My boss

Hard choices Pt. 2

                             *Alli's point of view*

I wake up to my alarm blaring in my ear. I reach to turn it off with my eyes still closed. I'm so tired. I didn't get much sleep last night. That's what usually happens when I go to bed in a bad mood or stressed out.
I turn over and see that my girlfriend isn't laying next to me. For a second I panic but then I hear her getting ready in the bathroom. Weird. She never usually gets out of bed without telling me good morning and cuddling me for a minute. I get up and head to the bathroom to see her standing at the mirror. I walk up and wrap my arms around her waist.
"Good morning. Why didn't you wake me when you got up?" I ask her. She turns around without looking at me and slivers out of my arms. I can tell she's upset. I hate when she's upset.
"I wasn't sure where we stood after you stormed off to bed last night without me." The brunette replies to me as she continues to get dressed.
"I didn't storm off to bed. I was tired. And are we really going to fight about this? I don't want to argue anymore." I try to reason with her.
"Sure seemed like it." She pauses. "I don't want you to have to give up your dream of having a child because of me. I don't want to be the one to stand in your way." Grayson tells me finally.
"So...what? That's it? We're breaking up because someday in the future you might not want kids? If that's what it comes to then I won't have kids! I can't lose you!" I tell her. I'm not sure if I mean that but I'm the moment it's all I can think to say.
"No. That's not what I want. Of course I want to have a live with you. I would never dream of leaving you princess." She's says to me as we sit on the bed for a moment. She takes my hands in hers and continues talking. "But—I don't think I can live with myself knowing I'm the reason you won't get the perfect life. Knowing I can't give you what you truly want. What if you resent me one day because I didn't want the same things that you did? I don't want that for you or us. I'm not sure where this leaves us but I can't stand in the way of your happiness anymore. I see how big your smile gets when you see kid stuff at the store or when you see a baby somewhere. You light up and you can't tell me honestly that you don't want a child of your own because I know you do."
"Grayson...I don't know what to say—" She cuts me off.
"You don't have to say anything...I packed some of my stuff up last night after you went to bed. I found a place to stay for a little while until I find my own apartment. I love you so so much Alli but I can't be the one that takes away your happiness." She finishes with tears in her eyes. By this point I'm trying my hardest not to do the same but I can't help it. I have no idea what to say. Is she really breaking up with me right now?
"Baby, please we can work this out. I can't lose you." At this point I'm barely even getting my words out because I'm crying so hard. Grayson walks towards the front door and I grab her arm to pull her closer to me. I pull her in for a hug and I don't want to let go. I can't.
"Alli, you have to let go...I have to get to work." She tries to pry me from her body.
"Gray...I love you. This can't be the end of us." I tell her trying to convince her to stay.
"I love you too. You have no idea how much I love you but I can't hold you back anymore. Please understand that." She says as she grabs my face into her hands. Her thumbs caress my cheeks and she gives me a small smile. "I'll see you later...you should probably get ready since work starts soon. I'll see you around beautiful." That's the last thing she says as she heads out the door. I stand in the doorway for a while trying to wrap my brain around the fact that within just an hour I lost the love of my life. Done. Over.
I sit on the couch for a little while longer. At this point I'm not worried about being late to work. I call in and let them know I'm not feeling too well and that I need the day off. I make my way to the bedroom and lay down in bed. As I lay down I look over and notice that Grayson took all of her things off of the top of the dresser. This is real. She really left. How could she just leave like that?
The day goes on and I'm still laying in bed. I turned on the tv and put on some random show. I don't even think I've actually watched most of it I just stare blankly at it while listening to the sound in the background. I've tried to find motivation to get up but I can't find any. Every time I think about what happened this morning I burst into tears. I'm pretty sure I'm going to run out of tears soon. My eyes will just run dry.
I finally get out of bed and go make myself something to eat. I grab some eggs and bread and turn on the stove. I put the toast in the toaster as I scramble the eggs. Nothing too much but it'll keep me from passing out from hunger.
The day passes by and I sit alone in my apartment. It's so quiet. By this time Gray and I would usually be coming home from work together. But I know she won't be walking through that door today. Or any day.
I'm not prepared to go to work tomorrow. I don't know how I'll face anyone let alone casually passing by the love of my life in the hallway, or the lunch room. I log into my work account on my laptop and I see that I have a few more days of vacation left in the year. I request off as many as I have. Maybe a few more days will make it easier when I go back.