in I take my shoes off by the door and set my stuff down on the table by the door as well.
   "Soooo this is it." Alli tells me as she gestures to her apartment. The walls are a blueish gray color, the couch is a cream color and it looks very cozy. I can't believe I'm actually in her apartment.
   "It looks very cozy. It fits you very well." I tell her as I stand awkwardly in the living room.
   "You want anything to drink? Water, coffee, beer?" I hear her yell from the kitchen.
   "A beer would be amazing!" I reply. I sit down on the couch. There's a fireplace next to the window with a Tv mounted above it. As I'm looking around I can't help but to think about everything that has happened today. I woke up this morning thinking everything was normal. I was happy, at least I thought I was. I'm not even sure anymore.
   "Hey, hey, hey what's wrong? You're crying." Alli notices as she sits down next to me. I hadn't even noticed I was crying until I felt the tears on my face.
   "Damn it, I'm so sorry. I'm such a mess." I try to laugh it off.
   I notice that she scooted a little closed to me on the couch. Beer in hand, leaning into the back of the couch, I can't help but smile every time I look at her. I don't want to feel this way. It feels wrong, but so right at the same time.
   "I had such a horrible day but somehow you manage to make it better every time. How do you do it?" I ask her with tears still running down my face but a small smile forming on my lips.
   "I try my best. You deserve to be happy." The beautiful girl in front of me says as she sips her beer. How am I supposed to to do this? Live in the same apartment with her and that damn smile. Ugh.