My boss

Hard choices

                             *Alli's point of view*
                                 *smut warning*

   Waking up the next morning I turn over and cuddle into Grayson next to me. I look at the clock and we have a few minutes before we have to get ready. Gray isn't a morning person usually but if I wake her up with kisses she wakes up with a smile on her face and I love it.
   I decide to kiss her cheek and slowly make my way down to her neck. By the time I kiss her jaw line I can tell she's awake because she's stirring next to me. I continue and make my way down to her collarbone with my lips. Once I do this she grabs me by the waist suddenly and pulls me on top of her. I can't deny that I find that very sexy. She pulls me in for a kiss as her hands wander around my thighs. Her fingers find her way underneath my shorts as she teases my core. I can feel her smile against my lips as she kisses me.
   The next thing I know she slides 2 fingers into me and I moan into her mouth. From the position I'm in I slightly move my hips to match her rhythm. My core tightens with every movement. Her fingers sliding in and out so easily.
   "Oh—yes! Fuck me baby." I can't help but moan a little too loudly. Her fingers go deeper inside of me and I feel I'm going to come undone any second now.
   "Mhmm, I bet you're so close." She whispers in my ear. Hearing that I get even closer. By now I'm riding her fingers and it feels so good. A few more pumps and my walls tighten, my abdomen tightens, and I scream her name as I come undone on top of my sexy girlfriend.
   I take a second to calm my breathing as I lay in her arms. That was the best way I could ever wake up. We should defiantly do that more often.
   "I hope we don't get a noise complaint." The woman next to me teases. I know she's kidding but I'm all honesty I really hope we don't.
   "Well at least now they know your name." I reply to her with a smirk on my face. I'm usually not loud in bed but she's got some magical fingers. I can't help myself sometimes.
   "Mhm, I would love to wake up like that every morning." Gray smiles at me.
   "I was just thinking the same thing." I tell her. I gaze over at her and my heart is just filled with so many emotions. I'm so in love with the woman laying next to me but yet I feel like I still don't have all the words to tell her exactly how I feel. Maybe that's what being in love feels like. Maybe I'm not supposed to have all the words to say.
   We both shower and get ready for the day. We find a quick breakfast since our morning activities took a little longer than expected. Gray tells me she wants to drive today so we head to her car. I look over at her and notice that she's wearing my hoodie and my beanie. I don't mind one but because she looks amazing in both. Better than I ever could.
   We head into work to start our day. Through out the day I start to see a theme of all of the items I'm handling. Babies.
   As a shipping company we get lots of random items everyday. Some normal, some...not so normal. But today I have seen more baby items than I've seen in my whole time here. Is everyone in the world having babies right now? I can't help but to think about how cute little Graysons would be. Dark hair, hazel eyes, and that adorable smile. They would be perfect. I know Grayson has thought about kids but I think she's too afraid to ask me what I think about it. I know I mentioned it once but we haven't talked about it since. The more I think about raising a child the more it scares me but the more I crave to have that experience.
   The work day comes to an end and Gray and I head home. We sit for a bit and relax before I start making dinner. Tonight is taco night. Easy and delicious my favorite two things.
I feel two arms wrap around my waist from behind as I stand at the stove and I melt into her. I set the spoon down and I turn around to kiss my beautiful girlfriend. I pull away and I finally look down to realize that she has changed into a very sexy silk pajama set. I run my hands up and down her back and I slip my hands under her shirt.
"Hey, I think you should probably focus on the food or else it'll look like I cooked it." Gray suggests with a laugh.
"Fine but we will continue this later." I tell her and I turn back to the stove to finish cooking.
"So how was your day at work?" She asks me as she sets up the table. I consider telling her about the baby stuff and that whole conversation but I'm a bit nervous.
   "Uh—it was good. One of those days where you have a lot of one thing. Today was baby stuff. Apparently everyone is having babies." I say. I laugh kinda nervously at the end. I don't know why I'm so scared to have this conversation with her.
   "Really? Weird. I didn't see much of it." The woman replies. She says it with such a monotone voice. Now I'm even more worried. Has she changed her mind about kids?
   "It's all very cute." I try to add to the conversation but she just stares at her phone and nods her head. "Soo...I know we had a small conversation about it once but, what's your opinion on kids baby?"
   "Eh—they're cute. But I'm not sure if they're for me personally. I wouldn't want to push a human out of my body." She walks over to the fridge to get something to drink as she replies to me. Wow. Not the response I expected.
   "I wouldn't mind pushing one out. Especially for you babe." I tell her.
   "I don't know. They're a lot to handle don't you think? Also very expensive from what I've heard." She replies with a laugh.
   "Yeah. Of course." I try to play off but by this point I don't know how to feel. I was so sure that she wanted kids. Is this going to be a deal breaker for her? For us? I stay quiet for most of the evening. We eat in silence and I head to the kitchen to put the plates in the sink after we're done eating. I love this woman so much and I can't imagine my life without her.
   "Hey, baby, you alright? What's wrong?" Gray asks me as she brings her hand up to my cheek. I hadn't even noticed that I was crying until she said something.
   "I'm alright. I promise." I wipe the tears from my face and put a smile on my face hoping she believes it.
   "No you're not. You don't just cry for no reason....is this about earlier? The kids conversation?" She asks me.
   "No. It's fine. We don't have to worry about it. I don't want to fight about it." I tell her hoping she lets it go.
   I can see her visibly sigh. I can't tell what she's thinking but I hope it's not bad. I don't want to lose her. I mean, we don't have to have kids right? I can live without my own children. I can just babysit other peoples kids. Or maybe she will change her mind one day.
   "Are you really upset about this? I hasn't realized you were serious about that. Do we have to talk about this now? It's not like we're having kids now is it?" She asks in a defensive tone. I can't believe she's so against the topic.
   "No, I guess not but we will probably have to have the conversation eventually right? We've been together for a little over a year now and I can't imagine my life without you. Is this a deal breaker for you? You know what, never mind I'm tired and we have to work tomorrow we should really head to bed." I don't let her reply and I go get ready for bed. I don't know how to feel about this. I know she's not trying to upset me but what am I supposed to do? Just push past it until it comes up again? It hurts my heart thinking about living without her in my life. She makes me whole. She makes me feel like a better person. She brought such happiness into my life. Before we met I wasn't in the best place. I couldn't find any happiness in my life and everyday seemed miserable. But then she showed up and it slowly became whole again. I close my eyes and slowly fall asleep.